The perfect gift for your friend who struggles to leave their fluffy unicorn slippers at home in the morning- cough, um, did we say unicorn? We meant stylish sheepskin moccasins, obviously. Anyway, these cozy shoe liners will make them feel nice and warm and sleepy… oh no, Jeff’s fallen asleep at his desk again.
Supporting technology and educating people about aerodynamics…and let’s be honest; the real reason to buy this is to obstruct people’s paths. “Oh, what’s that? You wanted to open the fridge? Well, Flounder here didn’t get them memo.” This gift’s also great for circling people, but be careful or their revenge might go just as swimmingly.
People love venturing into nature for the near mystical experience of being connected with our pre-civilized roots. We feel a strong, implacable pull toward wild places like the desert and the forest. The problem is, nature really just wants to eat you. This book tells you how not to let that happen.
Kombucha is the ancient art of making tea into something half the people who try it will love and the other half will vomit back onto your carpet. The people who love it are objectively correct, because it makes you live forever (almost). Anyone who has fallen head over heels for it will do the same for you if you buy them this homebrew kit.
Grilling doesn’t have to be a seasonal pastime anymore. This creative addition to your barbeque repertoire will bring the oven to the patio and some deliciously baked goods to the chef’s outdoor menu. The irresistible flavor of brick-oven fare will redefine your backyard and inject some home-cooked aroma into the too often smoky, greasy smells of the charcoal circuit. Who knew cooking out could be so refined?
If they’re anything like us, they’re not wild about some anonymous person manhandling their pork. The problem is, of course, that someone has to turn it into bacon. A make your own bacon kit is the perfect gift for someone who really wants to take control of their lives, starting with the most important parts.
Don’t let mother nature’s inability to harness her own electrons cramp their style. Now they can stay connected even when far from civilization. Plus, this little gadget will make them the most popular person on the block when the zombie apocalypse comes.
You might remember that snow cone maker from when you were a kid with the crank and Snoopy on top. It was disappointing; it was hard to turn and it made tiny snow cones. This thing, though. This makes real deal snow cones and uses electricity. This is not for kids.
Yes, you want the 30-year-old in your life to have a heated whirlpool, but more importantly, you want to have access to a whirlpool without having to maintain it. “What do you mean I can’t hang out in your whirlpool today? You wouldn’t have that if it weren’t for me.” That’ll put them in hot water or, preferably – put you in hot, bubbly water.
Fondue’s one of the classier cuisines and, as lovely as a fondue party sounds, the real reason anyone buys a fondue maker is to go overboard with food experiments. Give the 30-year-old in your life the gift of wondering: “Does this go with cheese?” Along with all the happiness— *cough* *cough* stomach aches—that follow.
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for you to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get someone to mail them to you. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
Everyone likes receiving money, and it’s the easiest gift to give. Unfortunately, a pile of bills is often considered tacky. On the other hand, roll them up into flower shapes and it’s considered art. A brilliant ruse to make the simplest of transactions socially acceptable.
Sure, they can make water more exciting, but why stop there? What not sparkle some juices? Coffee? What happens you sparkle already sparkling water? Can you carbonate already carbonated drinks? We don’t know, but now’s the chance to find out! The drinks — and dreadful discoveries — are limitless.
Who has time for trial and error? Folks today demand fast-acting, proven solutions to their everyday conundrums. A modern stand-in for the tried and trusted Farmer’s Almanac, this back pocket companion is more reliable than your great-grandmother and more concise than an open-ended Google search. Believe it or not, some of the “smartest” solutions have been around for ages.
Big ideas can change the world, but so do small acts. Not all of us can create the next Google or reinvent the energy industry, but we can all be better at being human. This international, online-integrated card game provides the ideas and the motivation to spread goodwill everywhere you go, one act at a time.
As much as we hate to mention, and we don’t advise you do, they’re not spring chickens anymore and Ben and Jerry probably aren’t the best of people for them to be around. They’ve probably realized this already, so give them a helping hand with their new healthy lifestyle with this marvelous little yogurt maker which will let them create some delicious and nutritious snacks to help make that break up a little easier.
