Vinyl Record Clock
In some houses it’s always music time, no matter the hour of the day. Still, it’s nice to know if you have to go to work or something. A vinyl record clock represents the perfect way to keep time.
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Musicians have been using alcohol to make music since (presumably) the first caveman accidentally imbibed something fermented and learned how fun it was to pound on different rocks with an old saber-toothed tiger bone. These major scale wine glasses take the concept to a more refined level.
The perfect addition to an eccentric kitchen, this clever wall clock combines utility and design quite literally. It’s the Swiss Army knife of kitchen clocks, made of forks, soup spoons, spatulas and slotted spoons, and in an absolute emergency might just flip a burger. A great gift for anyone who spends a lot of time in the kitchen. 14" in diameter at its longest point, battery operated.
A fun choice for people who have always got something cooking, in an absolute emergency, this wall clock could actually fry an egg. But let’s hope it doesn’t get to that point. Just don’t accidentally toss this one in the dishwasher. Easy to hang from the handle and available in 8, 10, or 12” diameter.
One thing they don’t tell you about married life is that it’s measured on multiple time scales. Once you’re married, it’s no longer enough to remember what time of day it is. You also have to keep track of what time of year it is, lest you overlook the anniversary and end up paying for it for the rest of your life. But there’s another level up from that: the “Holy sh*t, I can’t believe how long we’ve been together” time scale. That’s what makes this clock special: it tracks all three.
The Decodyne Math Clock is a traditional wall clock with one important twist--its hours are marked by simple math equations. To tell the time, you solve for the answer! The clock measures 11-1/2 inches in diameter, so you can read it easily, even from across the room. Powered by a single AA battery, the Decodyne Math Clock does not need to be plugged into a wall for operation. The perfect office clock for an engineer, an accountant, a mathematician or anyone else who works with numbers.
If you’re looking for a simple techie gadget that will really blow their hair back, this might be just the thing. A single led-studded fan blade creates a hologram-like clock face as it twirls through the air - cooling your room, telling the time, and blowing everyone’s mind all at once. Is it a physical metaphor playing on the idea that time is an illusion? A piece of alien technology? No, it’s really just a cool little gadget, even if it seems like it’s specially designed to freak out cats.
When you are retired, time doesn’t mean quite the same thing anymore. The day clock will tell you what day of the week it is (they all blend together), and it will give you a vague sense of what time it might be (which, let’s be honest here, is all you really need). What it won’t tell you is what the exact time is (let the working stiffs worry about that).
The perfect wall clock for someone who likes to sew, this unique clock is stamped from metal and features a swinging pendulum resembling a pair of scissors. An interesting addition to a sewing or craft room, this playful clock is sure to inspire some creativity.
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Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.