Classroom First Aid Kit
This could read as “be careful with my child.” But anyone who has ever observed a roomful of kids knows that it’s only a matter of time before the most insane and absurd accident imaginable actually happens. That’s why it’s nice to have the tools to put people back together quickly.
Teachers are famous for taking their work home with them. Give them a much needed break by getting them tickets to a concert, play, comedy show, or other event where they get to kick back and be the audience for once. After all, they’ve been dealing with your kids every day. You know what that’s like.
Back in the good old days, a “classroom management tool” would have been nothing more than a wooden yardstick. The one the teacher used to hit kids who fell asleep, tried to wander off, or said something stupid. It seemed to work pretty well, but after a while they decided everyone should be nicer. So someone invented this idea, where teachers can keep track of kids with pieces of paper and other symbols instead of brute force. It seems to be working fine too.
Not only convenient, but environmentally responsible as well. Made to last up to five times as long as a standard notebook due to its microwave-to-erase feature. Also, scan and beam pages of notes to the cloud with a specially designed app. Saves money, cuts down on clutter, and gives them a touch of futuristic cool.
Teacher’s unions are under siege across the country, and wages are the big issue. Nobody’s going to expect you to personally bail out your favorite teacher, but why not take a stab at inflating their bank account through the most culturally-accepted form of gambling? Everyone needs a little hope.
Teachers sacrifice more and put up with more B.S. on a daily basis than many people realize, all in order to follow their calling. These custom wine labels allow you to make reparations for all of the pain and suffering you may have unintentionally caused with your spawn. In the end, teachers gladly bear the burden of dealing with all the little monsters who have yet to develop impulse control. Still, a little acknowledgement is always nice.
Through blessed instruments flow blessed works. Everything else is mostly crap. Nobility is at the fingertips of anyone whose instrument finds its repose in these knightly hands. Your favorite teacher toils in a thankless art much of the time; show them you understand the gravity of their contribution by putting this timeless figure at their service.
Caricatures are great gifts because they blend the ego gratification of seeing yourself drawn in huge proportions with the subtle humiliation of having your most prominent features emphasized to the point of absurdity. What else lets you show your appreciation while obviously making fun of someone?
Teachers may only work nine months a year, but they sure are busy while they’re at it. Just ask one sometime. The best thing you can do to keep them from going insane and taking it out on your kids is to volunteer your time and energy in some way that makes their life easier. Chaperone a field trip, offer to help grade papers — offer yourself up in any way that sounds legal and ethical. After all, just because you’re too old to be a student doesn’t mean you can’t still earn points as a brown-noser.