Refrigerator End Table
Men of discerning tastes should not suffer the indignity of walking back and forth from the couch to the kitchen for a beer. We put a man on the moon for God’s sake. Hand-made by Amish craftsmen and built to last for generations, this is no flimsy Walmart furniture. Class out the wazoo.
Good luck convincing them this isn’t an acid flashback. This remote-controlled fish will be a welcome break from conventional pets that need feeding and only stay in the air for a few seconds. Holds enough helium to turn any house party into a chipmunk colony.
Most people don’t understand the technical side of beer pouring, or beer consumption for that matter. Display your nerdhood proudly for all to see, and let everyone know you speak the language. These glasses send a clear message: get with the program.
Time to do some studying before you arrive on campus. Get some sage advice on how to avoid the most common pitfalls of college freshmanhood, from someone who’s been there and done that. They’ll sit back and laugh at their classmates as their lives unravel.
Here is a compilation of tips, tricks, hints and advice for the college bound student. For example, did you know that instead of taking a shower and cleaning up their dorm room they can spread dry tea bags around to absorb the odor? Or instead of keeping their shoes off the coffee table they can use oil and vinegar to get the scratches out. There are lots of useful ideas in here that can help one navigate through these challenging years of academics and hygiene.
Studies show that short naps can significantly improve mental performance. Here is their very own plush, portable head enclosure, so no matter where they are, they can take a nap so peaceful they’ll be angry that they woke up. Angry and smart as hell.
Wouldn’t those eggs look better with their gorgeous face next to them? Any photograph can be converted into a template that will burn their beautiful mug right into every piece of bread that goes in the toaster. Fret no more, narcissism doesn’t have to wait until after breakfast.
We can’t emphasize this enough: you ride the motorized cooler full of drinks to the party, you drink its contents, and then you WALK it back home. Nobody wants to be the guy on the news who got arrested for drunk driving an empty cooler. So stay safe.
Going to college means getting up and motivated for early morning classes, often after a late night of doing what college is really about - homework, right? It’s easy for students to forget to set an alarm, or to select PM instead of AM before passing out, from all that learning. A smart alarm clock can be programmed ahead of time to match their class schedule. On Monday it knows to go off at 7 in the morning, but on Tuesday it lets them sleep it off till 10.