The Dammit Doll is one of the best, most tactile ways to say “Dammit All!” And as anyone who’s ever had the great evolutionary fortune to be human can tell you, despite all the perks of being at the top of the food chain and being the unquestioned masters of our environment, there are plenty of reasons to say “Dammit All!” Hence the cathartic utility of the Dammit Doll. So much better than bashing the bejesus out of a real person (for both ethical and practical reasons).
Do you ever feel like you’re buying pens for the whole damn block? People will think twice about pocketing these when they see the bizarre and embarrassing messages printed on them. Just make sure not to bust them out at a job interview.
Subtlety is not a quality that is often attributed to remarkable butts. From Brazilian calendar models to Dave in HR (in whose wake no sane person walks), the human posterior tends to grab attention forcefully, or not at all. A small company with a social conscience is looking to change that. Enter Subtle Butt, the fashion accessory you wish everyone else had.
Heavy drinking and recovery food are the yin and yang of the YOLO life. This book is 128 pages of pure detox alchemy, a journey through a magical culinary landscape where nausea evaporates like the morning dew and headaches turn to, well, less painful headaches. A must-have for the hard liver with a hard liver.
Beef jerky is a fond favorite of many but, let’s be honest, it’s pretty standard. When you’re looking for a less regular gift for a less regular person, you’re going to have to do better than that. Earthworm jerky might just be the answer. This jerky is packed full of protein and we hear that it’s really tasty too. We did mean to try it ourselves, honestly … but … earthworms.
There’s nothing worse than having to get up every day and be the same damn person. We all feel the pain, but it’s a rare soul who gets to branch out into alternate identities. Now you can give this invaluable gift to someone you care about. This 48-pack of gag business cards allows the owner to take on whatever persona fits their mood that day - from the mysterious to the reckless to the downright weird.
If you can’t be good, then you need to be the best at being the worst. No artistic tool better equips you for that lofty goal than the Otamatone. This thing is a crapstorm of godawful atonal noise. You’ve never heard anything worse.
A certain percentage of the population has a strong obsession with animal butts. Most of them are under 10 years old - the ones who aren’t end up making things like this for a living. Go on, admit that you want to pull a tissue out of this cat’s butt. No one’s going to care. As long as you’re only pulling things out of the rectums of figurines and other likenesses, there’s no problem. Watching the recipient’s reaction to this gift can probably tell you a lot about them…we’re just not sure what.
We like to think of chickens in two categories: free-roaming farm animals, and dinner. But the truth is that nothing is stopping you from domesticating and civilizing this iconic barnyard fowl. In fact, for someone seeking a pet with that “huh?” factor - the one that is sure to turn heads - the chicken makes a fine choice indeed. The only thing stopping them is the question of how they’ll walk it. Petco may not carry chicken harnesses, but fortunately for whoever gets this gift, Amazon sure does.