This sounds more like a gift for you than for them, but it’s something that they will appreciate in a big way. They will probably be feeling a little isolated and lonely in their new town, especially if they’re leaving deep roots behind. It takes a long time to cultivate friendships in a new community, so seeing a familiar face in their new town is likely to make it feel more like home. Plus, you could probably use a vacation, right?
So they finally got that dream house in the dream neighborhood and everything is right in the world. Congratulations to them. But how are they going to get that thousand-pound antique grandfather clock into the moving truck? Oh, isn’t that convenient: they thought you were going to carry it. Hand them this instead and give them your best “Well, what are you waiting for?” look.
The streets of one’s hometown are too real to be thought of in two dimensions. This set of wood cutout maps makes these cities come to life. The outline of every block is rendered in painstaking detail by a dedicated artisan, all by hand. The perfect way for them to remember home.
This should keep your loved one’s hands busy while they try to make some new friends and rebuild their social life in that new city of theirs! Throw in a jumbo set of scented markers so they can keep their spirits up while they adjust to living away from home. It’s okay if they color outside the lines—nobody’s perfect, right? Except you, of course, for choosing such a stellar going-away gift!
A visual display of a prolific traveler’s cartographic conquests, this map comes alive as they scratch away each region visited. Modern modes of transport have made the world a very small place. Checking into each sovereign nation on earth is within the realm of possibility for anyone with moderate wealth and an abundance of time. Here’s the wall art to help them prove it.
Is your going-away gift budget topping out at $5 … including taxes? Fear not—this handy-dandy idea is a homerun for the less-than-crafty set. Just raid your parents’, grandparents’ or your own trunk for something called an “atlas.” (A local map once used for scouting yard sales will also work.) Grab your toddler’s scissors or some comparable shears to cut out an accurate shape of the state. Then pull out those five big ones and purchase a simple frame to house your creation. Voilà!
Stop being such a selfish jerk already! When you’re sitting on this amount of dough, the only right thing to do is give it away to someone who’s going away … and hope they’re not stupid enough to use it and be put away … for life! Talk about a hilarious prank for that punk who’s leaving you high and dry in this godforsaken place. Don’t let the spoof drag on for too long, though—they might go and spend the phony loot to buy you a lavish gift and then you’ll be an accessory to the crime!
Do you have a friend with a wandering spirit that often gets them into trouble? Give that gypsy some direction with this classic navigational piece that might teach them a thing or two about geographic points and the Earth’s magnetic field. A gracious nod to the days of ticking pocket watches and prized lockets, this exceptional accessory will accentuate their courageous approach to life and make them an even greater standout in a sea of aimless copycats and frivolous explorers.
There’s a bunch of things they’ll need help with if they’re getting ready to move, and U-Haul has tons of products and services that just might save the day. A gift card can be applied to truck and trailer rentals, self-storage, moving supplies and even hiring a moving crew. It’s a practical going away gift that will elevate some of the stress of moving, so they’ll be free to freak out about something else.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
