Hopefully moving into a new home is a step up. This oven is certainly a step up from the greasy cardboard delivery box it’s made to resemble. You could call it middlebrow chic. Perfect for someone looking to add a little class without inserting a stick up…well, you get the idea.
Everyone likes a nice stiff after-dinner drink, but sometimes you get tired of swearing at strangers and getting in fights with the sheriff. What’s a country boy to do? A great housewarming gift for anyone who’s looking to tone it down a notch but can’t give up the taste of that sweet Kentucky nectar. Or anyone who wants an extra special kick to start the day.
Kombucha is the ancient art of making tea into something half the people who try it will love and the other half will vomit back onto your carpet. The people who love it are objectively correct, because it makes you live forever (almost). Anyone who has fallen head over heels for it will do the same for you if you buy them this homebrew kit.
Jellyfish are some of nature’s most mesmerizing, beautiful, and sublime creations. They’re also a lot harder to care for than a goldfish. Thankfully, you can get the same visual effect with synthetic jellyfish and some creative lighting. A way cooler version of the classic lava lamp.
You’ve heard the old saying, “Measure twice, cut once.” Let’s be honest, the real reason you measure twice is because you forgot the first measurement. This digital tape measure lets you save multiple measurements for easy recall, so you can stop playing games and get the work done.
Chocolates used to (and perhaps still do) come from factories run by shady recluses and populated by obese midget slaves. Or at least that’s what the video evidence suggests. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. Stick it to big business by giving someone this home chocolate making kit and help them join the artisan revolution. A whole new way to make chocolate “guilt free”.
High quality craft beer deserves a vessel made to the same exacting standards. Leave the pitchers for the Bud Light. An insulated, pressurized micro keg is the best way to dispense a fancy brew when taste and freshness really matter. The perfect gift for parties, casual gatherings, or personal consumption.
If there’s anything that can make wine taste better, it’s a little frustration. If you think life in our rapid-delivery consumer culture is just a bit too easy, then teach the new homeowner a valuable lesson by making them work more than they anticipated for their reward. You’re not only giving the world’s oldest artisan beverage, you’re helping develop life skills.
If a man’s home is really his castle, shouldn’t he have knights bowing in fealty to him somewhere? Yes! He should, which is why he will love this housewarming gift of a knight in shining armor presenting him with a weapon even mightier than a sword.
This sculpture is not, despite all appearances, the work of some sort of demented robot clown, but it is the perfect housewarming gift for the person who appreciates a little whimsy with their modern art. It’s a wonderful conversation starter, and it will never, ever pop.
If we were asked to describe R2-D2 in two words, we would probably say short and stout, a description that famously applies to teapots as well. A perfect addition to the home kitchen of any Star Wars fan, this little teapot is most certainly the droid you are looking for.
For the homeowner with eclectic tastes, there is the giant animated Kit Cat Clock. This iconic clock (usually much smaller) has been a fixture in kitchens across the world since 1932, when it was first designed by Earl Arnault for the Allied Manufacturing Company.
If those sushi making kits with the bamboo rolling mats are such good gifts for food lovers, then why does nobody ever even open the package, much less make sushi with them? Maybe because it’s just too hard to do? Not with the sushi bazooka. Just load it up and POW! Instant sushi rolls. This will be used.
Moving into a new house is a lot of hard work. What the new homeowner really needs is a drink. They’ll be blending libations like a true mixologist with this app and scale that gives step-by-step instructions for pouring the perfect cocktail.
If the new homeowner is a little clumsy in the kitchen, these cut resistant gloves may help them from accidentally adding unplanned ingredients to their meal (fingers in the coleslaw are never good). Now you won’t need to be suspicious of that red sauce when they invite you over for dinner.
Certain small items like keys, wallet, and sunglasses have a bad habit of getting lost when they’re most needed, so it’s nice to have a dedicated spot for them. Ikea probably has a solution for that, but for the love of god, it’s time to stop relying on the Swedish to solve all of your problems. This nice man in Oregon put together a very unique bowl that would look great on someone’s coffee table.
There is nothing more viscerally satisfying than the sound of a real brass gong. While gongs were traditionally used for meditation and rituals, a new homeowner will find endless applications for this. They can announce dinner, call the kids in from the yard, or use it as a replacement for verbal communication altogether. A truly timeless instrument.
Here’s something no cat owner has ever said: “I love emptying the litter box!” But what if there was a better way? Train any cat to poop in the potty, and save money too! It’s the perfect way to help a new homeowner keep their house from smelling like a kitty bathroom.
Brewing beer sounds fun, but ask anyone who’s tried it and they’ll tell you that it takes a lot of boring cleaning and babysitting of the brew to do it right. Add to that the difficulty of getting consistent, reproducible results, and it just makes sense to let this clever machine do the work. Watch the home brew progress from phone or tablet while taking it easy.
You’ve been meaning to tell them that nobody likes their grilled pizza, no matter how much they pretend to. Now you don’t have to tell them anything. Just buy this grill-top pizza oven and let nature run its course. Once they try this, they’ll never go back. Oh, and it works in 2-4 minutes. Magic.
