BIRTHDAY GIFTS FOR BROTHER
In case you haven’t gotten the memo, we’re basically wrong about everything, and here’s the proof. Even the stuff you’re pretty sure you know is mostly wrong. And we’re not talking about getting complex math problems wrong or misjudging the character of your friends. We’re talking about basic, simple facts in topics like history and science — the stuff you’re supposed to learn in school. Yeah, it was all a big bundle of lies and misunderstandings. And if you look back over your life, perhaps that explains a lot.
The most important things in a person’s life aren’t things at all. They’re memories, experiences and relationships. This clever game is designed to help them recall stories and memories they haven’t thought of in years, and is a great way to reflect on the crazy path that has gotten them where they are today.
The world is full of natural and man-made wonders, and in the modern age we have the means to visit all of them, and furthermore to get there within a day or two. And every one of these wonders is better seen while you’re still alive, which the title of this book is not shy about pointing out. Everyone needs something to shoot for in their golden years, and 1000 is quite the ambitious number. It's a gift that will inspire them to knock the dust off the old traveling boots and regain a sense of adventure.
Everyone likes a nice stiff after-dinner drink, but sometimes you get tired of swearing at strangers and getting in fights with the sheriff. What’s a country boy to do? A great gift for anyone who’s looking to tone it down a notch but can’t give up the taste of that sweet Kentucky nectar. Or anyone who wants an extra special kick to start the day.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
This high-tech notebook combines the best of cutting-edge technology and old fashioned pen and paper. Send notes directly to the cloud using the Rocketbook smartphone app, and erase the notebook for reuse up to five times using a microwave. For real. Now if you could only microwave away your long history of embarrassing Instagram posts.
Sitting on the throne, for lack of a better term, isn’t the place where you tend to feel at your most gallant, but every king or queen needs a loyal knight to serve them and we’ve found just the man for the job. Always at hand when they need him the most, he won’t shy away from coming to their aid in even the most, er, challenging of situations.
Just like you wouldn’t send a samurai into battle with a pocket knife, you shouldn’t let a serious home chef attack his foodstuffs with some dull old blade off the shelves of Walmart. Bob Kramer is a certified Master Bladesmith, and the only one to specialize solely in making kitchen cutlery. In other words, this is a “next level” set of knives, one that any culinary artist would be thrilled to dice their carrots with.
For the frugal homemaker, there can never be too many ways to save space and eliminate unnecessary appliances, utensils, and the like. So a single stove-top skillet that allows you to fire up a full three-course meal in one go? You bet your sweet pork chop, corn, and baked beans that’s gonna find a place in lots of kitchens. And consider that it’s stain resistant, built to last, and safe for the oven and dishwasher, and it’s clear someone had their thinkin’ cap on at the old pots and pans factory.
They may have outgrown their sandpits and toy trucks a fair few years ago but they’ll never grow out of these ones. Let them relive their childhood dreams with a day in the ultimate playground. Crushing cars and taking on obstacles in heavy machinery, the perfect big adventure for your favorite big kid.
Transport them to a tropical land where soft sand cushions their overworked feet and salty air tickles their senses. Feel the warm breeze caress the cheek and listen to the gentle waves lapping along the shoreline. Achieve calmness, serenity and purpose inside the confines of the office cubicle. Frolic in the sand and let the stress of work float away.
It’s finally happening. The robot revolution has begun. And they’re starting with our floors. Making them all clean and spotless, so we feel inferior at our own vacuuming ability, perhaps we even slip on their shininess. And oh, how they’ll laugh. Resistance is futile, you might as well embrace it, and start gifting them to all your friends.
It’s a big claim, we know. But yes, apparently all of life’s mysteries can be explained using flow charts, and this handy book has collected them all together. Give this gift to someone who has always wondered about the meaning of life, and bemoaned the lack of a sufficient diagram to explain it.
