Bacon is the official food of the month, every month of the year. Now somebody has gone a step further and made a delivery service with a special kind of bacon for every month. Every time we go a level deeper with bacon it just gets better. Rumor has it Elon Musk is working on a bacon replicating machine. It’s about time he did something useful.
If you think that intoxicating substances and baseball don’t mix, consider that Doc Ellis once pitched a no-hitter while tripping on acid, and old time icons like Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, and Harry Caray were pretty much drunk all the time. This unique and meticulously crafted centerpiece is more proof of the divine intersection between the national pastime and…the other national pastime.
Written by James Bond himself (or, you know, an actual real-life spy), this eye-opening book is packed full of genuine, practical tips for self-protection, and is a great present for any loved one or friend. Guaranteed to come in handy during a kidnapping, mugging or zombie apocalypse, you might just save their life one day.
What could be better for serving drinks at the round table than a knight in shining armor packed full of liquor? This full suit of Gothic plate armor makes your home a castle while also defending guests and homeowners alike from the ravages of thirst. Sword not included.
In an ideal world, every home would have its own draft beer on tap. If that’s a gift you can afford, then by all means, please get them a draft beer tap. For the rest of us, there is the next best thing. This beer dispenser uses sound waves and pressure to transform any canned or bottled beer into beer you would swear came fresh from the tap.
Think of what the coolest cooler would be like. It would keep drinks cold, obviously, but it would also do other stuff too, right? Like play music on a splash-proof Bluetooth speaker, have a built-in blender that can crush ice, and even be able to charge your phone. That’s why this cooler is called the Coolest, and it is just that.
mBerry tablets are a natural product derived from berries that temporarily alter your perception of taste by binding to your taste buds and tricking your brain. It’s a pretty crazy experience and would make a memorable gift that they’ll be telling stories about for years. The tablets make sour and bitter things taste sweet. You can chow down on a lemon and swear it tastes like an orange. Vinegar tastes like apple juice. Hot sauce and spicy foods become sugary and beer tastes like Kool-aid.
Do you know someone who’s always in search of the perfect hot sauce? Well, maybe the answer is to let them make their own. This kit allows you to experiment with different pepper, spice, and vinegar combinations until you find the holy grail of hotness. No more excuses, just hot pepper perfection.
Along with abundance comes the responsibility not to bore the crap out of people by making the same silly casserole every night. The problem is that nobody wants to think that much about food. They just want to eat. Place the burden of creativity - and blame - on these ingenious foodie dice, and watch the possibilities multiply.
Different people learn in different ways. Not respecting those differences is a major reason the public education system has failed us so terribly. Some people learn visually, some learn by mimicking, and some learn by beer. This book is for the last group.
Sturdier, more convenient, and easier to handle than traditional kabob skewers. No more forgetting to buy skewers and having to eat raw steak and vegetables or cook with their bare hands. Not every brilliant solution has to be high tech. Some just make a lot of damn sense.
What better way to say that the pen is mightier than the sword? This knight pen holder will be their most loyal servant in all of their clerical crusades. Whether they’re battling with the bookkeeping or feuding with their filing, help will be at hand. And yes, their grocery lists deserve the royal treatment too.
If you know someone that has a bit of a competitive streak, we think we’ve got the perfect gift for them. Be prepared to go toe-to-toe with their bishops, knights and queens as you try to outmaneuver and outdrink them. In this game of chess it’s not just your king that needs to be last man standing.
If they've been feeling a little run down and deflated recently, give them a much-needed boost with this practical gift. They can use it to pump up their car and bike tires, and they’ll be blowing up that inflatable pool in minutes – perfect for all those impromptu pool parties they’ll be throwing now!
Serenade your partner with this set of musical wine glasses and then get completely sloshed. The glasses need to have liquid in them to work, so, what are you going to do, just throw all that wine away? No, instead you will make beautiful music together until all the "inspiration" is gone.
Chances are you know someone that can really light up a room … and we’re not talking about their charismatic smile or doll-faced eyes! Keep those sulfur bombs in check with some iron-clad undies. These fashion-forward undergarments keep the toxic gases under wraps so that friends, family members and innocent strangers with a razor-sharp sense of smell won’t be subjected to senseless, noxious pollution of the lower region. Strap these babies on and let ’er rip!
Most of the time, we don’t exactly chronicle our relationships. We let the day-to-day fluctuations in our feelings, beliefs, and attitudes recede into the hazy distance of memory. Sometimes this works just fine, because if you need ammo for an argument you can just make things up, and sometimes the other person believes you, and then you win. Sort of. But not really. This journal provides daily questions for both partners to fill out over the course of three years, ranging from simple and straightforward to deeply introspective. A great way to look back and see how your thoughts and feelings have actually changed.
