If there’s someone at work who’s really been irritating you recently, why not help them on their way to diabetes with their favorite candy in super-size form. It might be playing the long game, but another 40 years of birthdays, Christmas and work anniversaries, and you’ll have the ultimate revenge!
Technically speaking, this is a rubber stamp, but colloquially speaking, using it is the opposite of rubber stamping. It allows the owner to send useless, insulting, and otherwise subpar documents back where they came from with the appropriate level of contempt. Slamming this thing face first into each page in a stack of shitty documents may be the highlight of your coworker’s day.
Everyone loves a drinking game, especially at 11am on a Wednesday after that presentation from hell… just kidding. However, giving your colleague this fun, boozy gift is probably the only thing that will make the work Christmas party bearable. Pre-gaming at Karen’s anyone? We’ll be there in a shot, or 6.
For your more ‘experimental’ colleague who likes to ‘push the boundaries’ and ‘try new things’ (yawn), why not give them this delicious ‘gift’ and wipe that smug, new-experience-loving smile off their face. Then again, it can’t taste any worse than the coffee in the canteen at work… maybe they are the real winner here.
Fred, is that you? Encased in jello? Oh no, sorry, I see now - it’s a giant gummy bear. Give your sweetest-toothed colleague this calorific treat and watch as they slowly devour him, one body part at a time, in a kind of perverse, reverse Build-A-Bear scenario. God bless America.
Who wouldn’t want to smell like the best substance in the entire world? Perfect for your cocoa-loving colleague who relies on chocolate to get through the day – now instead of a bar of Hershey’s, they’ll simply be able to lick their wrist for a quick fix. Think of the calories you’ll save them!
A strange, ink-like friend who lives in a jar, and can be disfigured and distorted with magnets for your own weird fascination? You just know this is the perfect coworker gift for that guy down the hall who still lives in his mom’s basement and likes to tell anyone who’ll listen about his ‘experiments’.
Looking to convince your boss she should pay for the free bar at the Christmas party? Mike from Sales that he wants you as team leader on that project? I.T. Jane that she should take a chance on your dinner invitation? These customized fortune cookies are the perfect mutually beneficial coworker gift.
They might look like strange sea creatures or spindly metal spiders, but these spine-tingling scalp massagers will be adored by even your most arachnophobic colleague. The perfect gift to take the stress out of their day – just make it clear from the offset that you won’t be the one operating it for them!
We’ve all heard of Ikea hacks, and, well, life is arguably just as important as Ikea, so why shouldn’t there be a book about these too? Ideal for your co-worker who is always looking for ways to make life easier and cheaper. Sheila from the 2nd Floor, perhaps? We all know she’s been smuggling printer paper out for year.
Written by James Bond himself (or, you know, an actual real-life spy), this eye-opening book is packed full of genuine, practical tips for self-protection, and is a great present for any colleague or friend. Guaranteed to come in handy during a kidnapping, mugging or zombie apocalypse, you might just save their life one day.
Meow-zers! This, ahem, ‘unusual’ book is the perfect gift for your co-worker who chooses to co-habit with felines over humans (which, to be honest, is entirely understandable). He or she will finally have a use for all that wiry ginger hair that usually clings to them – perhaps they can weave themselves an actual jacket.
Help your coworkers escape the stressors of the real world by venturing into the virtual land of, well, whatever some demented programmer came up with. Virtual reality applications are expanding all the time into areas no one ever thought of, and pretty soon everyone is going to want one of these. These VR headsets have come down in price a lot since they were introduced, making them an affordable gift that's out of this world.
A literal investment in your co-worker’s future, these stock gift cards will finally afford your downbeat colleague a glimmer of hope. Maybe, if they play this card right, they could one day be the new owner of Google, with a private jet and island to go with… That’s how you sell it to them, anyway.
Unless you have a relative by the name of Richard Branson, your colleagues are unlikely to believe this is real for more than a few seconds. But, in that moment, you’ll see the flash of pure joy as their dreams are realized - before it all comes crashing down and they hate you more than ever.
