Stock Gift Cards
Who knew this was a thing? Say thanks by giving someone an investment portfolio! Pick a stock and a dollar amount, and they get a fractional amount of stock equivalent to what you spent that they can keep or trade or sell for cash as they wish.
It would probably be underwhelming if you just gave someone a few pieces of fruit as a thank you present. But cut the fruit into shapes, skewer them on some sticks, and arrange them to look like a bouquet of flowers? Now that’s a thank you gift!
Here’s what every parent really wants, even if they don’t want to admit it: “One night away from the kids! One night! Just a few hours even! A few minutes would do! Just please, someone, please watch these kids for a while and let me do something for me!” Say thank you by being that someone.
If you decide to do this, go all out. Show up at 5 in the morning dressed impeccably in a tuxedo. Proceed to handle all unpleasantness with quiet grace, never faltering, never betraying any emotion save unswerving loyalty to the person whom it your your honor to serve. Take care of them the way that they think they deserve. Really buttle them good.
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for you to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get someone to mail them to you. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
Flowers are a classic gift, but they’ve got one fatal flaw: no matter how beautiful, they tend to wilt too soon. But you’re smarter than that - you like to play the long game. The Flower of the Month Club lets you automatically replenish those flowers at regular intervals so that there’s always a fresh collection in the recipient’s house. Even if you’re not a hippy, you can always employ a little “flower power” to make someone feel loved and appreciated.
Need something that shows the size of your gratitude? The scale of your appreciation? Giant candy is the way to go. Not only does it say thank you in a big way, it also says thank you in the sweetest way possible, and it gives you the perfect opportunity to return the favor if they need a lift to the dentist to check for cavities in a few months time…
Say thank you by helping them get away and recharge in a faraway place where nobody knows them and they can act however they want with virtually no longstanding social repercussions. Because when things get tough, evacuation is usually the only solution.
Taking them out for a nice dinner is a pretty classic thank you gift, but honestly, they may have had enough of you by now. Get them a gift card to OpenTable and them them go out to the restaurant of their choice, with whoever they actually want to go with.