Look, it’s not the 1950s anymore. Nobody has the time or patience to wait for a damn popsicle to freeze, at least not by conventional methods. It’s hot outside now, and lord knows you got a sweet tooth. Buy them one of these and they can be sucking on that frozen, flavored water stick in seven short minutes.
Let’s be straight up here. This is the most unpretentious piece of furniture you could ever give someone, the apex of don’t-give-a-f*** comfort. Because really, who do they have left to impress? We know Lebowski would approve.
Turn your stream of consciousness food rants into an organized list of purchasable items. Just press a button and say what you need, and this handy wall robot will sort it into grocery store categories and spit out a nice clean list for you. Voice recognition technology for the busy homemaker.
Fruits and vegetables are like children: you let your guard down for a day or two, and when you look again they’re spoiled, and you would rather just get rid of them than deal with their rottenness. Preventing spoiled kids is complicated, but fruits and vegetables are a lot simpler. Someone already figured out the answer, and here it is.
Admittedly, this is kind of a niche gift. But somehow, inexplicably, this has become a giant niche. Fans of the animated sitcom - as well as the associated blog, comic book, and soundtrack album - will have a great time geeking out to these real life, chef-tested recipes for the outlandishly-named burgers the show is famous for.
How many times have they said, “I know this town like the back of my hand”? Present them with this accurate jigsaw representation, sit back, and ask them to prove it. Or stoke their nostalgia with a puzzle version of their long-lost birthplace. A great choice for a more personalized gift.
Specialty lighting isn’t just for Christmas anymore. Help them make it rain any old time with these decorative moving led lights. Spruces up any party or holiday gathering, and confuses the bejesus out of wildlife. Also rumored to repel vampires.
Nothing makes a new house feel like home more than adding some portraits to the walls. Go a step further and let them emblazon their own face on edible items. Nothing says “my house” like a toaster that spits out bread in your own image.
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
Both cheaper and healthier than buying commercially-made soda, this thing is a win-win. It’s also a step up in elegance from having a pantry stuffed with cases of Mountain Dew. They can tell everyone it’s “artisan soda”, whatever that means. Their health, checking account, and reputation as connoisseurs will all thank you.
People these days are more interested than ever in knowing about the entire life cycle of the food they eat, from farm to table as they say. This butter churner is the perfect housewarming gift for someone who really likes to get hands-on with their food. Help transport them back to the days before capitalism had ruined the world but you had to do every damn thing yourself.
Everyday life and art don’t have to exist in segregation. Anyone who appreciates a little surrealism in their day will go to pieces when they see this image distorting mirror that dissolves into puzzle-like sections. Because purely functional rooms are boring.
In case you haven’t noticed, Mother Nature could use some help. Old plants and leaves will eventually rot enough that you can use them as mulch, but Jesus does it take a long time, and nobody’s got all day to wait. Like they say, if you want something done right, do it yourself. An electric leaf mulcher is a great way to speed up that slow old woman’s work.
Food creates a multi-sensory experience that transcends taste. Scent is a powerful sensory stimulus that affects mood and is heavily tied to memory. These beautiful, unique candles celebrate some of the sweetest, most distinctive and most recognizable foods out there both visually and through their delicious smells.
Life is often times very frustrating. It’s easy to eat a thousand pistachios a minute, but you end up with a mountain of inedible shells and a weird feeling in your mouth. The second problem is your own fault, but someone went and fixed the first one because they care about you and hate seeing you struggle. Pass on the gift to someone else you care about.
There has been a big trend toward natural shapes and materials in home furnishings as we realize that a lot of the stuff we’ve tried to make ourselves is just unsightly. These versatile honeycomb-inspired shelves are the bee’s knees and provide an appropriate frame to show off all that awesome junk they’ve got laying around the house.
The old video games have a charm that just won’t ever be matched again. A couple of ethnic caricatures running around in the clouds killing turtles and invading medieval castles? Nowadays all we’ve got are zombies, which are disgusting and weird and move too slow to be interesting. Hark back to simpler times with this novel housewarming gift.
Many a voracious reader dreams of whiling away the time in a comfortable chair in some musty library. But what if the chair itself was the library? If they can survive this intense moment of revelation, they may have something akin to a braingasm. Which is a hell of a housewarming gift in itself.
Run, run as fast as you can, but you can’t escape from a Ninjabread Man. These stealthy holiday assassins will sneak, chop, and stab their way from oven to belly without making a sound. Turn any kitchen into a dojo with these hilarious novelty cookie cutters.
In the world of minor annoyances that slowly wear you down, wet hand and footwear are right up there with highway noise and wet toilet paper. Thankfully, there’s no more need to wait two days for dry boots or gloves. Just pop them on this handy little machine, turn the heat up, wait an hour or two, and it’s go time.
Cotton candy brings back delicious memories of festivals, carnivals, and other favorite childhood events. But what about someone who lives in a crap town that even carnivals won’t visit, or is scared of clowns or strangers? Despite what your parents may have told you, cotton candy isn’t magic. It can be made right at home with a handy little machine like this.
