Why is it so hard to judge the correct amount of spaghetti noodles to cook? It’s not like we haven’t done this a million times. For whatever reason, the human mind cannot solve this equation. Luckily there’s no need with this handy tool that can measure standard portions for people and even those who are so hungry they could eat a horse.
Symbolic furniture is all the rage. Champagne lovers will feel tipsy when they see this decorative and functional living room table that pays homage to their favorite beverage. Then maybe you can buy them that dining room table shaped like a cow. Or that butt-shaped toilet seat cover. So many choices in this category.
Save them from trekking all the way down to the local ice cream chain store and waiting in line for some 16 year old who hates everything about them to shovel a handful of mass-produced ice cream into a paper cup and then charge them eight dollars while rolling his eyes. Life is so much more pleasant when you can do things yourself, isn’t it?
Making olive oil is a time-tested mediterranean art. And they don’t put the good stuff on the shelves at Costco, no matter how ornate the adhesive label is. They make you go and find it. A true Italian or Greek food connoisseur will appreciate the difference, even if you’re clueless. Bring the finest flavors of the old world right to their table.
Work your way through the alphabet describing your love and admiration with 26 prompts, one for each letter. If you’re looking for a way to express your feelings in a heartfelt, personalized gift but need a little push in the right direction, this book is a godsend. The prompts may be prewritten, but this book is sure to be filled with your own personality by the time you complete it.
Chocolates used to (and perhaps still do) come from factories run by shady recluses and populated by obese midget slaves. Or at least that’s what the video evidence suggests. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. Stick it to big business by giving someone this home chocolate making kit and help them join the artisan revolution. A whole new way to make chocolate “guilt free”.
It’s never too early to spread the love. And with this heart-shaped waffle maker, all they have to do is spread the batter, and all the love symbolism comes popping out by itself, like magic. Alas, these delicious creations are destined to be just as fleeting.
The good life is all about quality over quantity. Or maybe it’s about quality and quantity. We’re not here to argue. If they still want to swill down cheap rotgut wine by the box, nobody’s going to stop them. It’s their life, not yours. But here’s a great way to broaden their horizons once a month by introducing them to the stuff that’s popular with the people who don’t mix their chardonnay with diet sprite.
Surely you’ve got plenty of memories to mark the passage of time together, but it’s good to have some numbers to back up your feelings. And it’ll be interesting to see the look on your spouse/partner’s face when they’re confronted with the irrefutable evidence that yes, you really have been together for an absurdly large number of days. But even more than that, a Days Together mug serves as a reminder of the substantial investment you’ve both made. In economics they refer to it as “sunk cost,” and it’s a healthy motivator.
There’s nothing more comforting to a pet owner than feeling the wet, slimy nose of their favorite companion pressed against their bare skin. Over and over again. While they’re watching TV, doing yoga, cooking, trying to take out the garbage, talking on the phone, or waking up in the morning. Pretty much anytime they’re not covered in clothing from the neck down. Since they can’t take their animal’s nose with them everywhere they go, here’s the next best thing.
In our computer-crazy culture, one of the most overworked parts of many people’s bodies is their eyes. It’s enough of a problem that some people would probably consider hiring a full-time eye massager if they could afford it, and if those people actually existed. But once again, here comes technology to save us from the damage created by other technology. This may look like a virtual reality headset, but there’s nothing virtual about it. Real heat, real massage, and real soothing music make it an invaluable tool for recovering from a hard day of sitting there and staring at the abyssal depths of the internet.
Feeling parched? Snuggle up to this double-fisted bosom and quench your thirst with some nectar of the gods. Best suited for full-bodied reds, this bra bar will serve up the finest burgundies, cabernets and merlots with seduction and sporty spunk. Thick or thin, the legs on this wine-lover’s paradise make consumption effortless, portable and pretty. Jug wine just got really awesome!
