The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Share the gift of inner peace (and maybe prevent a premature coronary) with that twitchy intern or the overworked lifer three doors down who seems to give one too many of these just about every time. A solid laugh and a useful piece – but maybe, just maybe, not the perfect gift for your uptight boss.
Your friend or loved one may have already started to suspect something about the inherent absurd futility of life. If not, then perhaps you can inform them with this gift, which is an extraordinarily apt illustration of the horrifying predicament in which we the living find ourselves. Doing exactly what it says on the package, this box has no purpose other than to instantly turn itself ‘off’ when you try to turn it ‘on’. Despite being useless, we have to admit it does have a certain charm.
Some people say social media has degraded human communication. Why stop at the digital realm? This pair of self-inking Like/Dislike Stamps is perfect for your non-communicative coworker who thinks in status updates.
Be that guy. Use these time-tested techniques to appear smarter in meetings - without even trying! Topics include “how to nod and pace” and “what to do with your face.” This fabulously snarky book is sure to appeal to those who are familiar with the corporate drudgery of relentless, inane meetings.
People get pretty picky about their hot sauces, which probably sounds weird if you’re not a spice-lover yourself. But it’s true – and blending their own would be like Chili Pepper Nirvana. Just be careful at the next office potluck… that’s some next-level sauce and they’re going to promise “oh, it’s not that hot.”
Do you have a friend or coworker who still consults a magic eight ball for important decisions? Well, it’s time for them to grow up. Everyone knows the real wisdom lies in magnets. The sleek design of this modern divining tool is sure to get attention for its looks as well as its results. Give the gift of infallible prediction.
Name one coworker who wouldn’t love this (except Phil, he had a bad fish experience and doesn’t want to talk about it). Literal living art and – bonus – zero maintenance required. This self-contained aquatic ecosystem dumps the downsides to bring only the positives of an aquarium to the table.
Hear ye, Hear ye! Guess who just got promoted…to King Arthur’s Knighted Workers of the Round Table! With Excalibur by their side, they’ll rule the office, command respect at staff meetings and restore order to their cubicle. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to grasp greatness. Will they accept the challenge?
You might call your toes “little piggies,” but the truth is that feet are the real workhorses of the human body. And we tend to be pretty merciless toward them for long stretches of the day, so it’s a nice gesture to show them some love when it’s all over with. And healthy feet make a happy human, so you could try giving a foot hammock to the most unlikeable person you know and see if it brightens them up a bit. Or better yet, give it to someone you like. Trust us, they’ll appreciate it.