Gifts For The Man Who Has Everything

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DIY

We’d put money on the fact that the man who has everything doesn’t have a butler, so treat him, for one day only, and wait on him hand and foot. We think having his dinner cooked for him and not having to worry about the washing up after is a better present than any sum of money could buy.

You have no idea how weird the world is. Yeah, we know, you’ve seen your 400 lb next door neighbor dancing to the Bee Gees in his underwear through the front window at 2 in the morning. Take our word for it: that’s nothing. Anyone with a touch of wanderlust and an appreciation for the bizarre will cherish this book.

No light shines as bright as the light of wisdom. Even better if that wisdom is delivered in weird syntax that makes you stop what you’re doing to figure out what you’re being told. That is, after all, Yoda’s whole schtick. Clever little bastard. This intricately crafted lamp includes one of his best-known motivational slogans — imploring the world, more or less, to “just do it.” Seriously, if you know any over-the-top Star Wars fans, just get this for them. It’s as close to a can’t miss gift as you’ll ever find.

When you were a kid, your mom probably told you not to sit so close to the TV — at least, if you were born way back before parents gave up on that sort of thing. Well, here is the Oculus Go, designed to be the ultimate in sticking it to your parents. It’s also the perfect gift for someone who loves big screen movies but hates sitting next to other people. Pretty much the most immersive personal entertainment system available, designed for people who want to be in the movie, not just watch it.

The squirrels have been playing tricks on us for years, and most of us don’t even know it. In fact, squirrels often go way over the line. From house fires to divorces, they are responsible for untold misery, suffering, and property loss. It’s time we start giving them a taste of their own medicine. Start small. Start here.

If they stuffed some bacon into this box, this would be Ron Swanson’s dream gift. Offering an assortment of classic manly items like booze, old-time hair paste, leather tote bags, and quite the variety of bladed implements, this is a monthly grab bag of masculine goodies tailored to each recipient’s preferences as determined by a pre-delivery personality test. No guessing here — just solid dude gifts based on hard data and great gift-giving instincts.

If you're stuck on a gift idea, don’t overlook the obvious - everyone needs to eat. You could cook for them, or treat them to a fancy restaurant, but why not bring the experience of fine dining into the home? Hiring a professional private chef will make for a unique and memorable evening. Not only do they get to eat amazing food prepared right in their kitchen with their own equipment, they will learn the nuances of culinary excellence from a seasoned expert.

Everything eh? Here’s one thing they probably don’t have. Behold the undisputed King of the Gummy Bears. This 5 pound monstrosity is a gift that will lead to another thing they don’t already have. A week long stomach ache.

So, he’s got everything a man could possibly need but does he have a Plan B for when the sh*t hits the fan? And if Plan B doesn’t work out, has he got his Plan C and D in place? If not, it’s worth getting him a gift that will make sure he’s covered for all eventualities. A man who has everything has nothing if he’s not a man with a plan, after all.

It can feel kind of strange to hand someone a notebook as a present, and be like, “Here, write in this.” But not when said notebook is an intricate and stunning piece of art like this wood-covered journal. Each one has either a natural image (plants, wildlife) or an uplifting message cut into the front cover. The unique and beautiful designs transform these from simple notebooks into works of art that the recipient adds to over time.

Written by James Bond himself (or, you know, an actual real-life spy), this eye-opening book is packed full of genuine, practical tips for self-protection, and is a great present for any loved one or friend. Guaranteed to come in handy during a kidnapping, mugging or zombie apocalypse, you might just save their life one day.

These days, real furniture does double duty. When you see how far telephones have come, it makes you wonder how much more you should be asking from other household items like tables, chairs, TV stands, and so forth. The bottom line is that furniture’s been getting off easy for far too long. Well, this table’s out to change all of that. With a built-in refrigerator drawer, touch screen controls, and laptop/phone charging capabilities, here is a piece of furniture that’ll truly earn the space it occupies.

Nothing makes your luggage stand out against all the other schmucks’ tattered old raggedy bags like a shiny brass luggage tag. The perfect gift for the sophisticated globetrotter who likes to travel in style. Use up to five lines of text to list their name, address, phone number, favorite superhero, spirit animal, most embarrassing moment — whatever they (or you) want to permanently engrave. The most distinguished way to keep the grubby little hands of the unwashed masses off their personal belongings at the airport.