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for you to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get someone to mail them to you. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
For the person who’ll try anything once, why not pop them in a local isolation tank and deprive them of their senses for an hour or so, see what happens? It might make them feel super relaxed and chilled-out. It could even be an enlightening experience. Or, it might just make them feel lucky to be alive when you finally let them out!
Nothing quite makes an impression like someone who has a giant tool and knows how to handle it. Get everybody within a half-mile radius drunk in one fell swoop with this absurdly proportioned mixology shaker. A brain-cell smiter of truly biblical proportions.
If humans were meant to fly, the logic goes, we would have been born with wings. Well, logic is an overrated buzzkill. Leaving the earth and relying on your own wits to return in one piece is something everyone should experience. Give the middle finger to gravity and biological destiny.
If they're a little clumsy in the kitchen, these cut resistant gloves may help them from accidentally adding unplanned ingredients to their meal (fingers in the coleslaw are never good). Now you won’t need to be suspicious of that red sauce when they invite you over for dinner.
Nothing adds a bit of natural flair to an outdoor party better than a large piece of fruit that gets you drunk. Just hollow out a watermelon, insert the tap, and fill it up with your favorite beverage. Let them show off their inner DIY in the coolest way possible.
Good luck convincing them this isn’t an acid flashback. This remote-controlled fish will be a welcome break from conventional pets that need feeding and only stay in the air for a few seconds. Holds enough helium to turn any house party into a chipmunk colony.
Who has time for trial and error? Folks today demand fast-acting, proven solutions to their everyday conundrums. A modern stand-in for the tried and trusted Farmer’s Almanac, this back pocket companion is more reliable than your great-grandmother and more concise than an open-ended Google search. Believe it or not, some of the “smartest” solutions have been around for ages.
People weren’t joking when they said this coffee is the sh#t. The undeniably rich, full-bodied flavor produced by these rare beans has redefined the food chain and flipped the coffee industry on its head. Perhaps one of the most imaginative adaptations of the farm-to-table movement, this coffee product is redefining waste management.
They might already have everything the need today, but that could change quickly if they become the unfortunate victim of cyber-theft. RFID chips in modern credit cards make paying easy, but they also have a serious vulnerability - the chip can be scanned by cyber criminals without you even knowing it. All they have to do is walk past you and your card data is captured without them even touching it. It’s a growing concern but luckily there’s an easy solution with RFID blocking cards and wallets.
Grilling doesn’t have to be a seasonal pastime anymore. This creative addition to your barbeque repertoire will bring the oven to the patio and some deliciously baked goods to the chef’s outdoor menu. The irresistible flavor of brick-oven fare will redefine your backyard and inject some home-cooked aroma into the too often smoky, greasy smells of the charcoal circuit. Who knew cooking out could be so refined?
If you’re always relying on Trip Advisor, you’re going to be in for some nasty surprises. Because you never know whether the person on the other end of that five-star review has a conflict of interest, or even if they’re sound of mind to begin with. Leave the hardcore travel advice up to the experts who have the proven experience and insight. National Geographic has made a name for themselves by being THE authority on what to see and where. They’ve got some real skin in the game, unlike Doris from Grand Forks who thinks the Motel 6 in Albuquerque was better than the Grand Canyon. Send your loved one off into the great unknown with the real ultimate guide.
The Olive Oil Lovers Tasting Kit will help you discover your palate profile. Six small bottles of signature extra virgin olive oil, six tasting cups, and a tasting placemat are included, but more importantly, an innovative online companion app to guide you through your tasting. Using the app, you will conduct a taste comparison of the oils included in the kit to determine which type of oils most tantalize your palate.
We are intelligent survivors by nature. Despite its ominous name, a worst case scenario can be a lot of fun, provided you have the tools available to pull a MacGyver-like exit. This little kit can save someone’s life over and over again. Check that, only their primal genius can save their life. But this lends a helping hand.
