There’s nothing more annoying than running out of batteries – except maybe having your coworker constantly asking if you have any batteries. No, Sarah, I don’t. Or I would be using them to make my own sh***y wireless mouse work, wouldn’t I? Buying your coworker this stash of batteries can only be a good thing, for everyone involved.
For your more ‘experimental’ colleague who likes to ‘push the boundaries’ and ‘try new things’ (yawn), why not give them this delicious ‘gift’ and wipe that smug, new-experience-loving smile off their face. Then again, it can’t taste any worse than the coffee in the canteen at work… maybe they are the real winner here.
Fred, is that you? Encased in jello? Oh no, sorry, I see now - it’s a giant gummy bear. Give your sweetest-toothed colleague this calorific treat and watch as they slowly devour him, one body part at a time, in a kind of perverse, reverse Build-A-Bear scenario. God bless America.
Who wouldn’t want to smell like the best substance in the entire world? Perfect for your cocoa-loving colleague who relies on chocolate to get through the day – now instead of a bar of Hershey’s, they’ll simply be able to lick their wrist for a quick fix. Think of the calories you’ll save them!
A strange, ink-like friend who lives in a jar, and can be disfigured and distorted with magnets for your own weird fascination? You just know this is the perfect co-worker gift for that guy down the corridor who still lives in his mom’s basement and likes to tell anyone who’ll listen about his ‘experiments’.
Looking to convince your boss she should pay for the free bar at the Christmas party? Mike from Sales that he wants you as team leader on that project? I.T. Jane that she should take a chance on your dinner invitation? These customized fortune cookies are the perfect mutually beneficial coworker gift.
They might look like strange sea creatures or spindly metal spiders, but these spine-tingling scalp massagers will be adored by even your most arachnophobic colleague. The perfect gift to take the stress out of their day – just make it clear from the offset that you won’t be the one operating it for them!
We’ve all heard of Ikea hacks, and, well, life is arguably just as important as Ikea, so why shouldn’t there be a book about these too? Ideal for your co-worker who is always looking for ways to make life easier and cheaper. Sheila from the 2nd Floor, perhaps? We all know she’s been smuggling printer paper out for year
Ok, take a moment to think about the long game here. Your team is up against the rest of the company at the annual staff quiz. Pete’s by your side. The question comes up – what’s the symbol for Plutonium? You look at Pete. He looks at you. He thinks of that glowing coaster you gave him. He smiles.
This fruity little invention is a great way to make your boozy colleague feel healthier, even as they top up the alcohol content in their thick beer-blood. The perfect centerpiece for their summer BBQ, you’re sure to be top of their invite list after this gift – just make sure to bring a melon!
Written by James Bond himself (or, you know, an actual real-life spy), this eye-opening book is packed full of genuine, practical tips for self-protection, and is a great present for any colleague or friend. Guaranteed to come in handy during a kidnapping, mugging or zombie apocalypse, you might just save their life one day.
Ostriches can be terrifying beasts, especially when tired – and who can blame them, wouldn’t you be bad-tempered if you had wings but couldn’t fly? For your colleague who always takes a nap at lunch, this light and sound cancelling pillow will make sure they emerge fresh and amiable, unlike the ill-tempered ostrich they were 20 minutes earlier.
Meow-zers! This, ahem, ‘unusual’ book is the perfect gift for your co-worker who chooses to co-habit with felines over humans (which, to be honest, is entirely understandable). He or she will finally have a use for all that wiry ginger hair that usually clings to them – perhaps they can weave themselves an actual jacket.
A literal investment in your co-worker’s future, these stock gift cards will finally afford your downbeat colleague a glimmer of hope. Maybe, if they play this card right, they could one day be the new owner of Google, with a private jet and island to go with… That’s how you sell it to them, anyway.
Unless you have a relative by the name of Richard Branson, your colleagues are unlikely to believe this is real for more than a few seconds. But, in that moment, you’ll see the flash of pure joy as their dreams are realized - before it all comes crashing down and they hate you more than ever.
