Time Before Death Countdown Watch
Birthdays are often seen as a measure of how much time we’ve lost doing things we didn’t really want to, whether it’s being behind a desk or doing the dishes. This countdown watch should inspire your favorite 50 year old to make every second count as they helplessly watch them tick by.
There is a chance they might be underwhelmed when they realize that they themselves will have to cook the dinner(s) you bought for them, but only up until they actually follow along with Blue Apron’s clear easy instructions and eat their delicious, gourmet food. Then they won’t stop thanking you.
This is the old people version of buying them their own pool cue. Like every game of chance, bingo is ruled by the secret and unfathomable rubric of superstition. Using a borrowed dauber is like spitting in the face of the lottery gods. Not a good idea.
Sleeping in space is not as easy as one might think, which is why NASA invented this lightbulb that promotes melatonin production by taking the blue out of the spectrum of light it produces. Help your favorite 50 year-old get a proper night’s sleep with this scientifically proven gift.
If you’ve ever suspected that you can’t trust your tongue, here’s proof. Adding volatile scents to these specialized forks completely changes the experience of eating, as your brain processes much more information through your nose than your tastebuds. Give this as a gift and help them have the weirdest, most surreal dinner parties in the neighborhood.
By the time a person gets to fifty, they’ve probably experienced at least a few health problems and injuries. But now they’re getting older, these will start to multiply. They’ll need to be afraid. Very afraid. Their only chance is to keep this book with them, like a talisman, and consult it constantly.
It’s never too early to spread the love. And with this heart-shaped waffle maker, all they have to do is spread the batter, and all the love symbolism comes popping out by itself, like magic. Alas, these delicious creations are destined to be just as fleeting.
In an ideal world, every home would have its own draft beer on tap. If that’s a gift you can afford, then by all means, please get them a draft beer tap. For the rest of us, there is the next best thing. This beer dispenser uses sound waves and pressure to transform any canned or bottled beer into beer you would swear came fresh from the tap.
People nearing their 50th birthday can often be heard complaining about their feet. It’s just human nature. Something else that is human nature is loving the feel of wool. What if we could combine sore feet with the feel of wool? That would be amazing!