Bacon is the official food of the month, every month of the year. Now somebody has gone a step further and made a delivery service with a special kind of bacon for every month. Every time we go a level deeper with bacon it just gets better. Rumor has it Elon Musk is working on a bacon replicating machine. It’s about time he did something useful.
One day soon, artificial intelligence is going to be a reality, and the machines are going to take everything. Until then, you might as well get as much out of these bastards as you can. Here’s a robot who will make fully-customizable drinks until he knows better.
You might remember that snow cone maker from when you were a kid with the crank and Snoopy on top. It was disappointing; it was hard to turn and it made tiny snow cones. This thing, though. This makes real deal snow cones and uses electricity. This is not for kids.
Yes, you want the 30-year-old in your life to have a heated whirlpool, but more importantly, you want to have access to a whirlpool without having to maintain it. “What do you mean I can’t hang out in your whirlpool today? You wouldn’t have that if it weren’t for me.” That’ll put them in hot water or, preferably – put you in hot, bubbly water.
Fondue’s one of the classier cuisines and, as lovely as a fondue party sounds, the real reason anyone buys a fondue maker is to go overboard with food experiments. Give the 30-year-old in your life the gift of wondering: “Does this go with cheese?” Along with all the happiness— *cough* *cough* stomach aches—that follow.
If they’re anything like us, they’re not wild about some anonymous person manhandling their pork. The problem is, of course, that someone has to turn it into bacon. A make your own bacon kit is the perfect gift for someone who really wants to take control of their lives, starting with the most important parts.
If you want some world class street art in your house, you can wait for someone like Banksy to break in and paint something on your wall, but most likely that’s not going to happen. And if someone does break in and paint your walls, you’re probably not going to like what they do. It’s better to play it safe and go with one of the classics, like one of these wall art decals based on famous Banksy paintings. A much neater, more controllable way to be vandalized.
Many studies point to a higher life expectancy for those that follow a Mediterranean diet. What looks like a humble bottle of olive oil could well be the elixir of youth. We can’t think of a better present to give to someone that's turning another year older.
Alright, enough pussyfooting around. Are you gonna open that damn bottle or not? This authentic 50 caliber shell will definitively end the standoff with any stubborn bottle cap, no matter how strong a fight it’s willing to put up. The Bottle Breacher is made by and supports veterans, and might pique the interest of an ex-military or historically-minded recipient. Using an actual bullet to crack open a well-deserved beer at the end of the day is surely a much nicer use for it than originally intended.
Everyone likes receiving money, and it’s the easiest gift to give. Unfortunately, a pile of bills is often considered tacky. On the other hand, roll them up into flower shapes and it’s considered art. A brilliant ruse to make the simplest of transactions socially acceptable.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
Sure, they can make water more exciting, but why stop there? What not sparkle some juices? Coffee? What happens you sparkle already sparkling water? Can you carbonate already carbonated drinks? We don’t know, but now’s the chance to find out! The drinks — and dreadful discoveries — are limitless.
If you’re really picking your brain over something to get a whisky-lover for their 30th birthday, that isn’t another bottle of whisky, get them something they can really get their teeth into…or they can really get into their teeth. These scotch infused toothpicks are a touch of class after dinner and a subtle way to help that person who always has spinach in their teeth.
Batteries run out all the time. I'm sure you've noticed that you can never find them when you need them. If you do, they are the wrong size. Save them from one of life's little annoyances by giving them more batteries than they could ever possibly use.
Having to repeat yourself is such a bore. These comfortable foam sandals leave a clear message behind you, so you can give the command without opening your mouth. Trips to the beach will get a lot cheaper and easier now that your minions know exactly what to do.
As much as we hate to mention, and we don’t advise you do, they’re not spring chickens anymore and Ben and Jerry probably aren’t the best of people for them to be around. They’ve probably realized this already, so give them a helping hand with their new healthy lifestyle with this marvelous little yogurt maker which will let them create some delicious and nutritious snacks to help make that break up a little easier.