People love venturing into nature for the near mystical experience of being connected with our pre-civilized roots. We feel a strong, implacable pull toward wild places like the desert and the forest. The problem is, nature really just wants to eat you. This book tells you how not to let that happen.

They probably have enough possessions by now to open a museum of their own but buying them a gift that’s worthy of being in an actual museum is sure to go down well. Perfect for the budding paleontologist, or really anyone who’s looking for a low maintenance family pet, this incredibly detailed Tyrannosaurus skeleton is the perfect gift for the man who owns just about everything else.

They can make furniture as complicated as futuristic as they want; there’s a reason this is still the iconic symbol of relaxation. Its primitive-inspired luxury will never get old, nor will its timeless design. Nobody can look at a hammock without feeling the primal urge to jump in and take a long nap. Tropical dreams hide within.

How many times have they said, “I know this town like the back of my hand”? Present them with this accurate jigsaw representation, sit back, and ask them to prove it. Or stoke their nostalgia with a puzzle version of their long-lost birthplace. A great choice for a more personalized gift.

Don’t just give them one piece of art, build them a gallery. We’re not expecting you to go and build an actual gallery complete with gift shop but we think they’ll be just as impressed with this gift. A digital art museum lets them curate a unique art collection and makes the perfect gift for any art enthusiast. They can even upload their own artistic creations if they’re handy with a paintbrush themselves.

For some people, food is so much more satisfying when they make it themselves. But that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t like a little help every once in a while. This electric tomato press, developed in Turin, Italy by kitchen supply manufacturer Tre Spade, makes it easy to make tomato puree. It even separates the puree from the seeds, pulp, and skins. This means they can make authentic pasta sauce out of fresh-from-the-garden tomatoes, but without having to worry about overworking their soft, dainty little hands.

As any connoisseur of nightwear knows, nothing can ruin a good evening like having to climb into an ice cold pair of pajamas. It’s enough to undo all of the day’s hard-won psychological victories. Conversely, a roasty, toasty pair of pajamas is enough to make one feel like the King or Queen of planet Earth, even at the end of a thoroughly difficult or miserable day. Great for home or travel.

Legal in all 50 states, this herb garden smokes the competition! The aroma of fresh herbs will bring serenity and well-being to their home and some much needed flavor to their cooking. Rosemary, thyme, dill, sage, oregano, the options are limitless! Green thumbs not required for this low-maintenance nursery. Sprigs of yummy goodness direct from Mother Nature.

The great conundrum of losing your glasses has always been that you’ve lost the one thing that you need to find the thing you’ve lost. That is, until technology stepped in. Now, through the magic of bluetooth, there’s one more layer of foolproof assistance to undo the errors of human carelessness. That is, until they lose their phone too. At that point, the only answer is super-gluing their belongings to their body. Even idiot-proofing has its limits.

Ever since slushies were invented, they’ve been treated like they’re for kids and kids only. But discrimination is never justified, and the creators of this beer slushy maker are out to prove it. Adults want in on the party too, just in a different way. Specifically the beer way. And this machine takes them directly to Beer Way, right down Delicious Street.

Do you know someone who’s always in search of the perfect hot sauce? Well, maybe the answer is to let them make their own. This kit allows you to experiment with different pepper, spice, and vinegar combinations until you find the holy grail of hotness. No more excuses, just hot pepper perfection.

There are lots of gift basket subscriptions out there, but when it comes to sweet, wholesome fruit, who better to turn to than “The Fruit Company”? With plenty of different combinations to choose from, and quality unlike anything you’re going to find at the grocery store, it’s just like planting a magic tree in the backyard and letting it do its thing. Except even a magic tree doesn’t deliver its fruit wrapped up all nice in a basket, and magic trees never think to include some cheese or jam as a bonus. When you think about it, magic trees are actually kind of lame. A fruit subscription is way better.

Sturdier, more convenient, and easier to handle than traditional kabob skewers. No more forgetting to buy skewers and having to eat raw steak and vegetables or cook with their bare hands. Not every brilliant solution has to be high tech. Some just make a lot of damn sense.