Few things are cooler to the retro-obsessed than an old-time typewriter. And few things are more annoying to listen to from the next cubicle. Bridge the gap with this typewriter-inspired mechanical keyboard from Azio. The look and feel of this classic Smith-Corona inspired keyboard will transport its owner to the distant past (sorry, we only mean that figuratively. This isn’t a time machine). Feel free to complete the ensemble with a cheap plastic visor, cigar, and scotch tumbler.
If humans were meant to fly, the logic goes, we would have been born with wings. Well, logic is an overrated buzzkill. Leaving the earth and relying on your own wits to return in one piece is something everyone should experience. Give the middle finger to gravity and biological destiny.
There are very few authentic Viking activities that are acceptable in modern society. So for the most part, we have to take what we can get. Drinking from a real, ethically harvested Viking-style bull horn drinking vessel is one of those acceptable activities. And drinking from a Viking horn vessel is more than just acceptable — it’s a recognized sign of strength, power, and valor. And in some cases, perhaps mild psychotic tendencies. But nothing society isn’t set up to handle.
People love venturing into nature for the near mystical experience of being connected with our pre-civilized roots. We feel a strong, implacable pull toward wild places like the desert and the forest. The problem is, nature really just wants to eat you. This book tells you how not to let that happen.
Like the commissioned public statues of old, the most revered among us are now immortalized in bobblehead form. In fact, being commemorated with a bobblehead is one of the highest honors that a modern man or woman can aspire to. Surely you know someone who is worthy of such a gift, whose contributions to society and their fellow travelers makes this an appropriate gesture of respect and admiration. Go ahead, place them among the great figures of history. They’ve earned it.
These are the sorts of mishaps that you would expect to find in a Salvador Dali landscape - bullets, shark teeth, poker chips, starfish, and other assorted items lodging themselves in the sides of fully-formed drinking glasses. These glasses are the perfect way to help fill out a surrealist’s bar cabinets and unique way to tell someone that life is about to get very weird.
We’re not sure how far the constitution goes as far as ring marks on tables are concerned, but if you know someone who’s passionate about defending their household surfaces then you might just hit a bullseye with this present. This set of heavy duty coasters are as much a conversation starter as they are a conservation effort so we’d definitely take a shot on them if we were you.
You could just get them a gift card to a spa or for a massage, but why not go for a more interesting experience like cryotherapy? It’s basically a box you get into to get blasted by ridiculously cold air for a short period of time. Advocates say that the treatment rejuvenates the body and helps repair tissue damage. If your town doesn't have a cryotherapy place yet you could try a bathtub full of ice and a big fan.
This killer accessory is hardly a gag gift. The recipient of this fine headwear will be commanding respect on the racquetball court and sopping up sweat in style while weed whacking the front lawn. There’s something irresistibly strapping about mullets, and there’s no doubt they’ll reemerge as a hairdo trend if not in this decade, certainly the next. Of course, the lucky stallion that’s sporting this feathered mane has to have the proper attitude to match and that just can’t be taught, so give wisely, my friend!
If your whirlwind romance feels like a blur, maybe it’s time to start sorting through the gigabytes of digital memories so you can design a hard-copy keepsake. Not only will it breathe new life into treasured snippets of time long past, but it will become a priceless memento decades from now, when you may have trouble remembering who the heck this grumpy companion lying next to you is.
Great art doesn’t always take the form you’re expecting. Twitter gives everyone with a phone and an opinion to spare the chance to reach millions of people with a single ill-conceived utterance. With all that verbal garbage coursing through the airwaves, bizarre gems are certain to arise. Lest they drift away and go to waste, someone had the brilliant idea to start framing them. Move over Picasso, it’s time to make room for the real modern art.
In a couple of generations, nobody’s even going to know what the hell a book is. Have you seen a teenager try to figure out how to use one of their parents’ audio cassettes? But for those of us in the know, books are the real source of pure knowledge and wisdom, untainted by the runoff of digital culture. Like a cold, clear mountain stream, but with words.
Literature and booze have long been intertwined in an unholy alliance of sorts, but this book-shaped flask container takes that tradition and makes it into a real-life, physical metaphor. And unlike most metaphors, this one can help you get drunk on the sly. What looks like an innocuous, nondescript book - the kind filled up with words and ideas and whatnot - is nothing but a devious ploy to camouflage a secret stash of the old firewater. Oh, the devilry they’ll get away with now.