When you were a kid, chances are you attempted to eat your fare share of non-food objects. And who could blame you? The world does look mighty tasty from down there. Most likely, your parents dealt with the issue by repeatedly pulling items from your mouth and offering a good deal of scolding. But you have to wonder, was that really worth all the effort? Probably, given they didn’t have a choice. Here is a different option: if kids are going to eat their toys, just make them edible. Makes sense to us.
Since the dawn of time, chaos, terror, and death have periodically rained down from the sky. Only the lucky were spared. But now we have weather radios, so you can go inside instead of dying. This one also conveniently charges your phone so the next hurricane doesn’t have to interrupt your game of angry birds.
Watch opposing armies fight for supremacy on the living room wall with this piece of functional art. Grandmasters and novice players alike will appreciate checking their opponents on the most unique game board in their home. Framed like a picture, this chessboard makes a lovely 30th birthday present for anyone who loves to play games.
This gift is worth it solely for the look on their face when they find out what it is—even if they don’t understand why it is. It’s best delivered deadpanned; no expression and definitely no explanation. Don’t worry, they’ll learn to love it—and if they don’t, all their Facebook friends will when you post that picture against their will.
Do you have a friend who still consults a magic eight ball for important decisions? Well, it’s time for them to grow up. Everyone knows the real wisdom lies in magnets. The sleek design of this modern divining tool is sure to get attention for its looks as well as its results. Give the gift of infallible prediction.
Sitting on the throne, for lack of a better term, isn’t the place where you tend to feel at your most gallant, but every king or queen needs a loyal knight to serve them and we’ve found just the man for the job. Always at hand when they need him the most, he won’t shy away from coming to their aid in even the most, er, challenging of situations.
A cleaning tool that will exceed their expectations, this hardworking brush will tackle those hard-to-reach spots with perfect execution and unrivaled efficiency. No job is too ambitious for this zealous wand. A dirt-loving devil with a thirst for grime, domestic duties will be done in no time.
Flowers don’t just look nice and fill the air with pleasant aromas, they also carry various levels of symbolism. Much like the zodiac, each month has its own flower variety, reflecting the character of everyone born therein. Or at least, that’s what someone decided a long time ago. And it sure is a nice idea. Regardless of whether the person you’re buying for really is a carnation at heart, or whether they’re more of a Venus fly trap, these earrings are going to look great on them.
Celebrate their roots with one of these insanely comfortable t-shirts to remind them where they’re from. A great antidote to homesickness and scratchy-clothing syndrome. And if someone should find them drunk and unresponsive on the front lawn, they’ll know approximately where to send them.
If they've always dreamed of wielding a light saber, this powerful beam just might fit their fancy! Best when not pointed in a loved one’s direction, this powerhouse of illumination will penetrate darkness with impeccable precision and provide a clear and safe path out of harm’s way. The weapon of choice for any dark alley, thick forest or deserted road outing, this superhero outperforms any other handheld flashlight on the market today.
If you’re racking your brain trying to think of a perfect 30th birthday gift for someone who’s keen on a little outdoor cuisine, this should solve your birthday present brainteaser. As simple as it is, it’s a flippin’ genius invention that will take their barbeques to the next level and buying it will guarantee your invite to the next one.
Sunflowers are some of nature’s most obnoxiously beautiful creations, and they make a real statement when planted in your yard. Bright yellow and absurdly tall, they grab the attention of every passerby. Almost like standing on the porch and yelling at people, but in a really endearing and pleasant way.
This sand-sifting surface will spoil all those beachgoers who crave the UV rays but don’t want little grains messing up their tan lines. Seagulls might not mind the crunch in their stolen ham sandwiches, but those avid beach bums loathe the dusty debris caking up their glossy skin. Even salty seawater is no match for this jumbo play pad. Sand is for the birds!