For your colleague who can’t be trusted with a real pet (we’ve all heard the story of what happened to Hammy the Hamster back in third grade), give them this gift of a manageable animal, that doubles up as a quirky home decoration. Also, great for owners of balloon dogs (an increasingly rare breed).
For the 6-year-old child within you, this super-smart paper airplane will provide you and your best work buddy with hours of entertainment. Dive-bombing Dave from Purchasing while pretending to be texting and trying not to catch each other’s eye is a surefire way to ease some of your daily stress.
For your paranoid co-worker who’s convinced they’re about to be the victim of cyber fraud and conned out of the millions they presumably earned while moonlighting as a high-class escort / cyber fraudster, this clever preventative gadget is sure to be a well-received gift. They might even thank you with a share of their counterfeit banknotes!
If you’re looking for a gift for a coworker but can’t quite put your finger on what to get them, look no further because this one gets a big thumbs up from us. If they thought that having opposable thumbs was useful enough, they’ve never come across the even more useful USB thumb. It’s also a safer alternative than sticking their own fingers in the side of their computer.
It can be really frustrating when you’re away on an overseas business trip, soaking up the culture but not being able to order a drink at a bar or buy, well, anything at all really. At least with this handy book they’ll be able to air their frustrations in the local lingo and hopefully alert someone to their need for a helping hand…if they haven’t offended them first.
Does your coworker seem to have far too much time on their hands? Get them this futuristic cooking contraption, that swirls the water as it heats it, or heats it as it cooks it, or something… to be honest, we’re not quite sure what it does (no one is), but foodies and MasterChef fans will love it.
For the coworker who is happy in almost every aspect of his life, except for one thing. He just can’t seem to master flipping his skewers. It’s making him the butt of the joke at every barbecue he (tries) to host. ‘Look at Steve, turning each of those kebabs individually! They’re completely uneven’. Save him from this ridicule, please.
This gift could go one of two ways – for a thoughtful present, make the completed jigsaw map show the address where your colleague was born, lives now, or is a special place in their heart. For a passive-aggressive gift, put in the address of the local Krispy Kreme, that they can no longer visit since their diabetes diagnosis.
For that colleague you actually quite like – you know, Emma from upstairs who always brings in apple pie, or Big Al who tells inappropriate jokes at serious work moments – what better gift than this, one that could actually save their life one day, and keep them around to feed and entertain you. There was a selfless intention there somewhere…
If you and colleagues are always saying Joe needs to get himself a brain, don’t wait for him to figure it out (seriously, he won’t, he’s brainless), use your own brain and give him these cerebral coasters. Let’s just hope he uses them wisely, and doesn’t spill fruit juice on his frontal lobe. It’s a real concern.
If you’re struggling to find a gift for your open-mouthed, boggle-eyed coworker – the one that looks a bit like that guy in The Human Centipede 2 (if you haven’t seen it, don’t) – how about a nice fisheye smartphone camera lens, so they can finally take photos that reflect the distorted, screwed-up way they see the world?
Hey, you never know, you could be working with the next Wolf of Wall Street – he just hasn’t discovered his stockbroker talents yet! Help your co-worker in his Pursuit of Happiness by giving him this financial board game, and you might soon be starring in his autobiographical, rags-to-riches blockbuster. Now, who would play you…?
Finally, an actual use for modern technology! For your coworker who fancies themselves as a bit of a Carrie from Sex and the City – in that they have too many shoes, a lot of Big problems, and enjoy a Cosmo or seven – this cocktail mixing gift is guaranteed to go down like a, well, Cosmo.
If NASA uses it, it must be astronomically good, right? Ha. Ha. But seriously, for your coworker who’s always complaining about another terrible night’s sleep and giving everyone a courtside view of their tonsils as they yawn, this sleep-promoting gadget is a thoughtful gift that will benefit you all.
