44 Funny Housewarming Gifts

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dog lamp gift
Elizabethan Collar Lamp

No matter how much you may not want to, you can’t help finding this lamp funny. Go ahead, laugh at the plight of wounded animals everywhere. We promise you won’t accrue any bad karma. Need we say that the dog lover you know needs this housewarming gift?

Uncommongoods.com
Sir Galahad Bartender
Sir Galahad Bartender

What could be better for serving drinks at the round table than a knight in shining armor packed full of liquor? This full suit of Gothic plate armor makes your home a castle while also defending guests and homeowners alike from the ravages of thirst. Sword not included.

Hammacher.com
selfie toaster
Selfie Toaster

Nothing makes a new house feel like home more than adding some portraits to the walls. Go a step further and let them emblazon their own face on edible items. Nothing says “my house” like a toaster that spits out bread in your own image.

BurntImpressions.com
Funny Doormat
Funny Doormat

A first impression is a dominant factor in shaping perception. A hilarious doormat begins that process even before eye contact is made. Help them ingratiate themselves with party guests, traveling salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and whoever else happens to stumble upon their threshold. A little personality never hurt anyone.

Amazon.com
complicated light switch gift
Complicated Light Switches

Nothing makes a home feel unique like incorporating art into its basic function. Modernism is all about austerity and total lack of decoration, and these light switch covers are like a stick in the eye of that architectural philosophy. If you know a steampunk fan who’s moving into a new house, they’ll go ape over these. You don’t have to understand. Just trust us.

Etsy.com
Wiener Dog Oil and Vinegar Set gift
Wiener Dog Oil and Vinegar

Old fashioned oil and vinegar cruets are elegant and time tested, but we think they’ve had their day. This set of dachshund-inspired glass table pieces do the job just as well, but with more personality. The perfect housewarming gift for an animal lover with a quirky sense of humor.

Uncommongoods.com
Cat Toilet Training Kit
Cat Toilet Training Kit

Here’s something no cat owner has ever said: “I love emptying the litter box!” But what if there was a better way? Train any cat to poop in the potty, and save money too! It’s the perfect way to help a new homeowner keep their house from smelling like a kitty bathroom.

Amazon.com
Knight Toilet Paper Holder
Knight Toilet Paper Holder

There’s just something about personalized service. Transform their throne into one truly fit for a king by installing this faithful servant exactly where he’s needed. Adds a dignified, regal air to this place of repose, contemplation, and elimination.

Amazon.com
Star Trek Bathrobe
Star Trek Bathrobe

Being earthbound can be such a drag. A Star Trek themed bathrobe can be a nightly reminder that mere humans just like us have indeed sailed among the stars, and perhaps someday we will too. Does wonders for your confidence too: once you’ve had the feeling of piloting an interstellar craft, running a household is child’s play.

ThinkGeek.com
The Man Bowl
The Man Bowl

Once you’ve got your own house, you can eat out of anything you want. Why be hemmed in by the constraints of human convention? Help him reconnect with his animal roots by gorging out of the same style of food vessel as his best friend.

Amazon.com
The Pepperphile's Peppermill
The Pepperphile’s Peppermill

Pepper is an in-your-face spice, and its essence has nothing to do with subtlety. Here is the perfect vessel for the preeminent seasoning at the table. Let this beautifully crafted ebony grinder tower over the other lowly flavors, including its eternal rival, salt. Any other symbolism we’ll leave up to your imagination.

Hammacher.com
Squatty Potty
Squatty Potty

Most people poop incorrectly. With all that practice you’d think we’d all be good at it. The Squatty Potty gets the body in the correct posture and claims to help with all sorts of health issues. It’s a great housewarming gift since all things toilet related are inherently funny.

Amazon.com
Pink Flamingo
Pink Flamingo

You may not want to admit it, but sometimes a cliché is charming as hell. Not everyone can pull off a pink lawn flamingo, but those who can stand in our highest regard for a reason. It’s an old classic that never made sense. You can’t beat that.

Amazon.com
pet fence window gift for house
Pet Fence Window

There’s a whole mysterious world out there that can only mean trouble for a naive, trusting beast like the domestic canine. That doesn’t mean that fido can’t experience it from afar through a steamy, drool smeared bubble. Expand his horizons from the safe confines of a fenced yard, where he can daydream in peace and security.

Amazon.com
Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters
Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters

Run, run as fast as you can, but you can’t escape from a Ninjabread Man. These stealthy holiday assassins will sneak, chop, and stab their way from oven to belly without making a sound. Turn any kitchen into a dojo with these hilarious novelty cookie cutters.