If you’ve got the kind of chilled out boss who lets you play games at work (or they’ve just given up on life and no longer care what you do), this quirky chess set is a clever gift for your colleague, as it’s something you’ll both enjoy - providing you’re their (check)mate of choice, of course!
For your paranoid co-worker who’s convinced they’re about to be the victim of cyber fraud and conned out of the millions they presumably earned while moonlighting as a high-class escort / cyber fraudster, this clever preventative gadget is sure to be a well-received gift. They might even thank you with a share of their counterfeit banknotes!
If you’re looking for a gift for a coworker but can’t quite put your finger on what to get them, look no further because this one gets a big thumbs up from us. If they thought that having opposable thumbs was useful enough, they’ve never come across the even more useful USB thumb. It’s also a safer alternative than sticking their own fingers in the side of their computer.
It can be really frustrating when you’re away on an overseas business trip, soaking up the culture but not being able to order a drink at a bar or buy, well, anything at all really. At least with this handy book they’ll be able to air their frustrations in the local lingo and hopefully alert someone to their need for a helping hand…if they haven’t offended them first.
A delicious gift for your colleague who always works late, this portable machine will make it feel less like they’re wasting their life in a glass prison, and more like they’re on a fun camping adventure. For the full experience, bring out the sleeping bag from under their desk, search ‘campfire songs’ on YouTube, and snuggle.
The 21st Century can be an overwhelming place – space exploration, nuclear weapons, Justin Bieber… This incredible encyclopedia provides a comprehensive insight into everything your coworker needs to know to get by. Great for keeping in their desk drawer and surprising you all with fascinating historical facts at 3pm on a rainy Tuesday.
This gift could go one of two ways – for a thoughtful present, make the completed jigsaw map show the address where your colleague was born, lives now, or is a special place in their heart. For a passive-aggressive gift, put in the address of the local Krispy Kreme, that they can no longer visit since their diabetes diagnosis.
For that colleague you actually quite like – you know, Emma from upstairs who always brings in apple pie, or Big Al who tells inappropriate jokes at serious work moments – what better gift than this, one that could actually save their life one day, and keep them around to feed and entertain you. There was a selfless intention there somewhere…
Finally, an actual use for modern technology! For your coworker who fancies themselves as a bit of a Carrie from Sex and the City – in that they have too many shoes, a lot of Big problems, and enjoy a Cosmo or seven – this cocktail mixing gift is guaranteed to go down like a, well, Cosmo.
If NASA uses it, it must be astronomically good, right? Ha. Ha. But seriously, for your coworker who’s always complaining about another terrible night’s sleep and giving everyone a courtside view of their tonsils as they yawn, this sleep-promoting gadget is a thoughtful gift that will benefit you all.
Much better than boring workplace handbooks and safety procedures, this hilarious book is perfect for your coworker who’s looking to brush up on some borderline dangerous knowledge he’ll probably never need. Plus, it’s a gift for you too - after all, who knows when you might need someone who knows how to crack a safe?
Of all the common workplace complaints - long hours, impossible expectations, a boss who can't be pleased - lunch theft is one of the most vexing. There's likely nothing your coworkers can do about many of these issues, but they can at least protect their lunch. Food Theft Deterrent Labels are a simple and effective way to keep those would-be food pirates at bay. Because food theft is just plain wrong. It's a violation of basic decency and an absurd problem to add to the list of challenges we face at work. The office can be a place of cutthroat competition, where everyone is trying to climb the same ladder no matter who they have to step on. It's just how the game is played. It doesn't mean this behavior should extend to the lunch room. Let us have our sandwiches.
For your blooming, booming co-worker, why not give them some daffodils made from dollar bills? You’ll probably want to use Monopoly money for this, unless you’re secretly moonlighting as a diamond smuggler. After all, with the salaries your boss pays, it’s probably the most money you and your colleagues have seen in one place, ever, right?