We know what you’re thinking. Think again – rocketing sushi around your office might not prove as fun as it seems at first. Non-rocket sushi is awesome, though, so why not help nourish your coworkers’ addiction? It’ll be easier on their wallets when they start rolling their own (and hopefully they’ll share).
They say every man is an island, but for your colleague who doesn’t have any friends in his archipelago, this Cast Away themed gift could be a hilarious / painfully poignant choice. His Wilson will be his companion, on the lifeboat that is your workplace, in a sea of loneliness and unemployment… ok, enough now.
The perfect gift for your co-worker who struggles to leave their fluffy unicorn slippers at home in the morning- cough, um, did we say unicorn? We meant stylish sheepskin moccasins, obviously. Anyway, these cozy shoe liners will make them feel nice and warm and sleepy… oh no, Jeff’s fallen asleep at his desk again.
Because nothing says, ‘Happy Birthday, and I hope you have a super fun day’ to your coworker like the gift of a taser. Could make a good gift for Mia, who keeps being hit on by Sleazeball Sean – there isn’t anyone in the office who wouldn’t secretly love to see him convulsing in pain on the floor, right?
For those (admittedly rare) occasions when their wine rack is empty, and they can’t get to the liquor store, your coworker is sure to appreciate this wine making kit as their last resort. Until, that is, they realize it takes a month to brew, and they collapse in a sobbing, sober heap on the kitchen floor, cursing the day you were born.
For your eternally optimistic (or deluded) co-worker, who still believes they might one day find love and have need to cook spaghetti for more than one person, this handy measuring tool is a great gift idea. And if they never find their soulmate, at least they’ll be able to comfort eat in horse-like proportions.
Och aye the noo! This might just be the most awesome gift anyone has given a colleague, ever. Transform them instantly from lowly office worker sharing a tiny one bed apartment with three other lowly office workers, to a literal king (alright, Laird or Lady) of the castle. They even get their own tartan.
When you’re having a bad day at work, there’s nothing like a ruined lunch to push you over the edge. For your colleague who’s always bringing in leftovers wrapped in aluminum foil, revolutionize their lunchtimes with some fancy food containers. No more soggy sandwiches or limp lettuce – you might just have saved them from a full, standing-on-their-desk-throwing-staplers meltdown.
For your coworker who is always thirsty and hungry – seriously, he gets up like 90 times a day – consider the gift of an edible cup. What’s Frank doing now? Oh, he’s eating tableware. Classic Frank. But these tasty cups are biodegradable, and save plastic alternatives from ending up in our oceans. Frank’s actually an eco-warrior.
The perfect gift for a colleague who is often lost in storms, this radio will warn them of impending meteorological doom, allowing them to find shelter (or get home from work!) in time. It will also keep their phone charged, so they can keep their Facebook friends fully up-to-date with their escapades.
So, here’s a cute little piglet, some pig food, a knife and an instruction manual… Just kidding! It’s actually a bit of an already dead pig, with cures and flavorings for your foodie co-worker to transform it into tasty bacon. Probably not a good gift for vegetarians (unless you really don’t like them).
Has that wonky picture of the two birds behind Brian’s desk always made your left eye twitch? But, it would be weird to go over there just to straighten it, right? Now’s the time to fix that, by giving him this handy picture hanging device. Guaranteed to make even your most laidback colleague display OCD tendencies.
Tired of all the slow popsicle making techniques out there? Finding you’re waiting too long for that frozen refreshment on a balmy day? Aren’t we all. Give your co-worker this speedy popsicle maker, and reap the rewards in as little as 7 minutes. Because they’re bound to leave it at work for you all to use…. aren’t they?!
Sandra, my working day orbits around you (because you pay my wages). You are the moon to my stars. The sun to my Earth. The black hole that devours any glimmer of light from my already empty abyss of a Universe… Whatever you want to say to your coworker, this quirky necklace sums it up perfectly.