Amazon.com
Dog Corn Holders
Dog Corn Holders

These may be the perfect joke gift for a vegan. But carnivorous animal lovers (never mind the apparent contradiction) will get off on these too. A cleaner, far more adorable way to eat corn on the cob.

Amazon.com
Bathtub Wine Glass Holder
Bathtub Wine Glass Holder

Spilled alcohol and broken glass simply don’t fit with the luxury life. Let the lowbrows balance their stemware on the wet, glossy surface of the tub like the hapless fools they are. Your friends deserve better. Bring some peace of mind to their relaxation hour.

Amazon.com
Horse Head Squirrel Feeder
Horse Head Squirrel Feeder

Is there anything ethically wrong with playing jokes on animals? Probably not, even though if the squirrel knew what was going on it might not be amused. Can squirrels even experience amusement? Whatever. Leave the questions to the philosophers. This thing’s hilarious. Buy it.

Amazon.com
wine bottle puzzle gift
Wine Bottle Puzzle

If there’s anything that can make wine taste better, it’s a little frustration. If you think life in our rapid-delivery consumer culture is just a bit too easy, then teach the new homeowner a valuable lesson by making them work more than they anticipated for their reward. You’re not only giving the world’s oldest artisan beverage, you’re helping develop life skills.

Amazon.com
fish hotel gift
Fish Hotel

Le Corbusier would approve of this modernist aquarium, with its crisp right angles, flat white finish, and complete lack of adornment. This is the home for the discerning fish who thinks the standard glass bowl is for uncultured bottom feeders. The only choice for the sophisticated goldfish.

Amazon.com
Bug Vacuum
Bug Vacuum

Nobody wants bugs in the house, but some people feel bad about killing them, too. It’s not their fault they need a home, after all. The Bug Vacuum solves this moral conundrum by giving us a way to safely catch and release household spiders and insects without having to touch an icky, itsy-bitsy, creepy crawler.

Amazon.com
dramatic bookends gift
Impending Doom Bookends

With the gift of consciousness comes the burden of consciousness. Knowledge is heavy, and many a man has succumbed under its implacable weight. Celebrate the wonderful danger of ideas with this poor terrified effigy of a man on the verge of seeing his brief, harried existence crushed like an ant under the lumbering foot of human thought.

Amazon.com
R2-D2 Ceramic Teapot
R2-D2 Ceramic Teapot

If we were asked to describe R2-D2 in two words, we would probably say short and stout, a description that famously applies to teapots as well. A perfect addition to the home kitchen of any Star Wars fan, this little teapot is most certainly the droid you are looking for.

ThinkGeek.com
brain bookends gift
Right and Left Brain Bookends

Some people need visual feedback in order to understand their progress. With these right and left brain bookends, they can literally watch as their mind expands with each book added to the shelf. Of course, they still have to read them to absorb the knowledge. Let’s hope you don’t have to explain that.

Uncommongoods.com
Metal Balloon Dog Sculpture
Metal Balloon Dog Sculpture

This sculpture is not, despite all appearances, the work of some sort of demented robot clown, but it is the perfect housewarming gift for the person who appreciates a little whimsy with their modern art. It’s a wonderful conversation starter, and it will never, ever pop.

Amazon.com
The Muppet Show Cuckoo Clock
The Muppet Show Cuckoo Clock

Help the new homeowner reminisce about a time when TV shows were a true escape from the harsh realities of the world and puppetry was a respected art form — when beautifully composed songs about the simple joys of life occupied the limelight and imaginative play was sweet and original. This heartwarming timepiece will bring comfort throughout the day and return silliness to an all-too-serious era. Lighten up and smile, the Muppets are alive and well and life isn’t so bad after all!

Hammacher.com
bobs-burgers-burger-book
Bob’s Burgers Burger Book

Admittedly, this is kind of a niche gift. But somehow, inexplicably, this has become a giant niche. Fans of the animated sitcom – as well as the associated blog, comic book, and soundtrack album – will have a great time geeking out to these real life, chef-tested recipes for the outlandishly-named burgers the show is famous for.

Amazon.com
World's Largest Kit Cat Clock
World’s Largest Kit Cat Clock

For the homeowner with eclectic tastes, there is the giant animated Kit Cat Clock. This iconic clock (usually much smaller) has been a fixture in kitchens across the world since 1932, when it was first designed by Earl Arnault for the Allied Manufacturing Company.

Hammacher.com
Loliware Edible Cups
Loliware Edible Cups

Everyone hates doing the dishes. Anything you can do to ease that burden will be appreciated. Take glassware for example. With Loliware when you finish your drink there’s no need to take it to the dishwasher. You just eat it, or save it for a midnight snack.

loliware.com
The Self-Contained Hootenanny
The Self-Contained Hootenanny

You could buy them a 17 man band that could live in the corner of their den and serenade them every day, or you could just go with this unique piece of furniture that can play 17 instruments at once. Plus this pneumatically controlled Hootenanny can remember how to play 13,000 songs.