We know what you’re thinking. Think again – rocketing sushi around your office might not prove as fun as it seems at first. Non-rocket sushi is awesome, though, so why not help nourish your coworkers’ addiction? It’ll be easier on their wallets when they start rolling their own (and hopefully they’ll share).
They say every man is an island, but for your colleague who doesn’t have any friends in his archipelago, this Cast Away themed gift could be a hilarious / painfully poignant choice. His Wilson will be his companion, on the lifeboat that is your workplace, in a sea of loneliness and unemployment… ok, enough now.
The perfect gift for your co-worker who struggles to leave their fluffy unicorn slippers at home in the morning- cough, um, did we say unicorn? We meant stylish sheepskin moccasins, obviously. Anyway, these cozy shoe liners will make them feel nice and warm and sleepy… oh no, Jeff’s fallen asleep at his desk again.
Do you have a friend or coworker who still consults a magic eight ball for important decisions? Well, it’s time for them to grow up. Everyone knows the real wisdom lies in magnets. The sleek design of this modern divining tool is sure to get attention for its looks as well as its results. Give the gift of infallible prediction.
Because nothing says, ‘Happy Birthday, and I hope you have a super fun day’ to your coworker like the gift of a taser. Could make a good gift for Mia, who keeps being hit on by Sleazeball Sean – there isn’t anyone in the office who wouldn’t secretly love to see him convulsing in pain on the floor, right?
For those (admittedly rare) occasions when their wine rack is empty, and they can’t get to the liquor store, your coworker is sure to appreciate this wine making kit as their last resort. Until, that is, they realize it takes a month to brew, and they collapse in a sobbing, sober heap on the kitchen floor, cursing the day you were born.
For your eternally optimistic (or deluded) co-worker, who still believes they might one day find love and have need to cook spaghetti for more than one person, this handy measuring tool is a great gift idea. And if they never find their soulmate, at least they’ll be able to comfort eat in horse-like proportions.
Och aye the noo! This might just be the most awesome gift anyone has given a colleague, ever. Transform them instantly from lowly office worker sharing a tiny one bed apartment with three other lowly office workers, to a literal king (alright, Laird or Lady) of the castle. They even get their own tartan.
When you’re having a bad day at work, there’s nothing like a ruined lunch to push you over the edge. For your colleague who’s always bringing in leftovers wrapped in aluminum foil, revolutionize their lunchtimes with some fancy food containers. No more soggy sandwiches or limp lettuce – you might just have saved them from a full, standing-on-their-desk-throwing-staplers meltdown.
The perfect gift for a colleague who is often lost in storms, this radio will warn them of impending meteorological doom, allowing them to find shelter (or get home from work!) in time. It will also keep their phone charged, so they can keep their Facebook friends fully up-to-date with their escapades.
This fruity little invention is a great way to make your boozy colleague feel healthier, even as they top up the alcohol content in their thick beer-blood. The perfect centerpiece for their summer BBQ, you’re sure to be top of their invite list after this gift – just make sure to bring a melon!
So, here’s a cute little piglet, some pig food, a knife and an instruction manual… Just kidding! It’s actually a bit of an already dead pig, with cures and flavorings for your foodie co-worker to transform it into tasty bacon. Probably not a good gift for vegetarians (unless you really don’t like them).
Has that wonky picture of the two birds behind Brian’s desk always made your left eye twitch? But, it would be weird to go over there just to straighten it, right? Now’s the time to fix that, by giving him this handy picture hanging device. Guaranteed to make even your most laidback colleague display OCD tendencies.
The literal definition of a gift that keeps on giving, no co-worker could complain at receiving this thoughtful gift (seriously, what kind of person would that make them? You got this!) Much better than an iTunes gift card, a charitable donation helps those less fortunate - that’s right, some people can’t even afford an iPhone.
For the gelatinous co-worker who just seems to be drifting along in his own little bubble, but who freaks out when Jenny from accounts accidentally brushes his arm on her way past, make him feel less alone with these mesmerizing friends in a jar!
