Professional Ice Cream Machine
Everyone dreams of being the coolest man on the block. Well, when the summer weather heats up, even the coolest of the cool need some help. An ice cream maker is a classic answer to this age-old problem. But as any self-respecting person knows, if you’re going to do something, you should do it right. So if you’re making ice cream, don’t use some cheap imitation ice cream maker that’s been sitting on the shelves at Target since the late ‘90s. Go for the Sur La Table Dream Ice Cream Machine – the Rolls Royce of home confection. And as an added bonus, this also might just make them the sweetest person on the block.
Spherical food is classy. And now you can turn just about any food into little caviar-like pearls by blending it with water and adding a gelification agent to the mix. Then place it inside this pepper grinder-looking thing and in a few minutes you’ll be shooting out little balls of food. And when you place little balls of food on other non-ball shaped food, everything looks a thousand times fancier, and fancy looking food always tastes better.
For many thousands of years, “grilling” has meant chopping something up and suspending it over an open flame. Sure, maybe you add some new proprietary seasoning to spice things up a little and impress your in-laws, but for the most part nothing’s really changed. It’s time to disrupt (that’s what the B school kids call it) this primal practice with a little infrared technology. Call this grilling 2.0. Life has sped up immeasurably since the days when we were chasing down goats and killing them with our bare hands. We’ve got jobs now, and Netflix shows to watch. This crazy little box will get the grilling done in no time so they can get back to real life.
Like happiness, most peoples’ wealth is intangible. It’s just a number that represents a theoretical claim on a few bars of metal locked in a vault somewhere that don’t exist anyway. So what’s better than happiness and fake money? Gold! And nothing but gold! But you’re way too sophisticated to give them a shapeless ball of ore. Gold coins allow you to hand over timeless wealth in a package that’s fit to be displayed. Just like a king of yore.
We can’t emphasize this enough: you ride the motorized cooler full of drinks to the party, you drink its contents, and then you WALK it back home. Nobody wants to be the guy on the news who got arrested for drunk driving an empty cooler. So stay safe.
Grilling out is about to get a makeover. No more lugging around a bag of charcoal or pressurized cans of flammable liquid. That’s stone age crap. It’s time to start harnessing geometry and the primal power of the solar system to help make dinner. The parabolic reflective surface condenses the sun’s rays on the cooking vessel, letting them grill, steam, slow-cook, or pan fry their favorite dishes under the clear blue sky, and all with a minimal level of human input. Sometimes simpler really is better.
At a certain point, when you have too much stuff, more things just don’t do it for you anymore. At that point, if you’re smart, you start investing in superpowers. And trust us on this: every single man on the planet was a kid once, and every one of those kids wanted the power to see in the dark. To go where other humans cannot, to walk among the wild nocturnal animals as an equal, and to hide from their parents. They may not need to hide from their parents anymore, but that doesn’t make night vision any less awesome.
With professional quality drones now becoming affordable, the average schlub can make cinema-quality videos for the first time in history. Those epic sky shots that used to be exclusively available to Hollywood-level film crews are attainable for anybody. All it takes is a simple drone copter like this one armed with a professional quality video camera. And this thing brings all kinds of mischief within the user’s reach, even the kind that might land them on the news. What more inspiration could a bored tech nerd need?
For the true art connoisseur, sometimes a poster reproduction of a famous work just isn’t enough. And no, you’re not going to fool them with a “really nice” giclée print off Amazon. These are real, one-of-a-kind, straight from the hand of the artist genuine pieces. Whether it’s a canvas painting, a piece of modernist furniture, or an $18,000 metal balloon dog, there’s something for everyone here (and, believe it or not, for any budget if you’re willing to dig a little).