When you were a kid, chances are you attempted to eat your fare share of non-food objects. And who could blame you? The world does look mighty tasty from down there. Most likely, your parents dealt with the issue by repeatedly pulling items from your mouth and offering a good deal of scolding. But you have to wonder, was that really worth all the effort? Probably, given they didn’t have a choice. Here is a different option: if kids are going to eat their toys, just make them edible. Makes sense to us.
Avoid the blistering pain and embarrassment of yet another sunburn with this pocket-sized viewer. The latest beach bag essential to hit the sunbathing scene, this advanced device shows where sunscreen coverage is not sufficient, and will give them the peace of mind they need every time they soak up some Vitamin D. Accurate and waterproof, this is a no-brainer for today’s sun worshippers.
This sand-sifting surface will spoil all those beachgoers who crave the UV rays but don’t want little grains messing up their tan lines. Seagulls might not mind the crunch in their stolen ham sandwiches, but those avid beach bums loathe the dusty debris caking up their glossy skin. Even salty seawater is no match for this jumbo play pad. Sand is for the birds!
They’ve survived this far living outside the bubble, but why push their luck? Give them this insanely fun inflatable bubble ball, and hope they’re inside it the next time they do something indescribably stupid. A great way to insulate themselves against life’s hard uncertainties.
Do you know someone who’s always in search of the perfect hot sauce? Well, maybe the answer is to let them make their own. This kit allows you to experiment with different pepper, spice, and vinegar combinations until you find the holy grail of hotness. No more excuses, just hot pepper perfection.
For anyone who’s a fan of Tim Burton, this clock is an absolute essential piece to add to their collection. Even if they’re having a nightmare before they become 30, this is surely something that will bring a smile to their face. Beautifully crafted and brilliantly detailed, it’ll be loved for a long time despite it being a haunting reminder they’re getting older with every chime.
Help reinforce good choices by giving a young person this hilarious version of the world’s most famous death game. Just load up a water balloon and pass the pistol around the table, then wait to see who gets soaked.
Watch opposing armies fight for supremacy on the living room wall with this piece of functional art. Grandmasters and novice players alike will appreciate checking their opponents on the most unique game board in their home. Framed like a picture, this chessboard makes a lovely 30th birthday present for anyone who loves to play games.
This gift is worth it solely for the look on their face when they find out what it is—even if they don’t understand why it is. It’s best delivered deadpanned; no expression and definitely no explanation. Don’t worry, they’ll learn to love it—and if they don’t, all their Facebook friends will when you post that picture against their will.
Do you have a friend who still consults a magic eight ball for important decisions? Well, it’s time for them to grow up. Everyone knows the real wisdom lies in magnets. The sleek design of this modern divining tool is sure to get attention for its looks as well as its results. Give the gift of infallible prediction.
Polaroids may be dead, but the people who like to use them aren’t. Not all of them anyway. There’s something especially gratifying about holding a tangible photograph, especially in a world dominated by virtual commodities where everything is becoming digital. Having an instant printer on hand means they don’t have to wait for a photo printing company to print their photos from the cloud and mail them by horseback or whatever. And we all know that nobody has time to wait for a horse these days. Oh, and we should also mention: these look way better than Polaroids.
Kombucha is the ancient art of making tea into something half the people who try it will love and the other half will vomit back onto your carpet. The people who love it are objectively correct, because it makes you live forever (almost). Anyone who has fallen head over heels for it will do the same for you if you buy them this homebrew kit.
Only a complete tool gives an empty toolbox as a gift. We know you’re better than that, and you know it too. Enter the Loaded Toolbox — the prime companion of the jack of all trades. This is the classic entry level gift, the rite of passage into handyman or handywoman-hood. Life is a long journey full of creaky door hinges, rusty bolts, and other mechanical nuisances. Give them the tools they need — literally — to navigate this unforgiving landscape.
