Tear-out Letters to the Morons Who Muck Up Your Life
Explaining to people why they suck gets very, very tiring. Luckily, two inspired authors did all the work for us. All the reader has to do is tear out the pages and deliver them to the appropriate assholes. If only all justice was this easy.
This horse is an Internet sensation… because you can’t look at this and not laugh. If anyone in your office is into birds, squirrels, or laughing, this is the gift for them. Just look at it. Plus, it’ll keep the critters from hogging the bird feeder. Neigh!
Sometimes it seems there is not enough caffeine in the entire world to get through the rest of the day. Now you can let your coworker test that hypothesis with the world’s largest coffee cup. Perfect for those who have left moderation far behind. Defibrillator not included.
In a world where deadlines are king, why not focus on a finish line that’s really worth celebrating? Retirement! They'll keep their eye on the prize with this optimistic ticker that will drive them to accomplish bigger and better things at work. Imagine the sweet silence of no alarm in the wee hours of the morning. Retirement will feel like it’s always right around the corner, and if that doesn’t get them through the day, I’m not sure what else would!
For the ultimate clock watcher, this stylish desk accessory is a fantastic way to count down the minutes left at work, hours left in the day, days left in the year, and years left before the sweet release of retirement, and that new life in the Bahamas. Or days spent pottering around the local garden center and shouting indignantly at daytime television.
We all have that messy colleague who literally doesn’t have a spare inch on their desk (unless you count that bit that’s covered in unidentified sticky brown stuff). For this co-worker, no gift is more appreciated than the under-table water bottle hanger. A quirky space-saving solution that will keep their precious H2O safe from the chaos above!
Name one coworker who wouldn’t love this (except Phil, he had a bad fish experience and doesn’t want to talk about it). Literal living art and – bonus – zero maintenance required. This self-contained aquatic ecosystem dumps the downsides to bring only the positives of an aquarium to the table.
There isn’t an employee (or human) out there who couldn’t make use of this big red button! It’ll come in handy when the boss promises them that pay review for the hundredth time, or when Katie from finance claims her boyfriend’s band is the next Pink Floyd. Just make sure they wait until the BS-er is out of sight!
Nothing is more important to company productivity than morale. And nothing raises morale better than acknowledging the real triumphs and heroics that make up the everyday life of an indentured office servant. There are no dragons to slay in the corporate world. The real battles are fought in small, desperate spaces like the sterile, suffocating environs of the meeting room. These things should not go unsaid.