Polaroids may be dead, but the people who like to use them aren’t. Not all of them anyway. There’s something especially gratifying about holding a tangible photograph, especially in a world dominated by virtual commodities where everything is becoming digital. Having an instant printer on hand means they don’t have to wait for a photo printing company to print their photos from the cloud and mail them by horseback or whatever. And we all know that nobody has time to wait for a horse these days. Oh, and we should also mention: these look way better than Polaroids.
People say they love camping, but are we 100% sure they don’t just love to eat s’mores? Why not buy them this S’mores Machine so they can enjoy the good parts of roughing it without needing to sleep in a leaky tent afterwards.
New cars come loaded with all kinds of cool features like backup cameras, but what about the rest of us who are still cruising around in our 1998 Cavalier? We have to turn our heads around like some sort of caveman. No need to get left behind as the world races forward, this handy device attaches to any car with fairly minimal effort.
If humans were meant to fly, the logic goes, we would have been born with wings. Well, logic is an overrated buzzkill. Leaving the earth and relying on your own wits to return in one piece is something everyone should experience. Give the middle finger to gravity and biological destiny.
Some 30-year-olds have children and this is a perfect gift to…oh, who are we kidding? This one’s for you and the 30-year-old just as much as their children because nothing’s as satisfying as a nice, cold popsicle — except not having to share it.
Nothing quite makes an impression like someone who has a giant tool and knows how to handle it. Get everybody within a half-mile radius drunk in one fell swoop with this absurdly proportioned mixology shaker. A brain-cell smiter of truly biblical proportions.
When they hit 30, it’s the prime of their life. Time to start raking in achievements and accomplishing those goals they’ve always dreamed of. So it’s your job to get in the way of that. Bring their productivity to a screeching halt with a gift that’ll have them staring mindlessly for hours.
If there’s anything that can make wine taste better, it’s a little frustration. If you think life in our rapid-delivery consumer culture is just a bit too easy, then teach someone a valuable lesson on their 50th birthday, by making them work more than they anticipated for their reward. You’re not only giving the world’s oldest artisan beverage, you’re helping develop life skills.
Fire pits sure look inviting, but let’s face it, who wants to smell like charred charcoal and smoldering soot when they crawl into bed at night? Experience the beauty of fire with this classy, odor-free design that can complement any extracurricular activity or intimate affair. Toss the pokers and the bellows and clear the table … this stunning centerpiece is on fire!
The morning drinker: one of the most misunderstood fellow citizens. Once imbued with the spark of firewater, they can do anything, especially if it’s delivered with the bold energy rush of caffeine. You think we should eradicate morning drinking? Well, you can kiss all your favorite novels goodbye then, because all great authors are drunk by 10 am. But I guess if you want to try tricking someone out of their morning cup of whiskey, this would be the best way.
If they are not living out their childhood sandbox dreams of operating a bulldozer or a backhoe at this age, chances are it’s not going to happen. Tough luck, kid. At least you can let them live that dream for a day by buying them a trip to Extreme Sandbox.
What other diversion affords the opportunity to let out both bloodcurdling screams and unrestrained giggling while indulging in sweet candy treats? Embrace the carefree silliness of youth and give them a little license to check out for a few hours. Responsibility can wait. Slap on that wristband and hop on the ride of a lifetime.
Bacon is the official food of the month, every month of the year. Now somebody has gone a step further and made a delivery service with a special kind of bacon for every month. Every time we go a level deeper with bacon it just gets better. Rumor has it Elon Musk is working on a bacon replicating machine. It’s about time he did something useful.
If they didn’t have a germ phobia before, help them develop one before it’s too late. Once you explain how much this vacuum catches that was missed before, they’ll start to notice germs everywhere. Just realize you’ll be hanging out at their house from now on.
If there’s one skill that every responsible citizen should have, it’s the ability to access things that aren’t theirs. But you better believe you don’t get there without practice. Some day they’re bound to come across something they want that has been locked away by some other thoughtless and selfish human. Don’t let them approach this dark situation unprepared.
Take them on a walk down memory lane with a box full of toys they used to love, accessories they used to envy, and hairstyles they’d rather forget. Especially the hairstyles. Be sure to include those. And make them open the gift in front of all their friends and family.