Hammacher.com
PancakeBot
PancakeBot

3D printing technology is all the rage these days, but has anyone been able to explain to you what the point of it all really is? Well wonder no more! The point, as is so often the case with hi-tech gadgets, is pancakes. Design and print pancakes in shapes never thought possible before. What a time to be alive and hungry for breakfast.

Amazon.com
warped candlestick gift
Warped Candlestick

A warped mind deserves the home implements to match it. If you know someone who is just a little crooked, skewed, or depraved but still functional, they will probably fall in love with this out of the box. There’s nothing like home decor that expresses your true nature.

Amazon.com
Spaghetti Noodle Pasta Measuring Tool
Spaghetti Noodle Pasta Measuring Tool

Why is it so hard to judge the correct amount of spagetti noodles to cook? It’s not like we haven’t done this a million times. For whatever reason, the human mind cannot solve this equation. Luckily there’s no need with this handy tool that can measure standard portions for people and even those who are so hungry they could eat a horse.

Amazon.com
World's Largest Scrabble Game
World’s Largest Scrabble Game

Quadruple size your triple word score with this enormous Scrabble board. Your wordiest, nerdiest friend will love letting passing strangers see them crush all opposition through their front windows as they walk by on the sidewalk in front of their new home.

Hammacher.com
Watermelon Keg Kit
Watermelon Keg Kit

You tap a watermelon to tell if it is ripe, right? Now tap it another way! For the person whose new house has that killer patio, the Watermelon Keg Kit makes every cookout an instant party. Not only do you get a super cool drink dispenser, but you get to eat the watermelon, too! WIN WIN!

Amazon.com
Toilet Night Light
Toilet Night Light

Night-blindness is that thing that happens when you turn on the bathroom light in the middle of the night. The shock of going from darkness to light is abruptly harsh, and after the light goes off you’re blind for several minutes until your eyes readjust to the darkness. The combination of night blindness and urgent midnight runs to the bathroom can result in any number of minor disasters like stubbed toes and stray streams of… you get the idea. With the subtle glow of a toilet night light all these problems are a thing of the past. Also creates a nice atmosphere for impromptu bathroom disco parties.

Amazon.com
chemists_spice_rack
Chemist’s Spice Rack

Kitchen mastery is just as much a science as it is an art. Most people’s understanding of cooking remains superficial, but the culinary scientist sees what everyone else is missing. This laboratory-inspired spice rack proves that even when it comes to food, nerds do it better.

ThinkGeek.com
Giant Yard Games
Giant Yard Games

Go big or go home, wait, they can do both with these giant yard games! They’ll supersize the fun at backyard parties with these larger than life versions of the games we all played growing up. All sorts of giant games are available including checkers, chess, Connect Four, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Jenga and more.

Amazon.com
Suspension Bridge Shelf gift
Suspension Bridge Bookshelf

Whoever said a “bridge to nowhere” was useless? This one serves beautifully as a shelf to display photos, small potted plants, and other decorations, and livens up a room with its elegant yet simple design. Adds a unique, sophisticated touch to any room.

Uncommongoods.com
Tetris Stackable LED Desk Lamp
Tetris Stackable Desk Lamp

You know how when you play too much Tetris you start seeing the shapes everywhere? Make that nightmare a reality with this cool desk lamp. Stack the pieces in any order you like and watch them light up. It’s a perfect gift for all the casual gamers in your life.

ThinkGeek.com
Inflatable Heated Whirlpool Spa
Inflatable Heated Whirlpool Spa

So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.

Hammacher.com
paint lamp gift
Paint Bucket Lamp

A true surrealist is not going to put up with the mere harnessing of electricity. These brightly colored artistic lamps are a gravity-defying nod to the unreality of existence. Fun, functional, and funky. Give the laws of physics a slap in the face.

Amazon.com
The Nightmare Before Christmas Cuckoo Clock
The Nightmare Before Christmas Cuckoo Clock

Some household items scream your personality from across the room. Are you a forty-year-old with Star Wars bed sheets? Nerd-tastic. Chances are you don’t even have to read this. If you know someone who’s a good fit for this gift, you knew it as soon as you saw it. What are you waiting for?

Hammacher.com
Sushi Bazooka
Sushi Bazooka

If those sushi making kits with the bamboo rolling mats are such good gifts for food lovers, then why does nobody ever even open the package, much less make sushi with them? Maybe because it’s just too hard to do? Not with the sushi bazooka. Just load it up and POW! Instant sushi rolls. This will be used.

Amazon.com

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