Tea has been renowned for its health and healing abilities since ancient times. Of course, so has bloodletting. But don’t worry - unlike cutting someone open, feeding them tea actually works. Most teas are packed with antioxidants and other important nutrients and fancy-sounding compounds that we’ve learned about from Dr. Oz, and many have genuine medicinal applications. And many teas also have flavor and aroma profiles that promote relaxation and relieve stress. It almost sounds too good to be true. But it’s not. Nature is a genius, and here’s her medicine.
It’s nice to have the option to get an endless massage from somebody whose hands never get tired. And you don’t have to worry about being a captive audience to some godawful boring story or suffer through ten minutes of vomit-inducing garlic breath. Machines do it better.
Nobody wants to touch your feet, so stop asking. And we know you don’t want to touch anybody else’s either, so if you want someone’s feet to feel better this is the only ethical choice. And with switchable heat and nonstop movement, this is way better than any human could do anyway. All without the complaining or the feeling of obligation to reciprocate in some way.
Everyone used to have that one weird friend who would set up a portable swimming pool in the middle of the living room just so they could take a bath and watch TV at the same time. Now technology allows them to bring the TV to the bathtub, not the other way around, in the form of a small tablet. But electronics and water still don’t really mix that well, so you need something like this. Provides space for food, beverages, soap, aromatherapy candles, entertainment, and whatever else they might want within arm’s reach while soaking away their worries.
Humans aren’t the only members of the animal kingdom to practice the ancient spiritual and physical art of yoga, and we’ve got the visual propaganda to prove it — in the form of calendars, picture books, statues, coloring books, postcards, and more. And of all the non-human members of the yoga community, cats hold a special place at the front of the movement. Naturally flexible, nimble, self-motivated, and introspective, cats have done much to further the age-old practice of yoga. It’s time we gave them the recognition they deserve.
Life is all about redefining your vices as positive qualities. In fact, that’s how you become President, if you have the drive to take it that far. But most people prefer to start small, like reframing their nightly glass of wine as something worthy of a prescription. And really, who can argue? It’s a lot cheaper, has fewer side effects, and is actually fun to ingest. And it has culture. Don’t forget about culture.
Many scientists consider smell to be the strongest of the human senses, tied up so intimately as it is with emotions and memories. It’s also sometimes the most neglected aspect of the home. You know who we’re talking about. Help that person craft a more sensuous and pleasing atmosphere for everyone who steps inside.
What hard working person has not at one time wished for a warm-blooded giant to place his hands on their shoulders and ease their weary muscles? That was the inspiration behind this cordless neck and shoulder heat wrap. Aches and pains simply melt away under its heavenly influence, and with a maximum temperature of 120 degrees, it reaches the really deep muscles that no giant can soothe without inflicting skeletal injury.
Bronze casting, like marriage, is an ancient tradition. Now you can combine the two with one of these lovely sculptures depicting couples in love. With proper care, a marriage should last forever. A bronze sculpture should as well, with even less care.
In a couple of generations, nobody’s even going to know what the hell a book is. Have you seen a teenager try to figure out how to use one of their parents’ audio cassettes? But for those of us in the know, books are the real source of pure knowledge and wisdom, untainted by the runoff of digital culture. Like a cold, clear mountain stream, but with words.
Great art doesn’t always take the form you’re expecting. Twitter gives everyone with a phone and an opinion to spare the chance to reach millions of people with a single ill-conceived utterance. With all that verbal garbage coursing through the airwaves, bizarre gems are certain to arise. Lest they drift away and go to waste, someone had the brilliant idea to start framing them. Move over Picasso, it’s time to make room for the real modern art.
Are you being watched as you read this? Is your every move being documented for later use against you in the form of blackmail or worse? Probably. And that paranoid friend who’s always going on and on about being watched? They’re most likely right too. But now there’s something they can do about it. With a hidden camera detector, they can foil the plans of even the most ingenious spies, rapscallions, government agents, and other invaders of privacy. A necessary weapon in the modern digital jungle.
