This may sound like a sly ploy by the NSA to get everybody on the grid, but it’s really just a cute artistic gesture symbolizing the diverse and far-reaching influence a single person can have through dedicated effort. Stop being so paranoid.
Teacher’s unions are under siege across the country, and wages are the big issue. Nobody’s going to expect you to personally bail out your favorite teacher, but why not take a stab at inflating their bank account through the most culturally-accepted form of gambling? Everyone needs a little hope.
It’s no secret that teaching is about the future, about helping kids become the best version of themselves. But sometimes it’s nice to step into the past too. Give them something to remind them of the time they spent molding these innocent young minds like so much human clay.
Otto’s just about guaranteed to be the cutest thing on any desk he happens to land on. He’s also got some serious core strength to maintain that half-situp position all day. Add some personality and warmth to your favorite teacher’s everyday surroundings.
Not only convenient, but environmentally responsible as well. Made to last up to five times as long as a standard notebook due to its microwave-to-erase feature. Also, scan and beam pages of notes to the cloud with a specially designed app. Saves money, cuts down on clutter, and gives them a touch of futuristic cool.
Back in the good old days, a “classroom management tool” would have been nothing more than a wooden yardstick. The one the teacher used to hit kids who fell asleep, tried to wander off, or said something stupid. It seemed to work pretty well, but after a while they decided everyone should be nicer. So someone invented this idea, where teachers can keep track of kids with pieces of paper and other symbols instead of brute force. It seems to be working fine too.
This could read as “be careful with my child.” But anyone who has ever observed a roomful of kids knows that it’s only a matter of time before the most insane and absurd accident imaginable actually happens. That’s why it’s nice to have the tools to put people back together quickly.
In the natural world, flowers are renowned for their vibrancy and visual diversity. But in the human world, green will always be the primary color. Such is convention that a handful of wadded bills may be considered insulting. Deliver them in the form of roses and everyone is happy.
Teachers are famous for taking their work home with them. Give them a much needed break by getting them tickets to a concert, play, comedy show, or other event where they get to kick back and be the audience for once. After all, they’ve been dealing with your kids every day. You know what that’s like.