How to Swear Around the World
Nothing makes you feel more at home in a foreign place than knowing the right way to tell someone to go f*ck himself. Don’t let a traveler you know venture off into the great unknown without arming them first with this essential guidebook. No matter where you end up on this great planet of ours, respect follows those who command the rough outer edges of the language.
Getting moved and set-up in a new place is endlessly expensive. Although it’s not the most creative idea on this page, the most helpful going away gift you can give them is money. Cash is always great but a prepaid Visa card give them the flexibility to use the money online as well.
This sounds more like a gift for you than for them, but it’s something that they will appreciate in a big way. They will probably be feeling a little isolated and lonely in their new town, especially if they’re leaving deep roots behind. It takes a long time to cultivate friendships in a new community, so seeing a familiar face in their new town is likely to make it feel more like home. Plus, you could probably use a vacation, right?
The Customs Officers will be drooling over this strapping passport holder! One stroke of that rich handmade pouch and they’ll be smitten for life. A modern-day world traveler needs to cross global borders with style and clout and this fine accessory commands attention and demands intercontinental respect. Give that special someone a lasting gift that will accompany them on the countless adventures that lie ahead.
Despite its name, this is not a field guide to the best edible roadkill, but a legitimate book about things you’ll want to eat in different places across this wide and beautiful land. Packed full of hidden gems and insider tips, this book is sure to keep them full and satisfied no matter which direction they strike off.
Cleaning every nook and cranny of a house before moving out is an enormous task. The level of cleaning that will take place is likely far beyond anything they did when they actually lived there. That just makes the experience feel even more like a fruitless chore, cleaning for someone else and not even getting to enjoy the tidiness. With a long to-do list before moving, cleaning the old place is something that they would love to cross off without lifting finger. Hire a local cleaning service to take take of this drudgery so they can focus on what’s next.
If they’re relocating to a big city, navigating the public transportation system can be challenging at first, especially if they’re moving from Podunk where they took their car everywhere. Help them get where they need to go like a real local with a prepaid subway or bus pass.
The worst part about moving to a new town is often the actual moving. Since relocating is typically pretty expensive, some people elect to do all their moving themselves in order to save a few bucks. You can offer a helping hand, or rather several helping hands, by hiring professional movers. They do all the heavy lifting, loading and unloading, and can even do the packing and unpacking if you want. It’s a pretty huge going away gift, but it’s one they will truly appreciate in such a stressful time.
When people move away they always say they’ll come back soon for a visit. But weeks stretch into months, and into years, and they don’t show. To be fair, it may not be practical or affordable for them. You can help them cross one excuse off their list by covering the airfare home.