Class Fingerprint Tree
This may sound like a sly ploy by the NSA to get everybody on the grid, but it’s really just a cute artistic gesture symbolizing the diverse and far-reaching influence a single person can have through dedicated effort. Stop being so paranoid.
Not only convenient, but environmentally responsible as well. Made to last up to five times as long as a standard notebook due to its microwave-to-erase feature. Also, scan and beam pages of notes to the cloud with a specially designed app. Saves money, cuts down on clutter, and gives them a touch of futuristic cool.
Nobody’s name is as synonymous with human genius as Albert Einstein’s. But can you describe any of his scientific breakthroughs? No. You just know he had crazy hair. That’s alright, not everyone was born to be a world-class physicist. But anyone can laugh at this great piece of desk art.
Teachers, along with parents, set the course for the future, and a good one can make all the difference. The aphorism on this card was a much more poetic person’s way of saying, “I may be a giant pain in your ass now, but boy, wait a few years and I’m going to be awesome. Thanks for that.”
Teachers are famous for taking their work home with them. Give them a much needed break by getting them tickets to a concert, play, comedy show, or other event where they get to kick back and be the audience for once. After all, they’ve been dealing with your kids every day. You know what that’s like.
In the natural world, flowers are renowned for their vibrancy and visual diversity. But in the human world, green will always be the primary color. Such is convention that a handful of wadded bills may be considered insulting. Deliver them in the form of roses and everyone is happy.
It’s no secret that teaching is about the future, about helping kids become the best version of themselves. But sometimes it’s nice to step into the past too. Give them something to remind them of the time they spent molding these innocent young minds like so much human clay.
Caricatures are great gifts because they blend the ego gratification of seeing yourself drawn in huge proportions with the subtle humiliation of having your most prominent features emphasized to the point of absurdity. What else lets you show your appreciation while obviously making fun of someone?
You can tell someone something important once, but let’s be real: people lead busy lives. They’re going to go home and find that they’re dog crapped on the carpet, and they’ll forget what you said forever. Put it into a piece of art, on the other hand, and they’ll think of it every time they walk by.