Cruel Fake Money Joke
Stop being such a selfish jerk already! When you’re sitting on this amount of dough, the only right thing to do is give it away to someone who’s going away … and hope they’re not stupid enough to use it and be put away … for life! Talk about a hilarious prank for that punk who’s leaving you high and dry in this godforsaken place. Don’t let the spoof drag on for too long, though—they might go and spend the phony loot to buy you a lavish gift and then you’ll be an accessory to the crime!
There’s a bunch of things they’ll need help with if they’re getting ready to move, and U-Haul has tons of products and services that just might save the day. A gift card can be applied to truck and trailer rentals, self-storage, moving supplies and even hiring a moving crew. It’s a practical going away gift that will elevate some of the stress of moving, so they’ll be free to freak out about something else.
This is the lazy man’s rosetta stone. Learning is difficult, and fortunately unnecessary as long as someone else is willing to come up with clever ideas like this. If they ever find themselves overseas and looking for something that’s not on this shirt, they might want to reevaluate what they’re asking for.
This should keep your loved one’s hands busy while they try to make some new friends and rebuild their social life in that new city of theirs! Throw in a jumbo set of scented markers so they can keep their spirits up while they adjust to living away from home. It’s okay if they color outside the lines—nobody’s perfect, right? Except you, of course, for choosing such a stellar going-away gift!
If they’re moving from one region of the country to another, half of their wardrobe may become pretty useless. Those tank tops and swimsuits were perfect for Florida weather, but not so much for Wisconsin. Get them some new threads that will be more appropriate for their new environment so they’ll be a little less like a fish out of water.
If you really want to make an authentic product, get out that Members Only jacket, don some vintage Walkman headphones and pretend you have some really cool parachute pants on—this going-away compilation is going to be off the charts! Come up with a wicked awesome name for your retro mix … something along the lines of “Bitchin’ Bon Voyage Bonus Mix Tape!” and remember to give proper credit to the artists. Upload the magic to that righteous thumb drive and you’ve got a gift that’s totally tubular, Dude!
We’re all Americans, but those regional variations are what make the United States such an incredible place to call home. With fifty unique shapes to choose from, these charming pendants give props to local geography and may test a few admirers on their state-guessing skills. Going away doesn’t have to mean trading in your hometown personality or homegrown accent. Show pride in your roots and never forget where you came from.
What’s the point of moving or traveling if you’re going to do the same things you’ve always done when you get there? Give this anywhere travel guide to someone who’s going away and needs some ideas on how to battle boredom. Cards feature prompts that suggest activities they probably wouldn’t think of if left to their own devices.
Leaving home isn’t always a walk in the park. Give that departing loved one this decorative street sign along with a few bonus safety tips: Remember to be courteous to others and mind the rules of the road, especially when visiting new and unfamiliar places. Try to avoid any dangerous potholes along the way. Keep your eyes on the road as you drive off into the sunset, and don’t get distracted by what’s in the rearview mirror. Yield to oncoming traffic as you cruise down the boulevard of dreams and remember to use your directional if you have to make a U-turn and start over. Good luck and always wear your seatbelt!