A visual display of a prolific traveler’s cartographic conquests, this map comes alive as they scratch away each region visited. Modern modes of transport have made the world a very small place. Checking into each sovereign nation on earth is within the realm of possibility for anyone with moderate wealth and an abundance of time. Here’s the wall art to help them prove it.

Perhaps in an elaborate joke on us all, Prank-O has managed to create a profitable business selling empty boxes. The boxes aren’t meant to remain empty, however. Prank-O encourages people to “disguise your gift in a stupid box.” So, for example, you have actually bought a very nice gift for a friend, but put it in a box that claims to contain an Earwax Candle Kit, or Bacon Scented Dryer Sheets. Imagine the look on that poor friend’s face when they think you have given them something really ridiculous, stupid and disgusting. And the relief when they realize it’s just a joke.

Replicating bloody warfare between kingdoms, and played by some of the most brilliant minds in the world, chess stands large in the human game-o-sphere. Yet it carries such a small physical footprint. Something had to give. This giant chess set makes its players feel like Roman gods directing the earthly battles of royal dwarves. It also serves as a stunning piece of landscape art, like something straight out of Alice in Wonderland. The last word in life-size board games.

If procrastination is winning the gift shopping battle, you can emerge victorious by running down to your local art, science, or history museum to grab a gift membership. It will seem like something that you put a lot of thought into, finding a gift that enriches their lives, exposes them to new cultures, and all that junk.

Just like you wouldn’t send a samurai into battle with a pocket knife, you shouldn’t let a serious home chef attack his foodstuffs with some dull old blade off the shelves of Walmart. Bob Kramer is a certified Master Bladesmith, and the only one to specialize solely in making kitchen cutlery. In other words, this is a “next level” set of knives, one that any culinary artist would be thrilled to dice their carrots with.

The last thing they need is more stuff, and at the end of it all it’s really the experiences that they will cherish the most. Help them create some new memories to look back on by finding a fun activity to do locally. Be adventurous and choose something they’ve near done before. It’s a gift that will enrich their life and yours too.

One of the things that most people did growing up was play in the kindergarten sandbox with bulldozers, backhoes and the like. So, unless they made a career out of it, we reckon we’ve found a gift that will give them the opportunity to do something they’ve never done before and make their childhood dreams a reality.

Video game arcades in every town may be a thing of the past, but with the 80s revival that’s washed over the western world, demand has spiked again for old-time video games that look like they were designed by an 8-year old and housed in giant man-sized boxes. And for good reason: they’re so much fun that you could lose your entire childhood chasing the high score in Asteroids. Don’t ask how we know that.

Since the invention of the original legos, kids have only been able to imagine what their creations would be like if they were life-sized. But not anymore. Giant legos make it possible to experience the dream of a world composed of lego buildings, lego furniture, and human sized lego robots. And it’s not only kids that are getting in on the action. Giant legos are used to create temporary offices, modular furniture, interior decor, exhibits and retail displays, and a lot more. Except the adults like to call them “modular blocks” to make it sound more grown up. But we all know they’re giant legos.

So much of golf is a guessing game. They have to estimate the wind, take calculated risks to avoid water and sand hazards, and pace their beer consumption appropriately. A laser range finder at least takes club choice out of the equation. It’s also waterproof, which is great for those times when they feel like hurling it into a creek in a fit of rage. Armed with tools like these, it’s only a matter of time before they take the pro tour by storm.

Who doesn’t appreciate a hug every once in a while? It may have never occurred to you, but our feet don’t often get the love they need. Well, someone’s feet are going to be in for a real treat now with this pair of custom insoles. Up til now they’ve probably always been crammed into ready-made factory-produced shoes. It’s no wonder they’re getting so ornery. These custom molded insoles fit like a glove (we’d say “like a sock”, but these are light years better than socks), help prevent injuries, and ease foot fatigue and associated pain.