As time passes, people are bound to change. This fillable glass memory locket was made with that personal evolution in mind. The double-sided glass design gives them more options for filling it with photos, small objects, keepsakes, or anything else they might want to carry with them. And swapping out one image, object, or arrangement for another is as easy as snapping the locket open and then closed again. A beautiful, versatile peace of jewelry that can change and grow with its owner.
This is what you do when you realize your taste in home decor is crap. Or maybe the person you’re buying for is too weird to appreciate it. Whatever the case, sometimes it’s not such a good idea to decorate someone else’s house for them. If you’re feeling a little gun shy, let them pull the trigger themselves.
A book is more than just a collection of words and ideas. It’s a frozen piece of time — the intersection of one person’s (or sometimes multiple peoples’) thoughts and experiences with the moment in which they were recorded. So sometimes a 50th reprint of To Kill a Mockingbird just doesn’t seem to carry the same weight that it should. Serious book lovers love first editions, because they’re a tangible piece of cultural history.
It has been prophesied that the apocalypse will not come via comet or nuclear war, it will come when the world’s caffeine sources dry up. But that’s not for another 15 or 20 years. Until then, it should be approached with a complete lack of self-control. Give them a leg up with a buzz you should need a prescription for.
It’s easy to see why old romantic gestures are getting less and less common now in the digital age of social media, it’s quicker to text than it is to phone and more convenient to email than to write. We think that makes a love letter all the more special. We bet there’s not an emoji to capture how delighted they’ll be to receive such a loving and thoughtful gift.
These might look like strange sea creatures or spindly metal spiders, but these spine-tingling scalp massagers will be adored by even your most arachnophobic friend. The perfect gift to take the stress out of their day – and hilarious to watch them use.
The senses of smell and taste are highly correlated. Of course, smelling books is highly correlated with general weirdness, but in this case it’s alright, because that’s what this book was made for. A great introduction to what you’re supposed to be noticing on the way to inebriation, perfect for a wine beginner, or for someone who’s trying to make the tough leap from the box to the bottle.
If there’s anything that can make wine taste better, it’s a little frustration. If you think life in our rapid-delivery consumer culture is just a bit too easy, then teach someone a valuable lesson by making them work more than they anticipated for their reward. You’re not only giving the world’s oldest artisan beverage, you’re helping develop life skills.
If you can’t afford to splurge on a Tiffany tennis bracelet, spoil her with some modern technology that will rejuvenate her finest gems and jewels. Leave the polishing to the guys at the car wash. This sensible system makes jewelry care effortless and fun, easily lifting years of tarnish and returning finishes to their original luster.
If they seem bored with preparing their meals the traditional way – you know, by microwaving them – then this futuristic cooking contraption could be the gift for them. Simply vacuum pack food in a bag, submerge it in water and the all-powerful Sous Vide will turn it into mouth-watering, restaurant-worthy steak. Yes, really.Check out our Guide to Sous Vide Cooking to learn more about this underutilized method of cooking.
Give the gift of beautiful views, bucket-list achievements, and especially if they’re afraid of heights, hours of entertainment for you. It veers away from cruel since it’s completely safe, but you’ll definitely get your money’s worth watching them rotate between admiring the splendor and clutching the basket while praying in four languages. Especially since they only speak one.
There’s nothing sadder than a gardener without a garden. This vertical indoor planter is the perfect gift for someone whose green-fingers are itching to sow, tend and water, but who lives in an apartment block and just doesn’t have the outdoor space usually required. Now they can garden on their kitchen wall!
Everyone needs a confidant, someone they can vent all their frustrations to and share all of their secrets with. Here’s a great listener who never repeats anything behind your back, is soft and adorable, and will never try to steal your spouse no matter how close they get. Pretty much the best friend imaginable.