Summer is the season when you start trading all that time you spend indoors getting drunk for time outdoors getting drunk. But if you’re like most people, you probably don’t feel like your furniture supports you in this venture. And a simple survey of the industry reveals a regrettable lack of beer-dedicated lawnware. At the end of the day, the outdoor brew lover doesn’t ask for much — just a table with a couple of can/bottle holder slots, a bottle opener, and a spot for some snacks. Thankfully, someone was listening. Here is their elegant answer.
If they’re anything like us, they’re not wild about some anonymous person manhandling their pork. The problem is, of course, that someone has to turn it into bacon. A make your own bacon kit is the perfect gift for someone who really wants to take control of their lives, starting with the most important parts.
Polaroids may be dead, but the people who like to use them aren’t. Not all of them anyway. There’s something especially gratifying about holding a tangible photograph, especially in a world dominated by virtual commodities where everything is becoming digital. Having an instant printer on hand means they don’t have to wait for a photo printing company to print their photos from the cloud and mail them by horseback or whatever. And we all know that nobody has time to wait for a horse these days. Oh, and we should also mention: these look way better than Polaroids.
Back in the old days you were really rolling the dice when you chose a hotel. Either you called blindly after skimming the phone book or simply drove all night and hoped you saw a vacancy sign before you ran out of gas and got murdered by a vagrant. A hotels.com gift card is not just a way of picking up the tab for a night’s stay; it’s also the priceless gift of peace of mind.
Kombucha is the ancient art of making tea into something half the people who try it will love and the other half will vomit back onto your carpet. The people who love it are objectively correct, because it makes you live forever (almost). Anyone who has fallen head over heels for it will do the same for you if you buy them this homebrew kit.
Celebrate their roots with one of these insanely comfortable t-shirts to remind them where they’re from. A great antidote to homesickness and scratchy-clothing syndrome. And if someone should find them drunk and unresponsive on the front lawn, they’ll know approximately where to send them.
For the coffee and donut addicts of the world, it’s hard to believe that anything could improve this heavenly pairing. But that will make it all the more mind-blowing when they realize you have indeed given them something that will take the experience to another level. This truly ingenious piece of kitchen/office-ware provides the perfect platform on which the two elements meet to create the true breakfast of champions. Because if you’re going to do it, you might as well do it right.
Traditional shot glasses are durable and convenient, but you can’t eat them. That’s just a fact. Don’t try it; many people have, and they’re all dead. This machine breaks the mold by replacing glass with cookies (the best ideas are always stupid obvious). Jello shots are no longer the undisputed champion of the alcohol kingdom.
Though it is roundly considered bad taste to put socks on your face, no taboo exists against doing the opposite. In fact, rocking a pair of face socks is likely to thrust one several notches up the status meter. It’s one of the most underutilized fashion secrets known to modern man (and modern woman). The ancient books counsel that power and prestige await those who carry the human countenance upon their footwear. These are truly the gateway to greater things.
Everyone likes receiving money, and it’s the easiest gift to give. Unfortunately, a pile of bills is often considered tacky. On the other hand, roll them up into flower shapes and it’s considered art. A brilliant ruse to make the simplest of transactions socially acceptable.
Looking for a really forking good gift? Okay, so fried foods may not be the healthiest choice out there, but there are times when you just can’t help but make an exception. This electric fondue maker is the perfect thing for dinner parties and puts a fun twist on appetizers and desserts. The oil, cheese, or chocolate will stay at the perfect temperature and it never runs out of fuel.
Know someone who’s had a lot of close calls? Celebrate it with this bullet-embedded shot glass. A strong reminder that you never know which direction the next shitstorm is coming from, and you never know what shape it’s going to take. You might as well live it up now while you can.
Since the dawn of time, chaos, terror, and death have periodically rained down from the sky. Only the lucky were spared. But now we have weather radios, so you can go inside instead of dying. This one also conveniently charges your phone so the next hurricane doesn’t have to interrupt your game of angry birds.