There are lots of monthly and weekly meal subscriptions to choose from, but not so much for the people who like the meals in between meals the best. Look, grass-fed steak with organic heirloom carrots and Arabian saffron roasted potatoes is great, but some people would genuinely prefer a handful of edamame or a blueberry lemon oat bar instead. We’re not here to judge, and you shouldn’t be either. The Graze monthly snack subscription provides healthy alternatives that allow the recipient to indulge in their love of snacking without paying the junk food tax.

Much like with the mummies of old Egypt, dehydrating food is a very handy way to make it last longer. But you have to do it just right — simply leaving fruit, vegetables, and meat out on the kitchen table is not the answer (as so many people have found out the hard way). Thankfully, the inventors of the electric food dehydrator have done all the learning and thinking for the rest of us, so now all we have to do is load it up and turn a dial. Mmm, beef jerky.

Portable, compact, fast, efficient, and bluetooth enabled, this is simply another step in helping your recipient toward their ultimate goal of gaining full control over the earthly elements. Ice making may not be a cutting edge technology, but we’re continually hampered by the tediousness of the process. Not to mention, everyone knows that cubes are for the unwashed heathens. A nugget ice maker that performs quickly and on-demand may seem like a simple gift, but it is a large step indeed for our collective evolution.

For all of the earth’s majestic wonders, nowhere will you find a geyser that spits melted chocolate. That’s why fountains were invented. This one may not have the impressive horsepower of Old Faithful, but what comes out of it tastes a whole lot better than sulfurous water. A chocolate fountain, in fact, can even transform the dull bounty of the earth (vegetables, we’re looking at you) into something that people will get excited about eating.

If they have everything, they surely already own plenty of gadgets and thingamajigs. Some of them may even be possessions that they treasure. But nothing is as cherished as the most important thing they have - their family. Help them celebrate the one thing that truly matters with this sculptural family tree. Now they have everything.

It’s probably hard to imagine what the future holds when they already have everything they could possibly want. We think that makes this gift a little bit more fun. You can choose to write whatever you want inside these tasty little treats, but don’t tell him they were custom printed to specifically apply to his life. Tell him these are authentic Chinese fortune cookies, which are much wiser than the ones we have here.

We all yearn for a greater connection to the cosmos. But it can sure feel lonely down here when you don’t even know the names of any of the celestial bodies you’re squinting up at. This handheld planetarium is adjustable based on the date, time, and latitude of the user, giving them a clear and accurate map of thousands of stars and dozens of constellations. Perfect for planning their first interstellar vacation once Tesla makes personal spaceships affordable for everyone.

Let’s face it, they’re going to learn this stuff anyway. You may as well make sure they learn it right, and some of the things in this book are better not learned the hard way. For example, it may be best to beat that lie detector test the first time around. Plus, it’s a gift for you too – after all, who knows when you might need someone who knows how to crack a safe?

The old-fashioned wooden whiskey barrel has become a symbol of class and refinement. Big change from the old days when having one of these in your basement meant the feds might crash in any day and haul you off to prison for moonshining. There’s nothing like tasting the sweet fruit of your own labors, and these handmade barrels allow the owner to age spirits to their exact specifications. Now, even bottom-shelf bathtub whiskey can be turned into dusky gold in a few weeks time.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to learn from the best in the world? This is the idea behind MasterClass. A wide range of courses designed and taught by some of the most famous, renowned, and respected luminaries in fields as diverse as cooking, guitar playing, negotiation (hostage or otherwise), fiction writing, film making, and gardening, just to name a few. You can give a single class as a gift or a subscription for all of them.

They might have it all, but that’s no reason to get a big head. Or is it? Maybe it’s the perfect time for a big head, and maybe you should be the one to give it to them. Just upload a few photos and your loved one will be immortalized in the goofiest way possible.

DIY

Take a trip down memory lane with a nostalgic box full of their favorite things from years gone by with this kind-hearted gift. He might own a lot of things now, but we’d put good money on there being some things that he misses from his childhood.

You may think a battery is a battery, but oh Lordy! would you be wrong. Most batteries suffer from a host of fatal flaws: they’re single use, too often unreliable, and frequently inhabited by evil spirits, just to name a few. Eneloop, on the other hand, has fully cracked the battery code. These are the Cadillacs of the rechargeable battery world. The standard Eneloop is a badass little powerpack in its own right, but the Eneloop Pro is where the real party is at, offering a high capacity battery that can be recharged up to 2,100 times. Now that’s a sweet little hot dog.

