Make It Easy To Return Home
When people move away they always say they’ll come back soon for a visit. But weeks stretch into months, and into years, and they don’t show. To be fair, it may not be practical or affordable for them. You can help them cross one excuse off their list by covering the airfare home.
Despite its name, this is not a field guide to the best edible roadkill, but a legitimate book about things you’ll want to eat in different places across this wide and beautiful land. Packed full of hidden gems and insider tips, this book is sure to keep them full and satisfied no matter which direction they strike off.
This sounds more like a gift for you than for them, but it’s something that they will appreciate in a big way. They will probably be feeling a little isolated and lonely in their new town, especially if they’re leaving deep roots behind. It takes a long time to cultivate friendships in a new community, so seeing a familiar face in their new town is likely to make it feel more like home. Plus, you could probably use a vacation, right?
What’s the point of moving or traveling if you’re going to do the same things you’ve always done when you get there? Give this anywhere travel guide to someone who’s going away and needs some ideas on how to battle boredom. Cards feature prompts that suggest activities they probably wouldn’t think of if left to their own devices.
These candles are formulated to smell like your home state. Good thing nobody told them that when you’re home all you really smell is burned turkey and your brother-in-law’s beer farts. This is more like the idealized version of your home smell, the kind of false memory someone wants to take with them when they leave.
So they finally got that dream house in the dream neighborhood and everything is right in the world. Congratulations to them. But how are they going to get that thousand-pound antique grandfather clock into the moving truck? Oh, isn’t that convenient: they thought you were going to carry it. Hand them this instead and give them your best “Well, what are you waiting for?” look.
After the stressful experience of packing up all their belongings and leaving their home, they will no doubt need to unwind and decompress. Encourage them to put the moving boxes down and immerse themselves in their new community. Do a little research and find an event in their new town and get them a couple tickets. Remember, it may be hard to see them go, but it’s even harder for them to adjust to these changes.
Nothing makes you feel more at home in a foreign place than knowing the right way to tell someone to go f*ck himself. Don’t let a traveler you know venture off into the great unknown without arming them first with this essential guidebook. No matter where you end up on this great planet of ours, respect follows those who command the rough outer edges of the language.
Leaving home isn’t always a walk in the park. Give that departing loved one this decorative street sign along with a few bonus safety tips: Remember to be courteous to others and mind the rules of the road, especially when visiting new and unfamiliar places. Try to avoid any dangerous potholes along the way. Keep your eyes on the road as you drive off into the sunset, and don’t get distracted by what’s in the rearview mirror. Yield to oncoming traffic as you cruise down the boulevard of dreams and remember to use your directional if you have to make a U-turn and start over. Good luck and always wear your seatbelt!