Video game arcades in every town may be a thing of the past, but with the 80s revival that’s washed over the western world, demand has spiked again for old-time video games that look like they were designed by an 8-year old and housed in giant man-sized boxes. And for good reason: they’re so much fun that you could lose your entire childhood chasing the high score in Asteroids. Don’t ask how we know that.
Who needs photorealism when you can have the charming warmth of skillful human error? There is something undeniably touching about having an artist recreate your image by hand using the old-time tools of long-gone artistic masters. After all, any old fool can press a shutter button and spit out a photo of your homely mug. It really means something that another person was willing to stare at that photo for hours while they painstakingly recreated your form by hand, imbuing it with all the personality and living charisma of your aura. Help someone you love celebrate a cherished moment the old fashioned way.
Traditional golf pants are one of the most identifiable sartorial statements in the history of men’s fashion. This playful golf leg table captures the timeless style in a gloriously bizarre yet classic piece of furniture. Charmingly whimsical, dignified, and refined all at once, it makes a perfect addition to any man cave, vacation home, or course-side timeshare, and it’s bound to do as much for their reputation among other golfers as shaving ten strokes off their handicap.
Take a friend back to their glory days on the streets of Hong Kong with this authentic bubble waffle maker. All they have to do is fill this bad boy with their favorite waffle batter, close the lid, and within a few minutes they’ve got their very own homemade version of one of the world’s most iconic street foods. Add in a stockpile of cheap batter and a few cases of whipped cream, and this could literally keep them alive for years.
When purchasing meat and seafood, consider its origins—you might be surprised where it comes from! For example, did you know that meat labeled "Product of the United States of America" can be raised abroad as long as it is processed in the United States? Good Chop is a customizable meat and seafood subscription service that lets you build your own box from over 25 different beef, pork, chicken, and seafood cuts. All of their products are sourced from American farms and fisheries and are free of any unnatural ingredients, including antibiotics, added hormones, additives, and coloring.
What better way to say that the pen is mightier than the sword? This knight pen holder will be their most loyal servant in all of their clerical crusades. Whether they’re battling with the bookkeeping or feuding with their filing, help will be at hand. And yes, their grocery lists deserve the royal treatment too.
Since the invention of the original legos, kids have only been able to imagine what their creations would be like if they were life-sized. But not anymore. Giant legos make it possible to experience the dream of a world composed of lego buildings, lego furniture, and human sized lego robots. And it’s not only kids that are getting in on the action. Giant legos are used to create temporary offices, modular furniture, interior decor, exhibits and retail displays, and a lot more. Except the adults like to call them “modular blocks” to make it sound more grown up. But we all know they’re giant legos.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Their toothbrush cleans their mouth, but then what cleans their toothbrush? How have you not been thinking about this? If you don’t have one of these, your mouth and your toothbrush are just playing volleyball with all that crap that comes off your teeth. Life is gross enough without walking around with a bacteria factory in your face.
No light shines as bright as the light of wisdom. Even better if that wisdom is delivered in weird syntax that makes you stop what you’re doing to figure out what you’re being told. That is, after all, Yoda’s whole schtick. Clever little bastard. This intricately crafted lamp includes one of his best-known motivational slogans — imploring the world, more or less, to “just do it.” Seriously, if you know any over-the-top Star Wars fans, just get this for them. It’s as close to a can’t miss gift as you’ll ever find.
Look, we know that not everybody needs to have a giant five pound gummy bear, but not everybody technically needs pants, either. Having a giant gummy bear is like having a pair of pants: once you have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. The point is that need has nothing to do with it.
Science is never better than when you can eat it. But you can’t safely eat most science, which is why this book is such a dang miracle. Technically all food is science, but the food in this book has more science than like a hot dog or something. And it’s no gimmick either — The New York Times Book Review says it’s “the one book you must have, no matter what you’re planning to cook or where your skill level falls.” Finally, a worthwhile use for chemistry.
