Scotch Infused Toothpicks
For the distinguished gentleman who enjoys the finer things, but also eats a poppy seed bagel every morning and always has some stuck in his teeth, there are scotch infused toothpicks. The added flavor and kick of scotch will encourage use, which is something that everyone can smile about.
Nothing says you’ve made it like clothing that bears the logo of your corporate brand. And no, we’re not talking about those cheesy screen printed t-shirts that somebody in HR’s cousin whipped up for that convention last year. We’re talking about real, legit looking professional branded wearable merchandise (PBWM, if you require an acronym). Such accessories are no longer the exclusive domain of uber-hip brands like Supreme. Now your boss can corporatize their bling too and let the whole world know what they need to know, in case they don’t already.
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for your boss to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get creative. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
The course may be far away, but it’s never far away from your boss’ heart and mind. Now you can put the tools of the trade at their fingertips with a set of golf pens. Score a hole in one for your career.
It’s far better to give than to receive they say, and with this gift your boss can do both. Order a charity gift card in any amount and let them decide which charity should receive the donation. It’s a gift that makes you look good and makes them feel good. Everyone wins.
If m&ms were a person, you would have choked the crap out of them by now because all they do is say the same thing over and over again. Thankfully, we now live in the infinitely customizable iCulture, where you don’t have to put up with that kind of nonsense anymore. Say everything you ever wanted to say, in the sweetest way possible.
Inside every high achiever is a bored, distracted child just waiting to pop out like a jack-in-the-box as soon as it sees an opportunity. One of the hidden benefits of the corner office is the privacy that allows the occupier of that office to play with whatever they want while the door is closed. A golden slinky carries the right amount of gravitas for a man or woman of power, and it’s far from the most embarrassing thing they could be caught playing with if someone opens the door unexpectedly.
Your boss has carved their individual signature into the business, leaving an indelible mark that has become a permanent emblem on the corporate history, influencing and directing its financial success. You’re not going to give them some run-of-the-mill leather or paper bound journal you picked up at Walgreens. Right? It’s okay, you don’t have to admit it if you were. Just grab this one and thank your lucky stars we were there for you again.
Tyrannical behavior is never good, but with some people it just seems to be ingrained in their DNA. If you have to suffer through it, at least make your boss admit it with every sip of double spiced pumpkin chai, or whatever that bastard drinks. Call it passive aggressive if you will. We just call it effective. Since you probably can’t knock your boss down a couple of rungs on the corporate ladder, you might as well ridicule them a little.