The only problem with an oven is that it’s so much bigger than a pizza. Nobody knows why. This rotating pizza oven is compact and has separately-controlled, programmable bottom and top heating elements so your pizza comes out perfect every time. Fast, efficient, energy-saving, and delicious.
A cleaning tool that will exceed their expectations, this hardworking brush will tackle those hard-to-reach spots with perfect execution and unrivaled efficiency. No job is too ambitious for this zealous wand. A dirt-loving devil with a thirst for grime, domestic duties will be done in no time.
If those homegrown massages are causing pains to linger a bit longer than expected, chances are your masseuse-in-training needs a tad more study time. This irreplaceable guide takes readers on an anatomical journey that charts every inch of the human body with artistic genius and incredible detail. Plunge into the mysteries of our incredible physique and gain insights on pain relief and the miraculous healing powers that originate from within.
Celebrate their roots with one of these insanely comfortable t-shirts to remind them where they’re from. A great antidote to homesickness and scratchy-clothing syndrome. And if someone should find them drunk and unresponsive on the front lawn, they’ll know approximately where to send them.
It’s a big claim, we know. But yes, apparently all of life’s mysteries can be explained using flow charts, and this handy book has collected them all together. Give this gift to someone who has always wondered about the meaning of life, and bemoaned the lack of a sufficient diagram to explain it.
Sure, it will be strange when you have to get that cheek swab from them without them knowing what you’re up to, but it will all make sense when you reveal this custom portrait that showcases their unique DNA. Or you could just give them the DNA collection kit as the gift if that’s easier. Or just swab your dog. They’ll never know the difference.
If they've always dreamed of wielding a light saber, this powerful beam just might fit their fancy! Best when not pointed in a loved one’s direction, this powerhouse of illumination will penetrate darkness with impeccable precision and provide a clear and safe path out of harm’s way. The weapon of choice for any dark alley, thick forest or deserted road outing, this superhero outperforms any other handheld flashlight on the market today.
If you’re racking your brain trying to think of a perfect 30th birthday gift for someone who’s keen on a little outdoor cuisine, this should solve your birthday present brainteaser. As simple as it is, it’s a flippin’ genius invention that will take their barbeques to the next level and buying it will guarantee your invite to the next one.
For many wide-eyed young adults, the future looks ripe with opportunity as they imagine the glorious journey they’ll have while turning all their dreams into realities. Of course we know, most of those dreams will not materialize and many enthusiastic attempts at success will end in miserable failure. As this enlightening book explains, this seemingly endless floundering is actually the typical path towards real prosperity. Most of the important lessons in life are learned through mistakes and failures, lessons that culminate at some point (even if through sheer brute force and stubborn determination) in eventual success.
Sunflowers are some of nature’s most obnoxiously beautiful creations, and they make a real statement when planted in your yard. Bright yellow and absurdly tall, they grab the attention of every passerby. Almost like standing on the porch and yelling at people, but in a really endearing and pleasant way.
If you still don’t know what to get them for their 30th birthday, why not just let them create what they want themselves? These hand held 3D printers have advanced a lot since they were introduced and the prices have come down. Fair warning, you may end up getting some less than beautiful plastic trinkets from them on your next birthday.
People say they love camping, but are we 100% sure they don’t just love to eat s’mores? Why not buy them this S’mores Machine so they can enjoy the good parts of roughing it without needing to sleep in a leaky tent afterwards.
New cars come loaded with all kinds of cool features like backup cameras, but what about the rest of us who are still cruising around in our 1998 Cavalier? We have to turn our heads around like some sort of caveman. No need to get left behind as the world races forward, this handy device attaches to any car with fairly minimal effort.
Admittedly, this is kind of a niche gift. But somehow, inexplicably, this has become a giant niche. Fans of the animated sitcom - as well as the associated blog, comic book, and soundtrack album - will have a great time geeking out to these real life, chef-tested recipes for the outlandishly-named burgers the show is famous for.