Finally, some genius has noticed that ‘ginger’ rhymes with ‘ninja’ and transformed the humble gingerbread man into a contortionist Jackie Chan would be proud of. What’s next – Parrot Cake? Chocolate Chip Wookies? Still, a great gift for a ginger-haired colleague, these should certainly ‘spice’ up the office charity bake sale.
Wow, who’s the hot new Viking in cubicle 9… oh no, wait, it’s just Matthew, with that stupid hat on again. For your pre-pubescent colleague who has only ever managed a few straggly chin hairs, this bushy beard and hat combo is everything he (or she) has always dreamed of. From nothing to Norse warrior in 3 seconds flat.
A cool gift for a classy coworker – or your resident beer-guzzling buffoon – this bullet-shaped bottle opener is sure to go down, well, like a cool beer on a sunny afternoon. Plus, it looks a bit like a pen, so your colleague can keep it in their desk drawer without arousing suspicion. The six pack of beers on the other hand…
Because normal water is just so, like, mainstream. For your co-worker who wants to be ‘different’ and ‘alternative’, give them this sparkling water maker, so they can make their own cool carbonated drinks. They’ll be concocting an edgy elderflower and blackcurrant soda, or a hipster avocado and coconut spritz in no time. Yum.
By now we know that the old hysteria about coffee being bad for your health was nonsense. In fact it’s fantastic for you. So take that, food police. Now someone went and made fermented coffee, which is also great for your digestive tract. The fermentation process also removes the bitterness and acidity from the bean, so your tongue will be grateful as well.
For when your boss is away on a conference, this fun twist on the much more sinister classic will help you and your colleagues pass the time. Just make sure the boss has definitely gone. Otherwise, you might struggle to explain why you’re soaking wet, covered in bits of rubber and screaming at the guy in cubicle 4.
If you’re looking for a subtle way to tell your coworker that they always have spinach in their teeth, look no further than these whisky flavored toothpicks. On the plus side, you’ll no longer have to look at the salad growing in their mouth. On the downside, their breath will smell faintly of Scotch forevermore.
Ideal for your colleague named Bob, or anyone who likes burgers a little too much (we’re thinking Big Dave?) this pun-filled recipe book is packed full of strange creations from the TV series, and is sure to be a well-received gift. Just make sure to avoid the break room while Dave devours his Foot Feta-ish Burger – awkward.
For the weird-food-loving Charles Boyle of your Brooklyn Nine-Nine-esque workplace, what better gift than this high-end, culinary creation kit mixed with science experiment? Just make sure you get an invite to their next dinner party – the chocolate spaghetti and edible bubbles are sure to catapult you back to your Kindergarten days.
In our crazy modern world, who has the patience to wait more than a day for their online purchases, or to watch one episode a week of their favorite series, instead of a 10-hour binge? Not your desk-mate Joe, that’s for sure – you once saw him eat a Snickers with the wrapper still on. That’s why he’ll love this gift.
Probably the kind of gift that will get an initial reaction of a raised eyebrow and a ‘gee… thanks’, your coworker will take it all back if they ever get trapped in a car. Also, if they end up leaving your place to pursue that career in escapology they’ve always dreamed of. Hey, even Houdini had to start somewhere!
Everyone likes a nice stiff after-dinner drink, but sometimes you get tired of swearing at strangers and getting in fights with the sheriff. What’s a country boy to do? A great gift for the coworker who’s looking to tone it down a notch but can’t give up the taste of that sweet Kentucky nectar. Or anyone who wants an extra special kick to start the day.
A beautiful and thoughtful gift for any music-loving colleague, this make your own music box is likely to transport the recipient back in time – just be aware it could also kick-start a long and wistful monologue about their youth and days gone by. Settle in, you’re in it for the long haul.
For your less adventurous coworker who brings in chicken, rice and veggies every single lunchtime without fail, these quirky foodie dice will shake them out of their comfort zone and stir up some new meal combinations. Who knows – tomorrow they might have rice, veggies and chicken. Or even pork. Mind = blown.
