Otto the Otter Tape Dispenser
Otto’s just about guaranteed to be the cutest thing on any desk he happens to land on. He’s also got some serious core strength to maintain that half-situp position all day. Add some personality and warmth to your favorite teacher’s everyday surroundings.
Back in the good old days, a “classroom management tool” would have been nothing more than a wooden yardstick. The one the teacher used to hit kids who fell asleep, tried to wander off, or said something stupid. It seemed to work pretty well, but after a while they decided everyone should be nicer. So someone invented this idea, where teachers can keep track of kids with pieces of paper and other symbols instead of brute force. It seems to be working fine too.
It’s no secret that teaching is about the future, about helping kids become the best version of themselves. But sometimes it’s nice to step into the past too. Give them something to remind them of the time they spent molding these innocent young minds like so much human clay.
Through blessed instruments flow blessed works. Everything else is mostly crap. Nobility is at the fingertips of anyone whose instrument finds its repose in these knightly hands. Your favorite teacher toils in a thankless art much of the time; show them you understand the gravity of their contribution by putting this timeless figure at their service.
This could read as “be careful with my child.” But anyone who has ever observed a roomful of kids knows that it’s only a matter of time before the most insane and absurd accident imaginable actually happens. That’s why it’s nice to have the tools to put people back together quickly.
Teacher’s unions are under siege across the country, and wages are the big issue. Nobody’s going to expect you to personally bail out your favorite teacher, but why not take a stab at inflating their bank account through the most culturally-accepted form of gambling? Everyone needs a little hope.
Teachers are famous for taking their work home with them. Give them a much needed break by getting them tickets to a concert, play, comedy show, or other event where they get to kick back and be the audience for once. After all, they’ve been dealing with your kids every day. You know what that’s like.
Teachers have a selfless, stressful, and often thankless job. Most of the time, the only ones who get noticed are those who give bizarre, racially insensitive lectures or sleep with their students. Show a talented, dedicated teacher that you noticed them too.
You can tell someone something important once, but let’s be real: people lead busy lives. They’re going to go home and find that they’re dog crapped on the carpet, and they’ll forget what you said forever. Put it into a piece of art, on the other hand, and they’ll think of it every time they walk by.