Otto the Otter Tape Dispenser
Otto’s just about guaranteed to be the cutest thing on any desk he happens to land on. He’s also got some serious core strength to maintain that half-situp position all day. Add some personality and warmth to your favorite teacher’s everyday surroundings.
This could read as “be careful with my child.” But anyone who has ever observed a roomful of kids knows that it’s only a matter of time before the most insane and absurd accident imaginable actually happens. That’s why it’s nice to have the tools to put people back together quickly.
Through blessed instruments flow blessed works. Everything else is mostly crap. Nobility is at the fingertips of anyone whose instrument finds its repose in these knightly hands. Your favorite teacher toils in a thankless art much of the time; show them you understand the gravity of their contribution by putting this timeless figure at their service.
Teachers, along with parents, set the course for the future, and a good one can make all the difference. The aphorism on this card was a much more poetic person’s way of saying, “I may be a giant pain in your ass now, but boy, wait a few years and I’m going to be awesome. Thanks for that.”
You can tell someone something important once, but let’s be real: people lead busy lives. They’re going to go home and find that they’re dog crapped on the carpet, and they’ll forget what you said forever. Put it into a piece of art, on the other hand, and they’ll think of it every time they walk by.
Teachers have a selfless, stressful, and often thankless job. Most of the time, the only ones who get noticed are those who give bizarre, racially insensitive lectures or sleep with their students. Show a talented, dedicated teacher that you noticed them too.
Not only convenient, but environmentally responsible as well. Made to last up to five times as long as a standard notebook due to its microwave-to-erase feature. Also, scan and beam pages of notes to the cloud with a specially designed app. Saves money, cuts down on clutter, and gives them a touch of futuristic cool.
Teacher’s unions are under siege across the country, and wages are the big issue. Nobody’s going to expect you to personally bail out your favorite teacher, but why not take a stab at inflating their bank account through the most culturally-accepted form of gambling? Everyone needs a little hope.
In the natural world, flowers are renowned for their vibrancy and visual diversity. But in the human world, green will always be the primary color. Such is convention that a handful of wadded bills may be considered insulting. Deliver them in the form of roses and everyone is happy.