Some 30-year-olds have children and this is a perfect gift to…oh, who are we kidding? This one’s for you and the 30-year-old just as much as their children because nothing’s as satisfying as a nice, cold popsicle — except not having to share it.
High quality craft beer deserves a vessel made to the same exacting standards. Leave the pitchers for the Bud Light. An insulated, pressurized micro keg is the best way to dispense a fancy brew when taste and freshness really matter. The perfect gift for parties, casual gatherings, or personal consumption.
When they want a back rub from the spouse, the kids to clean their room, or their turn on the dishes passed along, it’s now at their fingertips. Give them the gift of abusing power. Just be careful though – if a coupon applies to you, write in the small print that restrictions apply, or you’ll get a real surprise on that “drive me anywhere” one at 2am.
When they hit 30, it’s the prime of their life. Time to start raking in achievements and accomplishing those goals they’ve always dreamed of. So it’s your job to get in the way of that. Bring their productivity to a screeching halt with a gift that’ll have them staring mindlessly for hours.
If there’s anything that can make wine taste better, it’s a little frustration. If you think life in our rapid-delivery consumer culture is just a bit too easy, then teach someone a valuable lesson on their 50th birthday, by making them work more than they anticipated for their reward. You’re not only giving the world’s oldest artisan beverage, you’re helping develop life skills.
Fire pits sure look inviting, but let’s face it, who wants to smell like charred charcoal and smoldering soot when they crawl into bed at night? Experience the beauty of fire with this classy, odor-free design that can complement any extracurricular activity or intimate affair. Toss the pokers and the bellows and clear the table … this stunning centerpiece is on fire!
If they are not living out their childhood sandbox dreams of operating a bulldozer or a backhoe at this age, chances are it’s not going to happen. Tough luck, kid. At least you can let them live that dream for a day by buying them a trip to Extreme Sandbox.
If they didn’t have a germ phobia before, help them develop one before it’s too late. Once you explain how much this vacuum catches that was missed before, they’ll start to notice germs everywhere. Just realize you’ll be hanging out at their house from now on.
Back in 1905, a Swiss laborer had a sandwich and some absinthe for lunch, then went home and killed his family. And that was it for absinthe. A classic case of overreaction. Now it’s more than a hundred years later, and absinthe is again the trendiest liquor in the world. If you’re just turning 30, you might as well jump into the deep end. Here’s the diving board.
Take them on a walk down memory lane with a box full of toys they used to love, accessories they used to envy, and hairstyles they’d rather forget. Especially the hairstyles. Be sure to include those. And make them open the gift in front of all their friends and family.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to enjoy tequila. How do you know the difference? The wrong way ends with you naked and vomiting among strangers. The right way looks like this picture. Tequila sipping glasses and flavored salts bring out the subtle overtones that make this famous (and sometimes infamous) spirit a timeless classic with endless nuances to explore.
Some things are just inherently adult: finishing taxes a month in advance, owning more than one spare tire, and now this. Show the 30-year-old in your life you care by reminding them how old they are and how, yes, they absolutely do need a separate machine to clean their jewelry. They’ll thank you—right after they pay their bills a month early or whatever other adult things they do.
Every big shot needs a set of these to take their big shots from. Perfect for a 30th birthday gift, but also appropriate for anyone who wants to flex their drinking muscles or show their military/hunting roots. Perfect for that person who really goes in for the kill at the drinkin’ hour.
Chess pieces may look cool, but they’re extremely dated. Here’s a chess board that makes use of something they can relate to: drinking vessels that help them forget everything they hate about their life. Don’t worry, they’ve kept the little horses and whatnot. Now you can just drink out of them.
What better object to have in hand while you’re getting drunk than a grimacing skull to remind you of your own mortality? Rendered in stunningly intricate detail, this guy really comes to life when you fill him up with a colored liquor. Just like someone else you know.