Having everything doesn’t mean it’s time to sit back and rest on your laurels. It means it’s time to give back. After all, there are a lot of people out there who have next to nothing. A charity gift card is a gift that actually makes the world a better place, and it will make the recipient feel good too. That’s something you can never have enough of. Just choose an amount for the donation and the recipient chooses where the money will go.

If Mother Nature had any sense she would have made vegetables look like candy. Luckily, science is at a point where engineers can make food look like whatever they want it to look like. And as long as they're fiddling with Mother Nature's designs, why not play along at home? If your dinner routine is getting a bit bland, perhaps it's due to the very ordinary color of your vegetables. Some purple carrots and striped tomatoes ought to liven things up.

Kitchen gadgets like this potato peeler make great gifts since they're the type of thing that people won't normally justify buying for themselves, even though it would be super useful and sorta fun. So they they peel away manually like some sort of dungeon dwelling prisoner. With this hands-free electric peeler they'll be looking for excuses to peel potatoes, apples, cucumbers, eggplants, limes, kiwis and anything else they decide to put in there. Get creative, there's more than one way to skin a cat.

It’s a little surprising that dash cams don’t come standard with all cars, because they’re quite useful. With one of these, they can record accidents, prevent insurance fraud, report weirdos, and publicly ridicule people’s vanity plates. And last but not least, they can even record every last inch of their road trip and mine the footage for Instagram posts. Because above all, the world must see where they’ve been.

The man who has everything is typically one of the hardest people to buy presents for but we think we’ve got it wrapped up here. Not only does he get one of the finest dining experiences in town, he also gets the satisfaction of not having to do the dishes. We bet you won’t find a man that won’t love everything about this gift idea.

They might already have everything the need today, but that could change quickly if they become the unfortunate victim of cyber-theft. RFID chips in modern credit cards make paying easy, but they also have a serious vulnerability - the chip can be scanned by cyber criminals without you even knowing it. All they have to do is walk past you and your card data is captured without them even touching it. It’s a growing concern but luckily there’s an easy solution with RFID blocking cards and wallets.

If you don’t think he’ll appreciate more gifts to go on top of the huge pile of everything he already owns, why not make a donation in his name? It’s a great opportunity to help people who aren’t quite as fortunate and he doesn’t even have to part way with his precious pile of possessions to raise money either…even if he could do with a yard sale or two.

Turn any room into a game room without ruining the elegant vibe they’ve worked so hard to cultivate. Foosball is a game of the people, making the great sport of soccer accessible to everyone, even the tragically out-of-shape and terminally uncoordinated. And old school tabletop games like foosball give people a real world gathering place, so they can get off the damn interwebs for a while and learn how to engage in face-to-face communication. It’ll be awkward at first, but they’ll get used to it. Speaking of which, this table makes a great conversation piece.

The DJI Osmo Pocket takes handheld personal videos to a whole new level. Sure, smartphones have always included video capabilities. But in case you haven’t noticed, the videos are so terrible as to be basically unusable. The Osmo Pocket’s main feature is its revolutionary stabilizing system, which allows even the clumsiest, shakiest, or drunkest person to create professional-quality videos. The only drawback? Whoever you buy this for is definitely going to think they’re Steven Freaking Spielberg, so get ready.

Stress reduction is damn near the holy grail of happiness and health. But let’s face it — the world seems hellbent on keeping everyone’s cortisol at a solid 9 out of 10 just about every waking moment. And with the constant barrage of advertising, social media alerts, emails, text messages, work-related fire drills, “Mom/Dad I’m hungry,” actual fire drills, natural disasters, news stories about nuclear missiles and global warming, inconsiderate/psychotic neighbors…All we’re saying is, everyone needs an impenetrable fortress of calm to retreat to every once in a while.