People get pretty picky about their hot sauces, which probably sounds weird if you’re not a spice-lover yourself. But it’s true – and blending their own would be like Chili Pepper Nirvana. Just be careful at the next office potluck… that’s some next-level sauce and they’re going to promise “oh, it’s not that hot.”
Tired of all the slow popsicle making techniques out there? Finding you’re waiting too long for that frozen refreshment on a balmy day? Aren’t we all. Give your co-worker this speedy popsicle maker, and reap the rewards in as little as 7 minutes. Because they’re bound to leave it at work for you all to use…. aren’t they?!
If you’re one of those rare people who feels like they just don’t spend enough time with their co-workers during the working week, why not get them tickets to a local event? Whether it’s a concert, baseball game or comedy night, who knows, they might even turn out to be normal humans outside of work.
Sandra, my working day orbits around you (because you pay my wages). You are the moon to my stars. The sun to my Earth. The black hole that devours any glimmer of light from my already empty abyss of a Universe… Whatever you want to say to your coworker, this quirky necklace sums it up perfectly.
The ultimate gift for your one, genuinely nice coworker, donate to a worthy cause in their name and leave you both with that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. A particularly good idea for Tina the crazy cat lady – she’ll love it if you donate to the local animal shelter and take care of her future adopted fur babies.
Finally, some genius has noticed that ‘ginger’ rhymes with ‘ninja’ and transformed the humble gingerbread man into a contortionist Jackie Chan would be proud of. What’s next – Parrot Cake? Chocolate Chip Wookies? Still, a great gift for a ginger-haired colleague, these should certainly ‘spice’ up the office charity bake sale.
Wow, who’s the hot new Viking in cubicle 9… oh no, wait, it’s just Matthew, with that stupid hat on again. For your pre-pubescent colleague who has only ever managed a few straggly chin hairs, this bushy beard and hat combo is everything he (or she) has always dreamed of. From nothing to Norse warrior in 3 seconds flat.
For your colleague who can’t be trusted with a real pet (we’ve all heard the story of what happened to Hammy the Hamster back in third grade), give them this gift of a manageable animal, that doubles up as a quirky home decoration. Also, great for owners of balloon dogs (an increasingly rare breed).
A cool gift for a classy coworker – or your resident beer-guzzling buffoon – this bullet-shaped bottle opener is sure to go down, well, like a cool beer on a sunny afternoon. Plus, it looks a bit like a pen, so your colleague can keep it in their desk drawer without arousing suspicion. The six pack of beers on the other hand…
For the 6-year-old child within you, this super-smart paper airplane will provide you and your best work buddy with hours of entertainment. Dive-bombing Dave from Purchasing while pretending to be texting and trying not to catch each other’s eye is a surefire way to ease some of your daily stress.
Because normal water is just so, like, mainstream. For your co-worker who wants to be ‘different’ and ‘alternative’, give them this sparkling water maker, so they can make their own cool carbonated drinks. They’ll be concocting an edgy elderflower and blackcurrant soda, or a hipster avocado and coconut spritz in no time. Yum.
For when your boss is away on a conference, this fun twist on the much more sinister classic will help you and your colleagues pass the time. Just make sure the boss has definitely gone. Otherwise, you might struggle to explain why you’re soaking wet, covered in bits of rubber and screaming at the guy in cubicle 4.
If you’re looking for a subtle way to tell your coworker that they always have spinach in their teeth, look no further than these whisky flavored toothpicks. On the plus side, you’ll no longer have to look at the salad growing in their mouth. On the downside, their breath will smell faintly of Scotch forevermore.
Does your coworker seem to have far too much time on their hands? Get them this futuristic cooking contraption, that swirls the water as it heats it, or heats it as it cooks it, or something… to be honest, we’re not quite sure what it does (no one is), but foodies and MasterChef fans will love it. Check out our Guide to Sous Vide Cooking to learn more about this underutilized method of cooking.
