Custom Voodoo Dolls
Oh no, you didn’t. You bet your voodoo doll we did! It’s time to release those pent-up thoughts and feelings of frustration that are clogging your mind so you can achieve clarity at work. Not only is it healthy to project your angst onto an inanimate object, but it’s extremely entertaining! Let go of what’s bogging you down and play a little. Dabble in the dark side and clear the air at work. You might be surprised at the results!
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Name one coworker who wouldn’t love this (except Phil, he had a bad fish experience and doesn’t want to talk about it). Literal living art and – bonus – zero maintenance required. This self-contained aquatic ecosystem dumps the downsides to bring only the positives of an aquarium to the table.
Be that guy. Use these time-tested techniques to appear smarter in meetings - without even trying! Topics include “how to nod and pace” and “what to do with your face.” This fabulously snarky book is sure to appeal to those who are familiar with the corporate drudgery of relentless, inane meetings.
Technically speaking, this is a rubber stamp, but colloquially speaking, using it is the opposite of rubber stamping. It allows the owner to send useless, insulting, and otherwise subpar documents back where they came from with the appropriate level of contempt. Slamming this thing face first into each page in a stack of shitty documents may be the highlight of your coworker’s day.
Everyone loves a gift that keeps on giving. Not only is this treasure trove a conversation starter, it’s perfect for re-gifting! Pass it around the office for all those special occasions and pay the rewards forward. The luck never runs out on this winner. Everyone needs a diversion at work and maybe, just maybe today’s your lucky day!
Do you have a friend or coworker who still consults a magic eight ball for important decisions? Well, it’s time for them to grow up. Everyone knows the real wisdom lies in magnets. The sleek design of this modern divining tool is sure to get attention for its looks as well as its results. Give the gift of infallible prediction.
For the ultimate clock watcher, this stylish desk accessory is a fantastic way for your co-worker to count down the minutes left at work, hours left in the day, days left in the year, and years left before the sweet release of retirement, and that new life in the Bahamas.Or days spent pottering around the local garden center and shouting indignantly at daytime television.
We all have that messy colleague who literally doesn’t have a spare inch on their desk (unless you count that bit that’s covered in unidentified sticky brown stuff). For this co-worker, no gift is more appreciated than the under-table water bottle hanger. A quirky space-saving solution that will keep their precious H2O safe from the chaos above!
Nothing is more important to company productivity than morale. And nothing raises morale better than acknowledging the real triumphs and heroics that make up the everyday life of an indentured office servant. There are no dragons to slay in the corporate world. The real battles are fought in small, desperate spaces like the sterile, suffocating environs of the meeting room. These things should not go unsaid.