Many scientists consider smell to be the strongest of the human senses, tied up so intimately as it is with emotions and memories. It’s also sometimes the most neglected aspect of the home. You know who we’re talking about. Help that person craft a more sensuous and pleasing atmosphere for everyone who steps inside.
Nothing quite makes an impression like someone who has a giant tool and knows how to handle it. Get everybody within a half-mile radius drunk in one fell swoop with this absurdly proportioned mixology shaker. A brain-cell smiter of truly biblical proportions.
Different people learn in different ways. Not respecting those differences is a major reason the public education system has failed us so terribly. Some people learn visually, some learn by mimicking, and some learn by beer. This book is for the last group.
Musical genius is not a prerequisite for this delightful sound machine. Whether it’s cranking out an original score or “Born to Be Wild,” the sweet melodies of this tabletop hurdy gurdy will capture the ears and lighten the hearts of all those who gather ’round for a listen. Add this customizable heirloom to the instrument collection and inspire a newfound appreciation for all things classic.
If you’ve ever suspected that you can’t trust your tongue, here’s proof. Adding volatile scents to these specialized forks completely changes the experience of eating, as your brain processes much more information through your nose than your tastebuds. Give this as a gift and help them have the weirdest, most surreal dinner parties in the neighborhood.
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, or maybe just gives you PTSD. Either way, it’s better than dead. Here’s a book that can help the owner avoid the dead category for a little longer, even when things get hairy. Rough world we live in.
Air travel can be pretty uncomfortable, especially if you're crammed in an economy seat like most working folks. When the stress is mounting, the kid starts crying, and the pilot announces that they'll be arriving behind schedule, at least there is booze. These cocktail kits will help them find their happy place when they feel like popping that emergency exit and bailing out.
Grilling doesn’t have to be a seasonal pastime anymore. This creative addition to your barbeque repertoire will bring the oven to the patio and some deliciously baked goods to the chef’s outdoor menu. The irresistible flavor of brick-oven fare will redefine your backyard and inject some home-cooked aroma into the too often smoky, greasy smells of the charcoal circuit. Who knew cooking out could be so refined?
Nothing creates a sense of urgency like counting the seconds until the time when you can’t count the seconds anymore. The surest way to beat procrastination, this watch doesn’t let you off the hook. Strap it on someone’s wrist, give them a hearty slap on the rear, and tell them to get to work.
Sushi’s great, but not as great as when launched from a cannon. Good news for you – and everyone else within ten feet – it doesn’t have a great deal of firepower, but still helps spice up meals with some unnecessary– scratch that, totally necessary action hero elements.
Know someone who just can't stand waiting a few minutes for their eggs to cook? This gift’s great for hosting dinner parties, brunches, and most importantly, seeing how many eggs they can make in an hour. Careful though, once they realize this machine’s true potential, they may never stop inviting you to brunch. Welcome to the rest of your life: hope it’s EGGcellent.
As far as unusable real estate goes, this isn’t a bad deal. Buy swampland in Florida and everyone thinks (actually, knows) you’re a poor, sad, gullible boob who’s open to being taken advantage of. Own some land on the moon, on the other hand, and you’re sort of a lazy pioneer. It’s a long way to go for a vacation, and whoever you give this to probably can’t afford to make the trip, but if they ever figure out how to make this whole space taxi thing work, their great grandkids might just get some use out of it.
Know someone who’s had a lot of close calls? Celebrate it with this bullet-embedded shot glass. A strong reminder that you never know which direction the next shitstorm is coming from, and you never know what shape it’s going to take. You might as well live it up now while you can.
Along with abundance comes the responsibility not to bore the crap out of people by making the same silly casserole every night. The problem is that nobody wants to think that much about food. They just want to eat. Place the burden of creativity - and blame - on these ingenious foodie dice, and watch the possibilities multiply.