Spaghetti Noodle Measuring Tool
Why is it so hard to judge the correct amount of spaghetti noodles to cook? It’s not like we haven’t done this a million times. For whatever reason, the human mind cannot solve this equation. Luckily there’s no need with this handy tool that can measure standard portions for people and even those who are so hungry they could eat a horse.
This year, when they say they want nothing, make their day by getting them just that. Among this gift’s many wonderful attributes is that it never runs out - so it’s always there, always in the same condition in which you bought it. It also never breaks, can’t be stolen, needs no virtual updates, has no hidden costs or fees, and may or may not be the source of everything (we haven’t yet confirmed). In so many ways, the perfect stocking stuffer is nothing at all.
Drinking coffee is for amateurs: give the gift of intense doses of chewable caffeine. Help them run marathons, finish difficult projects, and—if they eat too many—question if their eye is supposed to be twitching. As a bonus to you, if you ever need to paint your house, get them on board – they can see way more colors than you can now.
This is what you get when you realize your taste in home decor is crap. Or maybe the person you’re buying for is too weird to appreciate it. Whatever the case, sometimes it’s not such a good idea to decorate someone else’s house for them. If you’re feeling a little gun shy, slip this in their stocking and let them pull the trigger themselves.
Know someone who’s had a lot of close calls? Celebrate it with this bullet-embedded shot glass. A strong reminder that you never know which direction the next shitstorm is coming from, and you never know what shape it’s going to take. You might as well live it up now while you can.
Back in the old days you were really rolling the dice when you chose a hotel. Either you called blindly after skimming the phone book or simply drove all night and hoped you saw a vacancy sign before you ran out of gas and got murdered by a vagrant. A hotel gift card is not just a way of picking up the tab for a night’s stay; it’s also the priceless gift of peace of mind.
It used to be the only way to smell like your favorite alcohol was to get so drunk it came out of your pores. Although a few people have probably tried using whiskey as cologne, too. Thank god someone finally came up with a better solution. Beer soap uses real craft beer ingredients to make rich, fragrant soap that not only smells great but nourishes your skin with natural vitamins and nutrients.
They may have achieved elite Girl Scout or Boy Scout status back in high school, but that badge-covered sash won’t be able to save them from a sinking car. Forget cookies — today’s scouts should be peddling these life-saving gadgets instead. Foolproof and dependable, this indispensable car accessory packs a mean punch and won’t disappoint when imminent danger strikes.
We’re not saying you should buy someone a South African Gold Krugerrand for 1300 bucks or whatever it is - though that would be an incredible stocking stuffer, holy crap - just that precious metal coins are fun to have. You can get an American Silver Eagle for like $20, and it’s almost as cool.