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One Last Night On The Town

Treat that special someone to a night of unbridled fun and mildly sinful exploits. Give those screaming bachelorette partygoers a run for their money and don’t head home until you spot a few ladies of the night. This final outing has got to break some records and brand a few amazing memories onto their brain before fleeing the scene of the crime and trading in this life for another more exciting undertaking. Pack a few party favors for the crew as well as a reliable, fully charged device to document the evening. Break-a-dawn, baby!

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going away gifts diy state art
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Handmade Map Artwork

Is your going-away gift budget topping out at $5 … including taxes? Fear not—this handy-dandy idea is a homerun for the less-than-crafty set. Just raid your parents’, grandparents’ or your own trunk for something called an “atlas.” (A local map once used for scouting yard sales will also work.) Grab your toddler’s scissors or some comparable shears to cut out an accurate shape of the state. Then pull out those five big ones and purchase a simple frame to house your creation. Voilà!

Hometown Map Wood Cutout gift idea
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Hometown Map Wood Cutout

The streets of one’s hometown are too real to be thought of in two dimensions. This set of wood cutout maps makes these cities come to life. The outline of every block is rendered in painstaking detail by a dedicated artisan, all by hand. The perfect way for them to remember home.

personalized fortune cookies gift idea 2
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Custom Fortune Cookies

Your heart might feel like it’s in a million pieces right now, but it’s nothing one crack of a crispy cookie can’t fix! Karma has a funny way of working itself inside these sweet, sesame-laden delights, and truth be told, a spectacular streak is on the horizon. Go ahead and take that special someone out for a satiating meal of the finest local Chinese food and surprise them with fifty of these prophecy-filled treats. Saying goodbye isn’t easy, but sometimes that’s how the cookie crumbles.

friendship mug going away gift 2
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Heartfelt Friendship Mug

Having a best friend to rely on is one of life’s warmest comforts. Right on its heels is a cup of hot coffee. So go ahead and combine the two for someone who’s going away, lest they forget all about you. People have short attention spans these days, you know.

going away gifts coordinates necklace
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Map Coordinates Pendant

No, these aren’t the bust, waist and hip measurements of that special gal who’s spreading her wings and taking flight. Unlike those other ever-changing numbers, these precious coordinates will remain the same … forever. If she’s ever feeling lost or out of place, just one stroke of this sterling charm will soothe her weary heart and bring her right back to center. A comforting constant on that roller coaster ride we like to call life, this personalized pendant is the perfect going-away gift.

realistic fake money gift
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Cruel Fake Money Joke

Stop being such a selfish jerk already! When you’re sitting on this amount of dough, the only right thing to do is give it away to someone who’s going away … and hope they’re not stupid enough to use it and be put away … for life! Talk about a hilarious prank for that punk who’s leaving you high and dry in this godforsaken place. Don’t let the spoof drag on for too long, though—they might go and spend the phony loot to buy you a lavish gift and then you’ll be an accessory to the crime!

going away gift new clothes
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New Clothes For New Climate

If they’re moving from one region of the country to another, half of their wardrobe may become pretty useless. Those tank tops and swimsuits were perfect for Florida weather, but not so much for Wisconsin. Get them some new threads that will be more appropriate for their new environment so they’ll be a little less like a fish out of water.

homesick candles gift ideas
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Homesick Candles Smell Like Their Home State

These candles are formulated to smell like your home state. Good thing nobody told them that when you’re home all you really smell is burned turkey and your brother-in-law’s beer farts. This is more like the idealized version of your home smell, the kind of false memory someone wants to take with them when they leave.

Popular Gifts

Adjustable Standing DeskAdjustable Standing Desk 2
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Adjustable Standing Desk

Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.

Second Screen For LaptopSecond Screen For Laptop 2
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Second Screen For Laptop

The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.

Interactive Personal Trainer MirrorInteractive Personal Trainer Mirror 2
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Interactive Personal Trainer Mirror

They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.

Gordan Ramsay Cooking ClassGordan Ramsay Cooking Class 2
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Virtual Cooking Classes With Gordon Ramsay

A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?

Hug Sleep Swaddle Blanket Shark Tank 4
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Sleep Pod

Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.

Gift Ideas Whole Bottle Wine GlassGift Ideas Whole Bottle Wine Glass 2
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Whole Bottle Wine Glass

In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.

Phonesoap Gift
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Phone Sanitizer and Charger

Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!

Inflatable Heated Whirlpool Spa Gift
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Inflatable Heated Whirlpool Spa

So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.