What’s the point of moving or traveling if you’re going to do the same things you’ve always done when you get there? Give this anywhere travel guide to someone who’s going away and needs some ideas on how to battle boredom. Cards feature prompts that suggest activities they probably wouldn’t think of if left to their own devices.
If they’re anything like us, they’re not wild about some anonymous person manhandling their pork. The problem is, of course, that someone has to turn it into bacon. A make your own bacon kit is the perfect gift for someone who really wants to take control of their lives, starting with the most important parts.
When you’re trying to figure out the most efficient way to do something, it always pays to look to nature first. And what more efficient shredders of animal flesh can you find than the majestic wild bear? Those legendary feral mauling machines were the inspiration for these expertly crafted meat shredding hand extensions. Durable, super sharp, and comfortable enough to forget they’re even there, the original Bear Paw meat shredders will revolutionize any cook’s bbq life.
A business suit is meant to signal power, competence, and trustworthiness. But now, thanks to these love letter cufflinks, it can be made to carry around little secret messages of devotion and appreciation too. Just pop open the miniature envelope, and out comes a tiny bronze letter engraved with a personalized message reminding them what really matters. Just the moral support they’ll need while watching their boss foam at the mouth about missing TPS reports for the seventh month in a row.
Nothing makes you feel more at home in a foreign place than knowing the right way to tell someone to go f*ck himself. Don’t let a traveler you know venture off into the great unknown without arming them first with this essential guidebook. No matter where you end up on this great planet of ours, respect follows those who command the rough outer edges of the language.
Back in the day, carrying power with you meant having a pocket full of batteries. But sometimes 9-volt batteries would get short-circuited by your pocket change and heat up or explode on your leg, so you had to add potential medical bills to the cost of ownership. Or maybe that was just an urban legend. Either way, a mobile power bank will charge all your electronic devices, and you definitely don’t have to worry about meltdowns. Just way better all around.
A book is more than just a collection of words and ideas. It’s a frozen piece of time — the intersection of one person’s (or sometimes multiple peoples’) thoughts and experiences with the moment in which they were recorded. So sometimes a 50th reprint of To Kill a Mockingbird just doesn’t seem to carry the same weight that it should. Serious book lovers love first editions, because they’re a tangible piece of cultural history.
Nothing quite makes an impression like someone who has a giant tool and knows how to handle it. Get everybody within a half-mile radius drunk in one fell swoop with this absurdly proportioned mixology shaker. A brain-cell smiter of truly biblical proportions.
The John Wayne Handy Book for Men is far more than the name would indicate. This is no simple “handyman’s book,” nor should it be when it bears the name of history’s most famous tele-cowboy. This goes far beyond simple skills like repairing household items. Legend has it that all J.W. had to do was glare at a broken piece of machinery, and it fixed itself. No, this book holds the secrets to the more esoteric arts of the male repertoire, like building a fire, talking to ladyfolk, and raising children that aren’t a blight on society. Don’t let them ride off into the sunset without it.
It’s no longer reasonable to allow your writing utensils to do single duty. These days, a pen that does nothing but write is a child’s toy. Actually, it’s even worse than that, because kids know better than to write by hand, what with all the voice recognition apps they have within arms reach at all times. That means pens are functionally useless. Let that sink in a minute. But not this pen, because it’s also several other things that can help the user accomplish something important. This is no gimmick. It’s a revolutionary tool, and the world will never be the same.
When was the last time you were truly challenged by your nuts? That’s the idea behind the Death Nuts line of super spicy peanuts for crazy people. This isn’t a “sit in front of the TV and relax” brand of nuts. This is the “Oh God, what was I thinking, why do I make so many bad choices” peanut. The culinary equivalent of self-flagellation. Except taking the Death Nut Challenge doesn’t earn you any points with God. Just a good hour of blinding pain that you didn’t even know was possible.
The morning drinker: one of the most misunderstood fellow citizens. Once imbued with the spark of firewater, they can do anything, especially if it’s delivered with the bold energy rush of caffeine. You think we should eradicate morning drinking? Well, you can kiss all your favorite novels goodbye then, because all great authors are drunk by 10 am. But I guess if you want to try tricking someone out of their morning cup of whiskey, this would be the best way.
You have no idea how weird the world is. Yeah, we know, you’ve seen your 400 lb next door neighbor dancing to the Bee Gees in his underwear through the front window at 2 in the morning. Take our word for it: that’s nothing. Anyone with a touch of wanderlust and an appreciation for the bizarre will cherish this book.