If you’re looking for a truly one of a kind gift, you might consider commissioning a local artist to create a unique piece of jewelry. It will not only be cherished by the lucky recipient, but it’s also a gift to the starving artist, so it will mean a lot to everyone. Remember to plan in advance for this one, custom made artwork is not created overnight.
As much as we hate to mention, and we don’t advise you do, they’re not spring chickens anymore and Ben and Jerry probably aren’t the best of people for them to be around. They’ve probably realized this already, so give them a helping hand with their new healthy lifestyle with this marvelous little yogurt maker which will let them create some delicious and nutritious snacks to help make that break up a little easier.
You know that your romantic history is of epic significance. If only you had the hardware to prove it. Now you can immortalize your love story in the form of a big, fat, campy adventure romance novel. The world always has a gross shortage of heroes, and if somebody has to fill the void, it might as well be you. Here is your chance to fill it with style and sexiness. Enter yourself in the great pantheon of timeless erotic literature, where you’ve always known you belong.
Going to bed angry is not an option with these adorable cushions cradling you and your sweetheart’s heads. Even the most adrenaline-filled pillow fight won’t be able to squash the honey goodness that flows between you two lovebirds. Make a spirited, endearing statement in the bedroom and promote nothing but the sweetest gumdrop lollypop dreams every night for the remainder of your precious union.
Flowers don’t just look nice and fill the air with pleasant aromas, they also carry various levels of symbolism. Much like the zodiac, each month has its own flower variety, reflecting the character of everyone born therein. Or at least, that’s what someone decided a long time ago. And it sure is a nice idea. Regardless of whether the person you’re buying for really is a carnation at heart, or whether they’re more of a Venus fly trap, these earrings are going to look great on them.
People say they love camping, but are we 100% sure they don’t just love to eat s’mores? Why not buy them this S’mores Machine so they can enjoy the good parts of roughing it without needing to sleep in a leaky tent afterwards.
Jewelry is a classic gift, but it can sometimes be hard to know whether you’re getting the right thing. This diamond-accented bracelet watch from Anne Klein is a truly elegant timepiece, and makes a perfect accessory for outfits ranging from business casual to formal. It also won’t break the bank, though you’d never know by looking at it. The single diamond accent on the watch face adds a hint of luxury without being excessive, making this watch a beautiful, luxurious addition to any wardrobe.
Musical genius is not a prerequisite for this delightful sound machine. Whether it’s cranking out an original score or “Born to Be Wild,” the sweet melodies of this tabletop hurdy gurdy will capture the ears and lighten the hearts of all those who gather ’round for a listen. Add this customizable heirloom to the instrument collection and inspire a newfound appreciation for all things classic.
Back when old people were kids, shadow puppeteering was accepted as a legitimate skill. That meant holding your hands in front of a light to create rudimentary animal shapes on the wall, because there was no internet. These candleholders are a serious step up. Just try making a mature cedar with your hands. Ok, stop. It’s not going to happen.
If you’re looking for a subtly stylish gift, we’re sure that this necklace will be universally loved. It’s a beautiful piece of jewelry that people will certainly gravitate towards. It’d also be a good time to remind them that in comparison to the cosmos, they’re positively youthful, something they’ll love you to the moon and back for.
Look, soap is great. Nobody’s denying that. But you have to realize that while it does make you clean, it doesn’t accomplish the one thing that so many people wish it did: cover them in chocolate. For obvious reasons, however, being covered in chocolate is a somewhat dubious goal. After all, they would have to wash it off right away to avoid getting it on the furniture. This chocolate soap is the perfect compromise: they get to cover themselves in chocolate and somehow get cleaner at the same time. And wow, it really smells good too.
The classic party game where everyone either reveals reputation-demolishing secrets about their past or shamelessly lies to save face. Depending on the temperament of the various participants, it can make for an hour or so of good-natured ribbing, or it can devolve into closet doors being flung open to reveal hideous skeletons beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. In other words, it’s rip-roaring fun. But depending on your own personal history, you may want to sit this one out.