If they don't already have a marinade injector it would make a perfect gift. And if they do, tell them to throw that junk away - this one is way nicer. Initially, the novice may wonder why they need a marinade injector. Of course, if they knew why they needed one they would, in fact, already have one. But they'll learn. And it will be a delicious process. And soon you'll reap the benefits when you're invited over for dinner and vodka infused watermelon.
After a long day at work, they’ll love to come home and fall face-first into the inviting crevices of this butt-shaped head haven. But this is not just a gag gift — this pillow happens to be a great shape to accommodate any sleeping position. With real butt-like tactile qualities, a silky inner lining, and removable yoga pant cover, they’ll look forward to stuffing their face right up in there every night. Soft, comforting, and ergonomical — they’ve never experienced booty sleep like this.
The great conundrum of losing your glasses has always been that you’ve lost the one thing that you need to find the thing you’ve lost. That is, until technology stepped in. Now, through the magic of bluetooth, there’s one more layer of foolproof assistance to undo the errors of human carelessness. That is, until they lose their phone too. At that point, the only answer is super-gluing their belongings to their body. Even idiot-proofing has its limits.
Wombats are highly independent animals, but sometimes they need a little help getting their sh*t together. You know, just someone to make sure they’re keeping up on their paperwork and making solid life choices. That’s where an animal lover you know comes in. Kind of like a Big Brothers & Big Sisters program, but for wombats. And it’s WAY more hands-off. In fact, the adopter doesn’t have to do anything — someone else takes care of all the dirty work. They just get a little card with a cute picture of their wombat and a bunch of swag, and the satisfaction of knowing they’re keeping another potential troubled marsupial off the streets.
To be an effective steward of the kitchen, one needs a strong organization system — a system that makes storage, operation, and cleaning super easy. Otherwise, food prep efforts are liable to become a shit storm of fruit peels, vegetable parts, and other victual detritus. The Prep Deck is a fully integrated meal prep station, complete with all the storage container and prep accessories needed to help even the most disorganized cook stay on the straight and narrow.
Feeling small and insignificant? Looking for that larger than life feeling? Need to jump safely from a great height? Try an inflatable suit. They’re great fun for any occasion, especially for first impressions, and they really make you stand out in a crowd. Inflatable suits are perfect for blind dates, job interviews, concerts or events where personal space may be limited, pushing your way to the front of the line, casual Fridays, motorcycle safety, airplane travel, hiding in pillows, and more.
Turn any room into a game room without ruining the elegant vibe they’ve worked so hard to cultivate. Foosball is a game of the people, making the great sport of soccer accessible to everyone, even the tragically out-of-shape and terminally uncoordinated. And old school tabletop games like foosball give people a real world gathering place, so they can get off the damn interwebs for a while and learn how to engage in face-to-face communication. It’ll be awkward at first, but they’ll get used to it. Speaking of which, this table makes a great conversation piece.
Perhaps the best gift you could give is a well-earned day off. Watch their face light up when they kick back and enjoy a day of total relaxation as you take care of all the hard work for them. Just be careful not to do the job too well or you’ll find them asking for the same thing for every birthday and holiday to come.
If you were a burrito, would you eat yourself? I sure would. That's why I don't have one of these giant flour tortilla blankets. But for people with more self control, here's a fun gift they can really wrap themselves up in. This super soft fleece throw blanket comes in four sizes ranging from about 4 to 6 feet in diameter. Large enough to neatly wrap up a child or adult, and any of your other favorite ingredients. Also available as a pizza or waffle, because why not?
Nothing makes your luggage stand out against all the other schmucks’ tattered old raggedy bags like a shiny brass luggage tag. The perfect gift for the sophisticated globetrotter who likes to travel in style. Use up to five lines of text to list their name, address, phone number, favorite superhero, spirit animal, most embarrassing moment — whatever they (or you) want to permanently engrave. The most distinguished way to keep the grubby little hands of the unwashed masses off their personal belongings at the airport.
