There is no greater symbol of no-frills comfort than the classic hammock. They’re too old now to be confined to the standard furniture used by the sheeple who still wake up every morning to go to work. This retirement gift is the epitome of primal luxury.
Day to day life can get a little lonely for some retirees who are used to interacting with lots of people in the workplace. Why not give them a new friend to talk to? Alexa will never grow tired of their conversations and is always willing to endure their pointless anecdotes.
If you know someone retiring with 30 or more years of service to the federal government, civilian or military, perhaps a letter from a President of the United States is in order. Have their favorite leader commemorate their retirement with this one of a kind gift.
They put a lot of work, not to mention their heart and soul, into making a vision come true. Show them that someone else noticed with a professionally-made video biography narrating the highlights of their career. A nice final ego kick as they make the transition into old people world.
Retirement is all about finding a new perspective. After many decades of being earthbound, everything probably looks about the same from down here. A helicopter ride gives you a unique viewpoint, both above and up-close, letting you see things the way few people get to see them. It’s probably the closest they’ll ever get to being a superhero.
Give the gift of beauty with a piece of original artwork from Artsy. These are not prints. This is the real thing, suitable for mature adults with refined tastes, like a retired person is supposed to have. Of course, some of the stuff here maybe isn’t all that refined, but at least it is original.
Whatever colors they wore in their younger, more spry years, you can bet they wore them with pride. But god knows they’re not going to fit into that uniform anymore. And even if they did manage to force their old carcass into those youthful dimensions, it would probably only make everyone a little worried for their mental health. But turn it into an everyday use item like a tote bag, and they’ll look stylish as all get-out.
Make them feel better about their slow slide into dementia with this compilation of some of the funniest mental lapses in history. They might not remember to thank you for this gift, but they will at least laugh out loud. If they can remember where they put it.
Once you’ve got a few (hundred thousand) miles on your bones, low-impact exercise is the way to go. A swim routine is the best tonic for those aching, sagging muscles. But old people tend to get lost easily, so you probably don’t want to drop them at the lake and let them swim off. Better to find a nice pool with a little bit of supervision.