The ultimate college food staple, also ideal for survivalists who want to go out in style. With individually wrapped noodle and cheese powder packets, this is about as imperishable a food item as you’re going to find this side of the Twinkie aisle. And the per-meal price of this gourmet dinner kit is absurdly low, especially for something that literally nobody has ever gotten sick of eating. Mac & cheese is the ultimate blank flavor slate, allowing the lucky food hoarder to create variety by adding in a few hot dogs, frozen vegetables — heck, why not dump in that stray bag of skittles. YOLO.

To be an effective steward of the kitchen, one needs a strong organization system — a system that makes storage, operation, and cleaning super easy. Otherwise, food prep efforts are liable to become a shit storm of fruit peels, vegetable parts, and other victual detritus. The Prep Deck is a fully integrated meal prep station, complete with all the storage container and prep accessories needed to help even the most disorganized cook stay on the straight and narrow.

Some day soon, we’ll all have portable movie projectors installed in our fingertips. Until then, you have to carry one of these in your pocket. Not too bad of an option, considering that this tiny box gives whoever holds it the power to turn any plain old wall into a high-quality theater screen. Just dim the lights, push a button, and project virtually any movie known to man via Netflix, YouTube, or Amazon Prime Video. A convenient and powerful way to keep the masses in one’s thrall.

When was the last time you were truly challenged by your nuts? That’s the idea behind the Death Nuts line of super spicy peanuts for crazy people. This isn’t a “sit in front of the TV and relax” brand of nuts. This is the “Oh God, what was I thinking, why do I make so many bad choices” peanut. The culinary equivalent of self-flagellation. Except taking the Death Nut Challenge doesn’t earn you any points with God. Just a good hour of blinding pain that you didn’t even know was possible.

There are very few authentic Viking activities that are acceptable in modern society. So for the most part, we have to take what we can get. Drinking from a real, ethically harvested Viking-style bull horn drinking vessel is one of those acceptable activities. And drinking from a Viking horn vessel is more than just acceptable — it’s a recognized sign of strength, power, and valor. And in some cases, perhaps mild psychotic tendencies. But nothing society isn’t set up to handle.

There’s nothing better than when someone goes and solves a problem you didn’t know you had, without even being asked. Such is the case with this pocket knife style key organizer. Among the benefits afforded by this ingenious device are increased pocked comfort, improved aesthetics, and the ability to slip into one’s house soundlessly, like a thief. It’s really superior to the old-style keychain in every conceivable way. With this ultra-durable and lightweight key organizer made of aircraft aluminum, they’ll be soaring high on the winds of convenience and comfort.

As you’re probably aware, life has the ability to present far more than 100 unique deadly situations. However, for anyone looking to become death-proof, these 100 skills are the perfect place to start. This Navy SEAL penned survival guide offers up the most essential tricks and techniques to foil the grim reaper and his various earthly minions wherever and however they may haunt the reader. From battle-tested death maneuvers to everyday survival and evasion strategies, this book has what it takes to take any average Joe or Jane from “dead meat” to Badass Street.

Time to get rid of human error when it comes to food. After all, food is the only thing you buy that literally becomes you. We’re not sure if this robot chef will throw things around the kitchen and speak condescendingly of the people eating its food, but it can probably be programmed that way if it makes the owner more comfortable.

If you’re stuck looking for a gift that’s really going to stand out among all the other things that he owns, why not give him some great memories to keep instead? Event tickets make a fantastic present for any person you know who doesn’t need to be encouraged to accumulate even more thingamabobs, whatchamacallums or just, well, junk.

What’s the point of moving or traveling if you’re going to do the same things you’ve always done when you get there? Give this anywhere travel guide to someone who’s going away and needs some ideas on how to battle boredom. Cards feature prompts that suggest activities they probably wouldn’t think of if left to their own devices.

If the last thing they need is another “thing”, then the best possible gift is to take a trip together. Whether it’s a short day-trip to the beach, a weekend in Vegas, or a vacation overseas, travel creates memories that will last forever, long after their gizmos have become obsolete, their doodads have broken down, and their whatchamacallums have faded into obscurity.

Happy couple decides to go on vacation, finds quaint lodging belonging to complete stranger for a price that seems too good to be true. In the movies, they get hacked to pieces. So here’s one way you can be happy that real life never ends up like the movies. In real life, they just have a great time and never stay in a hotel again.