New cars come loaded with all kinds of cool features like backup cameras, but what about the rest of us who are still cruising around in our 1998 Cavalier? We have to turn our heads around like some sort of caveman. No need to get left behind as the world races forward, this handy device attaches to any car with fairly minimal effort.
If you know someone who has ever tried to drain the pasta water from the pot using a fork to hold back the noodles, this gift is just what they need to quit their habit of pulling those noodles out of the dirty sink and pretending like nothing happened when they inevitably spill over. They'll wonder how they ever lived without this simple tool, and will silently thank you every time they don't have to wash a bulky colander after dinner, or wonder if that green speck in their pasta is actually parsley.
This prank joke box is the perfect way to make an okay present seem way better. Once they open it and realize it’s not really a VR headset for their dog, whatever you actually put inside will seem a lot better. There is really only one way this joke can go awry: if the gift you put inside is actually worse than a VR set for dogs. But then again, failure on that level is an art form in itself, which makes it a weird kind of success.
When he’s not whipping up beats and ghetto-smooth flows, it turns out Snoop Dogg is busy whipping up tuna casseroles and birthday cakes. Who would have thought? But then again, given his chosen pastimes, it’s a good bet that he’s hungry more often than the average human. A holy fusion of soul food, classic dinner dishes, and Cap’n Crunch, there’s something for everyone in these pages. Time to get down on some dogg food.
For many people, using chopsticks is a skill that defies mastery. Like a hopeful Zen master sitting in the forest year after year, trying to hear the sound of one hand clapping, time after time the hapless chopsticker comes up empty. Even after years of dedicated effort, the Hunan style broccoli cascades back to the plate long before it reaches the lips. So once again, The Force comes to the rescue. These are the only chopsticks that carry The Force. At long last, problem solved.
Technology has been an ongoing boon to music makers and music lovers alike, but the downside is that anyone with a personal music collection has had a rough time keeping up over the last forty years or so. A 7-in-1 music player (AM, FM, CD, vinyl, cassette, bluetooth, and auxiliary in) allows them to get some use out of all that accumulated music without needing a room full of stereo equipment.
This clay roasting pan made in Germany cooks a chicken to crispy perfection whether in an oven or a grill. Suitable for a chicken up to 10 lbs., the bird is best inverted and placed over the pan’s central spike, which evenly cooks the chicken from the inside. The vertical position allows an oven’s heat to circulate around the bird without the need for turning, which also allows its dark and white meat to cook evenly (without trussing) while also allowing juices to constantly baste the breast. The pan’s 8-cup capacity provides generous room for caramelizing vegetables as they roast beneath the chicken. Dishwasher-safe after cooling.
Insomniacs often say they’ve tried everything in order to get to sleep. But in reality, how many insomniacs have ever tried hypnotizing themselves with a pulsating blue light? Well, here’s your chance to call bullsh*t on them. Making use of an age-old meditative technique, the insomniac sleep inducer helps people enter the land of a thousand winks by synchronizing and slowly lowering the frequency of their breathing. After that, it’s nothing but hours of the old snoozy-woozy.
Waffles are one of mankind’s greatest inventions for the purpose of stuffing your face. But how many people ever consider that waffles in turn can be stuffed, therefore effectively doubling the glorious effects of stuffage? And believe it or not, you don’t need a kitchen full of Belgian wizard elves to pull off this miraculous feat. All you need is this piece of apex engineering. This is the waffle maker that looks at other waffle makers and says, “Hold my beer.”
This electric pasta maker mixes and extrudes various shapes of pasta without taking up added counter or drawer space. The eight included interchangeable tips create penne, spaghetti, lasagna, angel hair, fettuccine, tagliatelle, spaghettini, ravioli, and dumplings. Each batch makes up to five servings of fresh homemade pasta. Parts remove for easy cleaning. Includes recipe book and flour and liquid measuring cups, and cleaning tool.