Giant Winking Eye Bag
This thing really only exists to freak people out a little. There’s no point in pretending it serves another purpose. Oh, it also holds stuff in its surprisingly roomy inner compartment, but that’s not why you buy it. You buy it because you want passers-by to look at the person wearing it and say, “What’s with her?” It’s quirky enough to get a few laughs, and disturbing enough to never be forgotten. Dogs especially don’t like it, and we can’t really say we blame them.