Some things are just inherently adult: finishing taxes a month in advance, owning more than one spare tire, and now this. Show the 30-year-old in your life you care by reminding them how old they are and how, yes, they absolutely do need a separate machine to clean their jewelry. They’ll thank you—right after they pay their bills a month early or whatever other adult things they do.
Chess pieces may look cool, but they’re extremely dated. Here’s a chess board that makes use of something they can relate to: drinking vessels that help them forget everything they hate about their life. Don’t worry, they’ve kept the little horses and whatnot. Now you can just drink out of them.
What better object to have in hand while you’re getting drunk than a grimacing skull to remind you of your own mortality? Rendered in stunningly intricate detail, this guy really comes to life when you fill him up with a colored liquor. Just like someone else you know.
Different people learn in different ways. Not respecting those differences is a major reason the public education system has failed us so terribly. Some people learn visually, some learn by mimicking, and some learn by beer. This book is for the last group.
Musical genius is not a prerequisite for this delightful sound machine. Whether it’s cranking out an original score or “Born to Be Wild,” the sweet melodies of this tabletop hurdy gurdy will capture the ears and lighten the hearts of all those who gather ’round for a listen. Add this customizable heirloom to the instrument collection and inspire a newfound appreciation for all things classic.
Back when old people were kids, shadow puppeteering was accepted as a legitimate skill. That meant holding your hands in front of a light to create rudimentary animal shapes on the wall, because there was no internet. These candleholders are a serious step up. Just try making a mature cedar with your hands. Ok, stop. It’s not going to happen.
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, or maybe just gives you PTSD. Either way, it’s better than dead. Here’s a book that can help the owner avoid the dead category for a little longer, even when things get hairy. Rough world we live in.
Nothing creates a sense of urgency like counting the seconds until the time when you can’t count the seconds anymore. The surest way to beat procrastination, this watch doesn’t let you off the hook. Strap it on someone’s wrist, give them a hearty slap on the rear, and tell them to get to work.
Sushi’s great, but not as great as when launched from a cannon. Good news for you – and everyone else within ten feet – it doesn’t have a great deal of firepower, but still helps spice up meals with some unnecessary– scratch that, totally necessary action hero elements.
Know someone who just can't stand waiting a few minutes for their eggs to cook? This gift’s great for hosting dinner parties, brunches, and most importantly, seeing how many eggs they can make in an hour. Careful though, once they realize this machine’s true potential, they may never stop inviting you to brunch. Welcome to the rest of your life: hope it’s EGGcellent.
Their very own Tyrannosaurus skeleton. Enough said. It fits all occasions, and those who disagree can take it up with the dinosaur. Help them earn a reputation as the coolest person in the neighborhood, and when holidays swing around, wrapping it in lights and adding a hat can only earn you Alpha Friend status.
Buy them a couple tickets to a great event or show as a little test. Will they give the extra ticket to you? You just gave them this very thoughtful gift, after all. Or do they keep them both. In which case, maybe they just get a box of chocolates from the drug store next time.
They are bound to receive a lot of jewelry for a 30th birthday so break the mold a little and give them something a bit different. We’re sure they’ll want their precious mementos to last a lifetime but won’t want to spend a lifetime cleaning them. An ultrasonic jewelry cleaner is the perfect answer to keeping everything sparkling while leaving them free to do whatever 30-year-olds do.
What better way to say that the pen is mightier than the sword? This knight pen holder will be their most loyal servant in all of their clerical crusades. Whether they’re battling with the bookkeeping or feuding with their filing, help will be at hand. And yes, their grocery lists deserve the royal treatment too.
The years seem to start to speed up by the time a person’s thirtieth birthday rolls around. Thirty years might not seem like so long. This framed reproduction of the New York Times front page from the day they were born will remind them that 30 years is actually a pretty long time ago.
30 is not too old to get hammered once in awhile, but it is too old to get hammered drinking inferior booze. Get their sophisticated adult drinking life started right with a bottle of top shelf liquor that has been aging for as long as they’ve been breathing. They’ll see the light.