After a long day at work, they’ll love to come home and fall face-first into the inviting crevices of this butt-shaped head haven. But this is not just a gag gift — this pillow happens to be a great shape to accommodate any sleeping position. With real butt-like tactile qualities, a silky inner lining, and removable yoga pant cover, they’ll look forward to stuffing their face right up in there every night. Soft, comforting, and ergonomical — they’ve never experienced booty sleep like this.
Though it is roundly considered bad taste to put socks on your face, no taboo exists against doing the opposite. In fact, rocking a pair of face socks is likely to thrust one several notches up the status meter. It’s one of the most underutilized fashion secrets known to modern man (and modern woman). The ancient books counsel that power and prestige await those who carry the human countenance upon their footwear. These are truly the gateway to greater things.
Everyone likes a nice stiff after-dinner drink, but sometimes you get tired of swearing at strangers and getting in fights with the sheriff. What’s a country boy to do? A great gift for anyone who’s looking to tone it down a notch but can’t give up the taste of that sweet Kentucky nectar. Or anyone who wants an extra special kick to start the day.
Good and bad are always subjective, an eternal truth reinforced by these confusingly labeled shot glasses. They’re also primarily determined in retrospect, which means the moment of decision is not the time to worry about such trivial concepts anyway. A very philosophical gift for someone entering a philosophical phase of life.
For the person who’ll try anything once, why not pop them in a local isolation tank and deprive them of their senses for an hour or so, see what happens? It might make them feel super relaxed and chilled-out. It could even be an enlightening experience. Or, it might just make them feel lucky to be alive when you finally let them out!
There’s an old saying that goes, “Nobody wants to see how the sausage is made.” Well, beer isn’t sausage, though they do go very well together. And everyone wants to see how the beer is made. Brewery tours exist to prove that beer, despite all appearances, is not in fact a magical substance. It’s created by ordinary people with ordinary people hands and no magic wands or other supernatural interference. It’s just a bunch of natural processes that happen to be exceptionally awesome. Take a beer enthusiast behind the scenes to witness the (non)magic in person with this local brewery finder.
No matter how much you love each other, you know that sometimes you need a little outside help to keep things running smoothly. The Activity Book for Couples is basically a book of prompts designed to get you and your partner to talk about things you’ve probably never even considered, and have a good laugh while doing it. If your idea of “together time” has turned into watching three hours of Netflix on the same couch, this might be just the thing for you.
If they're big on cookouts but small on yard space, perhaps a compact fold-up grill could be the answer. Easy to take with them on whatever adventures they have in store, and a bag of charcoal will last forever with this thing.
In truth, we’ve all got a jar of romantic memories in our brains, though they’re not always the most reliable (just ask anyone who’s ever forgotten an anniversary). So it’s always better to make sure you’ve got the hard copy. And in a digital world, real life gifts like this can feel even more special and thoughtful. There’s no limit to what you can scribble down on your memory tickets, so when the jar fills up and you go digging through this thing, expect a few surprises.
It’s an underappreciated fact of the animal kingdom that all of its members can be made into jerky. Except maybe insects and jellyfish. And Sasquatch — but that’s only because you’ll never catch him. Everything else is fair game for the jerky racket. And once you’ve tried Buffalo Bob’s full array of exotic jerky offerings, you’ll understand that jerkyhood is perhaps the highest state that animals can achieve — like a sort of physical enlightenment. But delicious.
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for you to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get someone to mail them to you. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
Who has time for trial and error? Folks today demand fast-acting, proven solutions to their everyday conundrums. A modern stand-in for the tried and trusted Farmer’s Almanac, this back pocket companion is more reliable than your great-grandmother and more concise than an open-ended Google search. Believe it or not, some of the “smartest” solutions have been around for ages.
We are intelligent survivors by nature. Despite its ominous name, a worst case scenario can be a lot of fun, provided you have the tools available to pull a MacGyver-like exit. This little kit can save someone’s life over and over again. Check that, only their primal genius can save their life. But this lends a helping hand.
Surely you’ve got plenty of memories to mark the passage of time together, but it’s good to have some numbers to back up your feelings. And it’ll be interesting to see the look on your spouse/partner’s face when they’re confronted with the irrefutable evidence that yes, you really have been together for an absurdly large number of days. But even more than that, a Days Together mug serves as a reminder of the substantial investment you’ve both made. In economics they refer to it as “sunk cost,” and it’s a healthy motivator.
Certain small items like keys, wallet, and sunglasses have a bad habit of getting lost when they’re most needed, so it’s nice to have a dedicated spot for them. Ikea probably has a solution for that, but for the love of god, it’s time to stop relying on the Swedish to solve all of your problems. This nice man in Oregon put together a very unique bowl that would look great on someone’s coffee table.
