The Gift of Scottish Lordship (Laird Or Lady)
By their 50th birthday, a person is probably pretty sure they are not going to ever have a royal title. Like, what are the chances? Now you can blow their mind with the gift of a Scottish Laird or Ladyship decorative title and a real piece of an ancient estate.
By the time a person gets to fifty, they’ve probably experienced at least a few health problems and injuries. But now they’re getting older, these will start to multiply. They’ll need to be afraid. Very afraid. Their only chance is to keep this book with them, like a talisman, and consult it constantly.
Depending on your 50-year-old, this gift might meet with resistance, faux indignation, or secret delight – whichever it is though, we’re sure they’ll be addicted to getting their 10,000 steps by the end of the week. You never know, they might even offer to walk your dog, to get those miles in.
This is the real stuff. You don’t start off drinking 50 year old whisky. No, you buy the cheap stuff, then maybe the fancier stuff, and once in a while the good stuff comes your way. But a liquor that’s aged for 50 years, like a human, is on a whole other level. This has to be earned by living.
At 50, a person may start to think about their place in history. They begin to really contemplate what it means to someday join the long chain of human life that led to them and to their descendants. Help them get started on a journey of self discovery by starting a family tree.
It’s hard to stay active and moving around when you’re chained to a desk with work all day, so consider giving them this Under-Desk Elliptical machine on which they can pedal away all day, working up a sweat and staring at spreadsheets. As a bonus, they’ll look like a duck treading water, with their feet pedaling frantically under the surface.
It’s a sad truth that the older you get, the less you can afford to eat things that have been fried in oil. But fried food tastes great! There is an answer to the problem. Electric Air Fryers cook up crispy fried food without all those calories from oil. Give the gift of taste without guilt.
Don’t say bucket list. Don’t say “while you still can” when making the plans. This is supposed to be fun, not somber. Just plan a trip, somewhere you know they’ve always wanted to go and never had the chance. Make it happen. Have a wonderful time. And do it again and again.
The 50th birthday is probably the last time you can get away with “over the hill” jokes. From here on in, these kinds of jokes will sound more like observations. Take advantage of your last chance to pick on the old guy by putting together a basket of embarrassing senior citizen’s products like prune juice, orthopedic shoe inserts, hemorrhoid cream, Metamucil, Depends diapers, Beano, and reading glasses.