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Pay for a Moving Company

The worst part about moving to a new town is often the actual moving. Since relocating is typically pretty expensive, some people elect to do all their moving themselves in order to save a few bucks. You can offer a helping hand, or rather several helping hands, by hiring professional movers. They do all the heavy lifting, loading and unloading, and can even do the packing and unpacking if you want. It’s a pretty huge going away gift, but it’s one they will truly appreciate in such a stressful time.

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going away gift new clothes
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New Clothes For New Climate

If they’re moving from one region of the country to another, half of their wardrobe may become pretty useless. Those tank tops and swimsuits were perfect for Florida weather, but not so much for Wisconsin. Get them some new threads that will be more appropriate for their new environment so they’ll be a little less like a fish out of water.

scratch off world map - gift idea
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Scratch Off World Map

A visual display of a prolific traveler’s cartographic conquests, this map comes alive as they scratch away each region visited. Modern modes of transport have made the world a very small place. Checking into each sovereign nation on earth is within the realm of possibility for anyone with moderate wealth and an abundance of time. Here’s the wall art to help them prove it.

Swear Around World White Elephant Gift
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How to Swear Around the World

Nothing makes you feel more at home in a foreign place than knowing the right way to tell someone to go f*ck himself. Don’t let a traveler you know venture off into the great unknown without arming them first with this essential guidebook. No matter where you end up on this great planet of ours, respect follows those who command the rough outer edges of the language.

Southwest Airlines Gift Card 2
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Make It Easy To Return Home

When people move away they always say they’ll come back soon for a visit. But weeks stretch into months, and into years, and they don’t show. To be fair, it may not be practical or affordable for them. You can help them cross one excuse off their list by covering the airfare home.

friendship mug going away gift 2
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Heartfelt Friendship Mug

Having a best friend to rely on is one of life’s warmest comforts. Right on its heels is a cup of hot coffee. So go ahead and combine the two for someone who’s going away, lest they forget all about you. People have short attention spans these days, you know.

going away gifts uhaul truck rental
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U-Haul Gift Card

There’s a bunch of things they’ll need help with if they’re getting ready to move, and U-Haul has tons of products and services that just might save the day. A gift card can be applied to truck and trailer rentals, self-storage, moving supplies and even hiring a moving crew. It’s a practical going away gift that will elevate some of the stress of moving, so they’ll be free to freak out about something else.

homesick candles gift ideas
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Homesick Candles Smell Like Their Home State

These candles are formulated to smell like your home state. Good thing nobody told them that when you’re home all you really smell is burned turkey and your brother-in-law’s beer farts. This is more like the idealized version of your home smell, the kind of false memory someone wants to take with them when they leave.

realistic fake money gift
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Cruel Fake Money Joke

Stop being such a selfish jerk already! When you’re sitting on this amount of dough, the only right thing to do is give it away to someone who’s going away … and hope they’re not stupid enough to use it and be put away … for life! Talk about a hilarious prank for that punk who’s leaving you high and dry in this godforsaken place. Don’t let the spoof drag on for too long, though—they might go and spend the phony loot to buy you a lavish gift and then you’ll be an accessory to the crime!

Popular Gifts

Adjustable Standing DeskAdjustable Standing Desk 2
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Adjustable Standing Desk

Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.

Second Screen For LaptopSecond Screen For Laptop 2
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Second Screen For Laptop

The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.

Interactive Personal Trainer MirrorInteractive Personal Trainer Mirror 2
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Interactive Personal Trainer Mirror

They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.

Gordan Ramsay Cooking ClassGordan Ramsay Cooking Class 2
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Virtual Cooking Classes With Gordon Ramsay

A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?

Hug Sleep Swaddle Blanket Shark Tank 4
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Sleep Pod

Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.

Gift Ideas Whole Bottle Wine GlassGift Ideas Whole Bottle Wine Glass 2
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Whole Bottle Wine Glass

In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.

Phonesoap Gift
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Phone Sanitizer and Charger

Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!

Inflatable Heated Whirlpool Spa Gift
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Inflatable Heated Whirlpool Spa

So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.