Being earthbound can be such a drag. A Star Trek themed bathrobe can be a nightly reminder that mere humans just like us have indeed sailed among the stars, and perhaps someday we will too. Does wonders for your confidence too: once you’ve had the feeling of piloting an interstellar craft, running a household is child’s play.
For many people, donuts are the only reason to get up in the morning. Despite this, we’ve been told over and over how unhealthy they are, being fried balls of dough and all. Well, this donut pan will remove the final psychological barrier to full enjoyment, because it takes out the frying. Take that, food police. Oh, and it’s a lot cheaper too.
This is what Indiana Jones played with in his backyard when he got old and stopped chasing treasures in the third world. It’s just as fun, and nobody’s going to try to pull your heart out with his bare hand at the other end. Of course, you also won’t get rich, but you’ve gotta take the good with the bad.
Eggs are delicious, healthy, delicate, and frustrating all at the same time. This makes them a perfect candidate for something to hand to a machine and say, “Here, you deal with this.” And unlike housemates, the machine won’t feel used or unappreciated. It will just produce perfect eggs in one of several forms, all without protesting. Another win for technology.
Create 3D printer models out of real objects with a 3D scanner. This is invaluable practice for the future, when we’ll be able to print our own dream lives complete with real living friends, pets, and loved ones that act exactly as we’d like them to. Or perhaps not. But it’s fun to pretend.
Light the way through the dusk with these nontoxic glow in the dark pebbles. Adds a touch of the surreal to a house’s landscaping. Great for drunk homeowners who haven’t lived there long enough to tell the houses apart.
It’s never too early to spread the love. And with this heart-shaped waffle maker, all they have to do is spread the batter, and all the love symbolism comes popping out by itself, like magic. Alas, these delicious creations are destined to be just as fleeting.
The outdoors have their own set of unique charms, but they could use some help in the tunes department. Life today is ultra-portable, and music should be too, but sometimes - like when you’re chilling with friends - headphones are just weird. Help them bring the party outside so everyone can get down.
These may be the perfect joke gift for a vegan. But carnivorous animal lovers (never mind the apparent contradiction) will get off on these too. A cleaner, far more adorable way to eat corn on the cob.
Despite what you might think, not all communication in the 21st century is digital. There is a midway point between old time mouth-based talking and facebook, where people still communicate in a low tech environment. You just have to make a game out of it, or no one will bother. Let wall scrabble be the glue that holds the thin shards of someone’s family life together.
Everyone naturally worries about the comfort of their guests, while the condiment bottles sit forlornly, wherever somebody tossed them, neglected and slathered in their own sticky residue. Thankfully, you realize that ketchup has needs too. That’s why you’ll buy this condiment picnic table for a less thoughtful person in your life.
This gift will let the housewarming host blow away their guests when someone calls for shots. What better way is there to serve them than in actual shots? Choose your poison, line ‘em up, knock ‘em back and get the party started. They’re a clever piece of equipment for the bar and are sure to be a conversation starter for many gatherings to come.
Moving into their dream house is a big occasion that deserves a big party. And what’s a big party without big cocktails? This giant shaker will keep the drinks flowing at the housewarming and will prove to be the centerpiece to a memorable night. Well, we say memorable, that all depends on how often it gets filled…and emptied…
If you know someone that has a bit of a competitive streak, we think we’ve got the perfect gift for them. Be prepared to go toe-to-toe with their bishops, knights and queens as you try to outmaneuver and outdrink them. In this game of chess it’s not just your king that needs to be last man standing.
Is a party even a party before the tequila comes out? Make sure your host serves their spirits in style with this smart and sophisticated serving set. We’d take a shot on this gift being just what every housewarming party needs, and we’d quite literally take a shot off it too. With a present this perfect, can you blame us?
Smoke detectors are essential in every home, but if you know someone who’s not exactly a culinary wizard they probably think that they’re a bit of a nuisance. After all, who wants a reminder that they’re not exactly head chef material each time they burn the bagels? The worse their cooking, the more they’ll appreciate this high tech deactivation towel.
At one time or another we all find ourselves on the wrong side of the front door, clueless to where our keys are and not really wanting to wait for someone else to get home to let us in. Give them a housewarming gift that will make sure they’re never left out in the cold with this lock pick training kit. A friendly word of advice: just play it cool if there’s a neighborhood heist in the near future.
The government has been working for years to create light bulbs that will burn eternally, by entrapping the souls of orphans in small glass domes. Until they have the glitches ironed out, a set of 20-year light bulbs should bridge the gap just fine. Don’t worry, they’re still working on it.
The first thing every self-respecting new homeowner does after moving in is start painting those walls. But what colors??? This handy little gadget allows you to scan a surface to get the exact color and match it to any of more than 10,000 colors from leading paint brands. You can even share color palettes over email and social media!
This is what you do when you realize your taste in home decor is crap. Or maybe the person you’re buying for is too weird to appreciate it. Whatever the case, sometimes it’s not such a good idea to decorate someone else’s house for them. If you’re feeling a little gun shy, let them pull the trigger themselves.