Ideal for your colleague named Bob, or anyone who likes burgers a little too much (we’re thinking Big Dave?) this pun-filled recipe book is packed full of strange creations from the TV series, and is sure to be a well-received gift. Just make sure to avoid the break room while Dave devours his Foot Feta-ish Burger – awkward.
For the weird-food-loving Charles Boyle of your Brooklyn Nine-Nine-esque workplace, what better gift than this high-end, culinary creation kit mixed with science experiment? Just make sure you get an invite to their next dinner party – the chocolate spaghetti and edible bubbles are sure to catapult you back to your Kindergarten days.
In our crazy modern world, who has the patience to wait more than a day for their online purchases, or to watch one episode a week of their favorite series, instead of a 10-hour binge? Not your desk-mate Joe, that’s for sure – you once saw him eat a Snickers with the wrapper still on. That’s why he’ll love this gift.
Probably the kind of gift that will get an initial reaction of a raised eyebrow and a ‘gee… thanks’, your coworker will take it all back if they ever get trapped in a car. Also, if they end up leaving your place to pursue that career in escapology they’ve always dreamed of. Hey, even Houdini had to start somewhere!
Everyone likes a nice stiff after-dinner drink, but sometimes you get tired of swearing at strangers and getting in fights with the sheriff. What’s a country boy to do? A great gift for the coworker who’s looking to tone it down a notch but can’t give up the taste of that sweet Kentucky nectar. Or anyone who wants an extra special kick to start the day.
If you’re struggling to find a gift for your open-mouthed, boggle-eyed coworker – the one that looks a bit like that guy in The Human Centipede 2 (if you haven’t seen it, don’t) – how about a nice fisheye smartphone camera lens, so they can finally take photos that reflect the distorted, screwed-up way they see the world?
A beautiful and thoughtful gift for any music-loving colleague, this make your own music box is likely to transport the recipient back in time – just be aware it could also kick-start a long and wistful monologue about their youth and days gone by. Settle in, you’re in it for the long haul.
For your less adventurous coworker who brings in chicken, rice and veggies every single lunchtime without fail, these quirky foodie dice will shake them out of their comfort zone and stir up some new meal combinations. Who knows – tomorrow they might have rice, veggies and chicken. Or even pork. Mind = blown.
Nemo, is that you? You’ve found him! That’s what your co-worker will be gleefully exclaiming when you hand over the gift of this giant flying fish. Perfect for marine biologists and pescatarians, this fun toy will love flying around your workplace – and, you’ve already got next year’s gift in the bag. Dory!
Much less painful to stand on than the real kind if your coworker happens to drop one on the floor, these edible Lego candy blocks make a great gift idea for any overgrown child in your building (every workplace has one, and if you think yours doesn’t, it’s probably you. So, enjoy!)
One for Glenda on reception who drives that beat-up old truck with the sunflowers in the window, the gift of an AAA membership will only be truly appreciated by your colleague when they’re stuck by the roadside at midnight with only the Emergency Road Service number to call… You’ll be their hero, without even leaving your cozy bed!
There’s nothing more annoying than running out of batteries – except maybe having your coworker constantly asking if you have any batteries. No, Sarah, I don’t. Or I would be using them to make my own sh***y wireless mouse work, wouldn’t I? Buying your coworker this stash of batteries can only be a good thing, for everyone involved.
Probably not a good choice for your coworker who still thinks calculators are the height of modern technology, this cross between a tape measure and a computer might just tip them over the edge. For anyone else, particularly those partial to a spot of weekend DIY, this unique gift is sure to measure up nicely. Ha. Ha.
Anybody who’s not wholly and purely evil would love the gift of fresh, on-demand ice cream at their desk, but here’s a ProTip: save this one for someone whose office isn’t too far away from yours. Just saying.
During the average lifetime, we spend approximately 92 days on the toilet – no wonder some genius gift-maker has created this noble toilet roll holder to help pass the time! Great for your colleague who’s always sneaking off with their phone in hand, now they’ll have a knight to keep them company on their throne!