Things That Might Kill You
The best (or worst!) gift for hypochondriacs everywhere! For that co-worker who’s always off sick (every workplace has one, and if you think yours doesn’t, it’s probably you), this book is a great gift to fuel their hysteria. It’ll also help them to diagnose much more interesting diseases for the rest of you to hear about. All. Day. Long.
Technically speaking, this is a rubber stamp, but colloquially speaking, using it is the opposite of rubber stamping. It allows the owner to send useless, insulting, and otherwise subpar documents back where they came from with the appropriate level of contempt. Slamming this thing face first into each page in a stack of shitty documents may be the highlight of your coworker’s day.
Transport them to a tropical land where soft sand cushions their overworked feet and salty air tickles their senses. Feel the warm breeze caress the cheek and listen to the gentle waves lapping along the shoreline. Achieve calmness, serenity and purpose inside the confines of the office cubicle. Frolic in the sand and let the stress of work float away.
Help your coworkers escape the stressors of the real world by venturing into the virtual land of, well, whatever some demented programmer came up with. Virtual reality applications are expanding all the time into areas no one ever thought of, and pretty soon everyone is going to want one of these. These VR headsets have come down in price a lot since they were introduced, making them an affordable gift that's out of this world.
Be that guy. Use these time-tested techniques to appear smarter in meetings - without even trying! Topics include “how to nod and pace” and “what to do with your face.” This fabulously snarky book is sure to appeal to those who are familiar with the corporate drudgery of relentless, inane meetings.
Some people say social media has degraded human communication. Why stop at the digital realm? This pair of self-inking Like/Dislike Stamps is perfect for your non-communicative coworker who thinks in status updates.
This horse is an Internet sensation… because you can’t look at this and not laugh. If anyone in your office is into birds, squirrels, or laughing, this is the gift for them. Just look at it. Plus, it’ll keep the critters from hogging the bird feeder. Neigh!
For the gelatinous co-worker who just seems to be drifting along in his own little bubble, but who freaks out when Jenny from accounts accidentally brushes his arm on her way past, make him feel less alone with these mesmerizing friends in a jar!
Hear ye, Hear ye! Guess who just got promoted…to King Arthur’s Knighted Workers of the Round Table! With Excalibur by their side, they’ll rule the office, command respect at staff meetings and restore order to their cubicle. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to grasp greatness. Will they accept the challenge?