Giant Yard Games
Now they’re nearing fifty, their eyesight might be going a bit, and they might be slowing down – but they’re still a big kid at heart. This giant yard game will be easy for them to see, even without their glasses, and is a fun way to keep fit and active. Plus, it looks great – the height of landscape design.
By their 50th birthday, a person is probably pretty sure they are not going to ever have a royal title. Like, what are the chances? Now you can blow their mind with the gift of a Scottish Laird or Ladyship decorative title and a real piece of an ancient estate.
This doesn’t have to be awkward. Yes, you are giving someone, as a 50th birthday gift, something they will use for pooping. It’s OK. Then someday you’ll say, “Hey, you, uh, you ever use that Squatty Potty?” They’ll look horrified for a half a second, but then they’ll crack a quick smile and say, “Yeah, actually. It’s great. Thanks.” Then you never speak of it again.
If you’ve used a heating blanket, you know how you’re stuck sitting or lying down, and how hard it can be to get it on the right spot. Here’s a 50th birthday gift idea that solves all that. The heat wrap covers neck and shoulders while allowing full freedom of blissful movement.
In our opinion, while the fact that this is a custom one-of-a-kind portrait of a person’s DNA sequence is very cool, it is not the best reason to buy this for someone’s 50th birthday. After all, if it were ugly, we would never recommend it at all. But it is not ugly. It’s quite beautiful, actually. And that is best reason to buy it.
Okay, so they can’t really tell anybody when they’re going to die. But they can measure cell aging based on things you’ve probably never heard of and don’t need to know about. A vital new way to measure health and lifestyle-related longevity. Much more reliable than that palm reader at the state fair.
By the time a person gets to fifty, they’ve probably experienced at least a few health problems and injuries. But now they’re getting older, these will start to multiply. They’ll need to be afraid. Very afraid. Their only chance is to keep this book with them, like a talisman, and consult it constantly.
Get started on that Bucket List while there’s time and health to finish it by writing everything on special tags and storing them in an actual bucket. Then pick an adventure whenever life permits. There’s so much to do and look forward to doing! Get to work on it!
The 50th birthday is probably the last time you can get away with “over the hill” jokes. From here on in, these kinds of jokes will sound more like observations. Take advantage of your last chance to pick on the old guy by putting together a basket of embarrassing senior citizen’s products like prune juice, orthopedic shoe inserts, hemorrhoid cream, Metamucil, Depends diapers, Beano, and reading glasses.