Nemo, is that you? You’ve found him! That’s what your co-worker will be gleefully exclaiming when you hand over the gift of this giant flying fish. Perfect for marine biologists and pescatarians, this fun toy will love flying around your workplace – and, you’ve already got next year’s gift in the bag. Dory!
Much less painful to stand on than the real kind if your coworker happens to drop one on the floor, these edible Lego candy blocks make a great gift idea for any overgrown child in your building (every workplace has one, and if you think yours doesn’t, it’s probably you. So, enjoy!)
One for Glenda on reception who drives that beat-up old truck with the sunflowers in the window, the gift of an AAA membership will only be truly appreciated by your colleague when they’re stuck by the roadside at midnight with only the Emergency Road Service number to call… You’ll be their hero, without even leaving your cozy bed!
Probably not a good choice for your coworker who still thinks calculators are the height of modern technology, this cross between a tape measure and a computer might just tip them over the edge. For anyone else, particularly those partial to a spot of weekend DIY, this unique gift is sure to measure up nicely. Ha. Ha.
During the average lifetime, we spend approximately 92 days on the toilet – no wonder some genius gift-maker has created this noble toilet roll holder to help pass the time! Great for your colleague who’s always sneaking off with their phone in hand, now they’ll have a knight to keep them company on their throne!
Everyone loves cheese, right? Which means this is the perfect gift for literally any of your coworkers (except vegans, or those with dairy intolerance, or allergies… ok, not quite literally). It could also be a treat for you though – there’s nothing like a bit of Hector’s homemade halloumi to get you through those Monday morning meetings.
If one of your colleagues just won’t stop bringing in her ‘delicious’ homemade apple cakes (the ones which taste like cider vinegar and make the rest of you gag) take one for the team and gift your other colleagues these natural, taste-altering tablets, so at least you can stagger your visits to the bathroom to ‘recover’.
If you’ve ever had to borrow a colleague’s phone, only to pale at the sticky stuff on the screen and try to hold it as far away from your ear as possible, this is the gift for that colleague – a case which magically cleans their phone as it charges (ok, it’s lasers, not actual magic. We’ll contact Harry Potter).
At the end of a long working day, all you probably feel like doing is going home, putting your feet up and having your partner rub your shoulders to de-stress. Well, spare a thought for your colleague, Colin, who’s going home to an empty apartment, Chinese takeout (again) and a cat who can’t stand him… he needs this.
For a colleague who just loves the great outdoors, being ‘at one with nature’ and ‘living off the land’, give them this solar powered cooker, so they can prepare their meals the way their forefathers did, with nothing but the heat of the sun… oh no, wait, the forefathers invented fire for that. Our bad.
For that colleague who’s always trying to start debates about the origin of the Universe and the like, this book is the perfect replacement for your faux half-interest. Finally, your deep-thinking co-worker will have some answers to those big questions that keep them awake at night, and can stop bugging you – everybody wins!
Have a coworker with a long commute to the office? How about one that seems to use auto related excuses for why they are late a little too often? Help make sure they actually get to the workplace with a car emergency kit that solves the simple issues like a dead battery.
Help your coworkers learn more about the people around them than they could ever possibly want to know with the classic party game Never Have I Ever. The game is simple: each player takes turns drawing a card and reading the “Never have I ever…” statement out loud, answers truthfully, then hopes everyone is too drunk to remember what they said.
Kombucha is the ancient art of making tea into something half the people who try it will love and the other half will vomit back onto your carpet. The people who love it are objectively correct, because it makes you live forever (almost). Any coworker who has fallen head over heels for it will do the same for you if you buy them this homebrew kit.
Chocolates used to (and perhaps still do) come from factories run by shady recluses and populated by obese midget slaves. Or at least that’s what the video evidence suggests. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. Stick it to big business by giving your coworker this home chocolate making kit and help them join the artisan revolution. A whole new way to make chocolate “guilt free”.