Scotch Infused Toothpicks
For the distinguished gentleman who enjoys the finer things, but also eats a poppy seed bagel every morning and always has some stuck in his teeth, there are scotch infused toothpicks. The added flavor and kick of scotch will encourage use, which is something that everyone can smile about.
What better way to say that the pen is mightier than the sword? This knight pen holder will be their most loyal servant in all of their clerical crusades. Whether they’re battling with the bookkeeping or feuding with their filing, help will be at hand. And yes, their grocery lists deserve the royal treatment too.
If m&ms were a person, you would have choked the crap out of them by now because all they do is say the same thing over and over again. Thankfully, we now live in the infinitely customizable iCulture, where you don’t have to put up with that kind of nonsense anymore. Say everything you ever wanted to say, in the sweetest way possible.
Your boss always demands that you get better at your job, so why not demand the same of your boss? In a subtle, pat-on-the-back, “keep up the good work, tiger” sort of way. Bring out the best in them by showing them how the best do it.
Since nobody seems to be interested enough to invent an ever-lasting battery, it looks like we’re all stuck charging our phones every day for the foreseeable future. But before you throw you hands up in disgust and ask how it could possibly get worse, there is some good news. The same lazy, inconsiderate tech “geniuses” who refuse to make forever batteries have at least found the decency to create a little pad that charges smartphones without having to plug them in. And really, it’s the least they could do.
There’s no better way to spend your last few minutes before bedtime than reading about someone who’s smarter, more successful, and far more innovative than yourself. Inspiration, they call it. Give your boss the gift of understanding what they don’t understand.
It’s tough to find a gift for your boss that they’ll actually use. Rather than throwing your money away on some doodad that they’ll pretend to like and feel obligated to display, why not put your money to good use instead? Make a donation in their name to a cause that is dear to them. It’s a classy gift that actually makes the world a better place, plus it’s tax deductible!
If you can’t contribute to your boss’ mental health and stability, you can at least contribute a substance that makes mental health and stability feel irrelevant for a little while. And of all those substances, wine is the most socially acceptable and has the richest history. These labels allow you to put your gift in the proper context, and carry a tacit apology wrapped in disarming humor. Even if they don’t forgive you, they’ll at least know you understand what you’ve done.
It’s far better to give than to receive they say, and with this gift your boss can do both. Order a charity gift card in any amount and let them decide which charity should receive the donation. It’s a gift that makes you look good and makes them feel good. Everyone wins.