Cruel Fake Money Joke
Stop being such a selfish jerk already! When you’re sitting on this amount of dough, the only right thing to do is give it away to someone who’s going away … and hope they’re not stupid enough to use it and be put away … for life! Talk about a hilarious prank for that punk who’s leaving you high and dry in this godforsaken place. Don’t let the spoof drag on for too long, though—they might go and spend the phony loot to buy you a lavish gift and then you’ll be an accessory to the crime!
Many people, when faced with new surroundings, forget to eat and end up perishing from malnourishment. This is a leading cause of death among travelers and those who have recently moved. A gift card at a great restaurant not only reminds them of the paramount importance of calorie ingestion, but even pays for some of it.
When people move away they always say they’ll come back soon for a visit. But weeks stretch into months, and into years, and they don’t show. To be fair, it may not be practical or affordable for them. You can help them cross one excuse off their list by covering the airfare home.
Each city has its own stories, food, entertainment, landmarks, and vengeful spirits. Help them settle in by experiencing these things firsthand under the guidance of an informed expert. No matter how far away their new home may be, they’ll be a grizzled and knowledgeable old local by night’s end.
Treat that special someone to a night of unbridled fun and mildly sinful exploits. Give those screaming bachelorette partygoers a run for their money and don’t head home until you spot a few ladies of the night. This final outing has got to break some records and brand a few amazing memories onto their brain before fleeing the scene of the crime and trading in this life for another more exciting undertaking. Pack a few party favors for the crew as well as a reliable, fully charged device to document the evening. Break-a-dawn, baby!
If they’re moving from one region of the country to another, half of their wardrobe may become pretty useless. Those tank tops and swimsuits were perfect for Florida weather, but not so much for Wisconsin. Get them some new threads that will be more appropriate for their new environment so they’ll be a little less like a fish out of water.
We’re all Americans, but those regional variations are what make the United States such an incredible place to call home. With fifty unique shapes to choose from, these charming pendants give props to local geography and may test a few admirers on their state-guessing skills. Going away doesn’t have to mean trading in your hometown personality or homegrown accent. Show pride in your roots and never forget where you came from.
This should keep your loved one’s hands busy while they try to make some new friends and rebuild their social life in that new city of theirs! Throw in a jumbo set of scented markers so they can keep their spirits up while they adjust to living away from home. It’s okay if they color outside the lines—nobody’s perfect, right? Except you, of course, for choosing such a stellar going-away gift!
The worst part about moving to a new town is often the actual moving. Since relocating is typically pretty expensive, some people elect to do all their moving themselves in order to save a few bucks. You can offer a helping hand, or rather several helping hands, by hiring professional movers. They do all the heavy lifting, loading and unloading, and can even do the packing and unpacking if you want. It’s a pretty huge going away gift, but it’s one they will truly appreciate in such a stressful time.