Celebrate the five-year mark with rustic class and earthy elegance. Trace the delicate veins in these handcrafted goblets while you sip a cherished cabernet with your beloved seated by your side. Salute the staying power of your young relationship with a much less breakable alternative to traditional glassware. Replace the resounding “ding!” from that special toast with a more mature, mellow tone that warms the heart.
A cross between the beloved Newlywed Game and the popular ice breaker “20 questions,” this tantalizing quiz game is just what the doctor ordered for the five-year-old couple. Bypass the needless chit-chat that’s clogging the communication channels and open up to a healthy dose of introspective entertainment that’s sure to yield beneficial returns for many years to come. Grab a throw pillow, darling, it’s time to get intimate!
It’s easy to see why old romantic gestures are getting less and less common now in the digital age of social media, it’s quicker to text than it is to phone and more convenient to email than to write. We think that makes a love letter all the more special. We bet there’s not an emoji to capture how delighted they’ll be to receive such a loving and thoughtful gift.
Extend the celebration of your love for weeks, months even, with these personalized devotion vouchers. Your soul mate will revel in the chance to squeeze as much attention out of you as they possibly can—they might even try to double or triple their bounty if the rules allow for it—and you can earn extended reward points for being such a generous partner. Send your sweetheart on a shopping spree through the romance department where expiration dates never apply!
Life is too short for lifeless trinkets that end up collecting years of household dust. It’s time for the two of you to get your groove on and add a dose of bobblehead silliness to the nest. Save the oil couples’ portrait for your 30th anniversary—the five-year target calls for a more endearing, darling rendition of the smitten twosome at one of their favorite locales. Rock on, bobbleheads, rock on!!
They call this the wood anniversary, but if you think that means you can just come home with a stick you found in the forest, it’s going to be a long year. A wooden ring, on the other hand, is more than acceptable. Especially if it’s as stunning and unique as these wooden botanical rings. Each one is painstakingly handcrafted, and as unique as your marriage. A true work of art, it looks just as good in a display case as it does on your hand.
Add some depth to that revered photo of you and your partner in life and love. As close to a hologram that the two of you will probably ever get, this lifelike portrayal communicates your lasting devotion and honors the enduring commitment you made just five short years ago. There’s no need for 3D glasses, and what’s even better, this nostalgic portrait doubles as a slamming paper weight. Purposeful gifts are the best!
With a loaded title like this, you know he’ll be intrigued. A survival guide of basic information he’s much better off hearing from someone else rather than learning the hard way himself, written by someone with over a decade of experience on the inside. Like anything else important in life, marriage is a skill. And time might prove him to be a natural, but do you really want to take a chance on that? Better to make sure he’s equipped with the important fundamentals going forward.
A fitting portrayal of the passion that once burned between you and your beloved, this exquisite piece is guaranteed to stimulate that deep connection once again. You can’t help but feel a little aroused with this amorous creation gracing the bedside table. Send an indisputable message of heart-melting love to the object of your desire and consummate your five-year-old union tonight!
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