Take a friend back to their glory days on the streets of Hong Kong with this authentic bubble waffle maker. All they have to do is fill this bad boy with their favorite waffle batter, close the lid, and within a few minutes they’ve got their very own homemade version of one of the world’s most iconic street foods. Add in a stockpile of cheap batter and a few cases of whipped cream, and this could literally keep them alive for years.
Video game arcades in every town may be a thing of the past, but with the 80s revival that’s washed over the western world, demand has spiked again for old-time video games that look like they were designed by an 8-year old and housed in giant man-sized boxes. And for good reason: they’re so much fun that you could lose your entire childhood chasing the high score in Asteroids. Don’t ask how we know that.
Feeling small and insignificant? Looking for that larger than life feeling? Need to jump safely from a great height? Try an inflatable suit. They’re great fun for any occasion, especially for first impressions, and they really make you stand out in a crowd. Inflatable suits are perfect for blind dates, job interviews, concerts or events where personal space may be limited, pushing your way to the front of the line, casual Fridays, motorcycle safety, airplane travel, hiding in pillows, and more.
Insomniacs often say they’ve tried everything in order to get to sleep. But in reality, how many insomniacs have ever tried hypnotizing themselves with a pulsating blue light? Well, here’s your chance to call bullsh*t on them. Making use of an age-old meditative technique, the insomniac sleep inducer helps people enter the land of a thousand winks by synchronizing and slowly lowering the frequency of their breathing. After that, it’s nothing but hours of the old snoozy-woozy.
No light shines as bright as the light of wisdom. Even better if that wisdom is delivered in weird syntax that makes you stop what you’re doing to figure out what you’re being told. That is, after all, Yoda’s whole schtick. Clever little bastard. This intricately crafted lamp includes one of his best-known motivational slogans — imploring the world, more or less, to “just do it.” Seriously, if you know any over-the-top Star Wars fans, just get this for them. It’s as close to a can’t miss gift as you’ll ever find.
There are plenty of ways that couples grow closer, become more alike, and eventually merge into a single organism. Girding your loins with the same fabric is one of them. It’s as natural as adopting each other’s vocabulary, sharing your mannerisms, learning to eat new foods, and eventually starting to look like each other. This is the normal progression of life, and this is the brand that would like to help you take the next step.
Set the mood and get the party started with your favorite bottle of wine and some condoms. We're talking about wine condoms of course. The funniest way to protect against unplanned accidents when you're fully uncorked. While this may seem like a useless novelty it actually does create an airtight and watertight seal on any size bottle, preserving its freshness while creating the types of highly awkward moments that often go along with downing a bottle of wine.
There’s nothing better than when someone goes and solves a problem you didn’t know you had, without even being asked. Such is the case with this pocket knife style key organizer. Among the benefits afforded by this ingenious device are increased pocked comfort, improved aesthetics, and the ability to slip into one’s house soundlessly, like a thief. It’s really superior to the old-style keychain in every conceivable way. With this ultra-durable and lightweight key organizer made of aircraft aluminum, they’ll be soaring high on the winds of convenience and comfort.
Turn any room into a game room without ruining the elegant vibe they’ve worked so hard to cultivate. Foosball is a game of the people, making the great sport of soccer accessible to everyone, even the tragically out-of-shape and terminally uncoordinated. And old school tabletop games like foosball give people a real world gathering place, so they can get off the damn interwebs for a while and learn how to engage in face-to-face communication. It’ll be awkward at first, but they’ll get used to it. Speaking of which, this table makes a great conversation piece.
Whether you’re buying for a musician, concert lover, club DJ, raver, or other seeker of loud noises, ear protection is a must. But not all earplugs are created equal. Those made from traditional materials like foam just make everything sound dull. Specialized earplugs from Loop or Vibes, on the other hand, bring the decibels down to safe levels while letting the most important frequencies through so they can hear the music the way it was supposed to sound, but without melting their eardrums.
Technology has been an ongoing boon to music makers and music lovers alike, but the downside is that anyone with a personal music collection has had a rough time keeping up over the last forty years or so. A 7-in-1 music player (AM, FM, CD, vinyl, cassette, bluetooth, and auxiliary in) allows them to get some use out of all that accumulated music without needing a room full of stereo equipment.
For many people, using chopsticks is a skill that defies mastery. Like a hopeful Zen master sitting in the forest year after year, trying to hear the sound of one hand clapping, time after time the hapless chopsticker comes up empty. Even after years of dedicated effort, the Hunan style broccoli cascades back to the plate long before it reaches the lips. So once again, The Force comes to the rescue. These are the only chopsticks that carry The Force. At long last, problem solved.