Part of the enjoyment of drinking a black and tan is the visual aspect. When the two beers blend together it just looks like someone screwed up at the Guinness brewery. This is the kind of thing you care about when proclaim to be a beer connoisseur. Here's a little gift that can at least help him look like he knows what he's doing.
The perfect gift for the person who’s always getting lost in the dark, tripping down the stairs on their way back from the bathroom, or struggling to summon The Batman, the light from this flashlight is visible from five nautical miles away. They’ll never need to fear the Joker again!
Ever since the introduction of the first 3d printer, the prevailing question on the minds of many has been, “I wonder if I could eat that.” The answer, as some found out the hard way, is almost always no. Now that’s all changing, as the technology has evolved to be edible, as all important technology eventually does. Because really, if you can’t ingest something, what’s the point of having it? After all, isn’t that why they call it “consumer technology?” Makes perfect sense to us.
Everyone, from Elon Musk to your next door neighbor, is straight-up terrified of the robot takeover, envisioning all kinds of post-apocalyptic horrors being visited upon us by our own creations. But then one of them offers to mow the lawn and everyone’s like, “Well, they can’t be that bad.” And it’s true - there might be a few bad apples coming down the assembly line, but you won’t find any in the lawn mower category. Just helpful, friendly, sort-of-intelligent mini landscapers who just want you to give them a place to lay low and recharge in between jobs. Nothing to be scared of here.
For many thousands of years, “grilling” has meant chopping something up and suspending it over an open flame. Sure, maybe you add some new proprietary seasoning to spice things up a little and impress your in-laws, but for the most part nothing’s really changed. It’s time to disrupt (that’s what the B school kids call it) this primal practice with a little infrared technology. Call this grilling 2.0. Life has sped up immeasurably since the days when we were chasing down goats and killing them with our bare hands. We’ve got jobs now, and Netflix shows to watch. This crazy little box will get the grilling done in no time so they can get back to real life.
There are lots of reasons to buy a home boxing trainer. For some people, in-person lessons are too expensive and time consuming. Other people just want a convenient and legal way to let out their aggression. In yet other cases, your little brother gets tired of holding the pillow in front of his stomach and letting you punch him. Whatever the reason, this is definitely one of the best solutions yet devised for anyone who wants to hone their skills on their own time.
With professional quality drones now becoming affordable, the average schlub can make cinema-quality videos for the first time in history. Those epic sky shots that used to be exclusively available to Hollywood-level film crews are attainable for anybody. All it takes is a simple drone copter like this one armed with a professional quality video camera. And this thing brings all kinds of mischief within the user’s reach, even the kind that might land them on the news. What more inspiration could a bored tech nerd need?
Replicating bloody warfare between kingdoms, and played by some of the most brilliant minds in the world, chess stands large in the human game-o-sphere. Yet it carries such a small physical footprint. Something had to give. This giant chess set makes its players feel like Roman gods directing the earthly battles of royal dwarves. It also serves as a stunning piece of landscape art, like something straight out of Alice in Wonderland. The last word in life-size board games.
Why are they still struggling to light a charcoal fire when there’s a 90 billion megaton flaming ball hanging above us? Help them learn to be more resourceful with this reflective solar cooker, then let daylight do the rest. The reflective surface condenses the sun’s rays on the food, letting them grill, steam, slow-cook, or pan fry their favorite dishes under the clear blue sky, and all with a minimal level of human input. Sometimes simpler really is better.
Natural materials exude a timeless class that never goes out of style. In fact, it’s almost impossible to look bad when you’re wearing a wooden watch (that’s not an invitation to try). These beautiful accessories go with just about every wardrobe style - all the way from yuppie to hippie, and everything in between. Even a clown suit. And really, that’s the true measure of style: does it look good on a clown suit?
Starbucks and fine Italian restaurants everywhere have succeeded in jading us all. The result is that nobody’s happy with a simple cup of coffee anymore. Espresso, doppio, cappuccino, macchiato, latte…the average person’s coffee tastes are so much more complicated and demanding. And the truth is, all you have to do is walk thirty or forty feet to the nearest Starbucks to indulge your addiction. But why bother when you can just hit a button on a machine in your kitchen and do it even better? Sur La Table produces some elite personal caffeination solutions, and they’re oh so worth the investment.
Know someone who’s had a lot of close calls? Celebrate it with this bullet-embedded shot glass. A strong reminder that you never know which direction the next shitstorm is coming from, and you never know what shape it’s going to take. You might as well live it up now while you can.
Any resident of the hillbilly, redneck, white trash, honky, or poor cracker regions of America knows that beavers are good for more than building dams. If you’ve never had roasted beaver tail smothered in a bourbon dandelion sauce, well let me tell you…neither have I. But real country living is about making use of what you’ve got, and this book is the culmination of centuries of hardscrabble ingenuity. You don’t need fancy grocery stores or credit cards. All you need is a little backcountry wisdom.
Go ahead, throw this in the white elephant gift pile and see if anyone has the balls to steal it. This is the kind of gift that nobody will ever forget, for better or for worse. Its usefulness is overshadowed only by the shamelessness of its name and the absurdity of its marketing - true signs of a product with lasting power. In the context of a normal one-to-one gift giving scenario, you risk having it taken as an insult, but in a white elephant gift exchange, at the very least you’ll get a few laughs, and who knows? You might even open up a whole new world to some lucky soul in need.
Ping pong is an activity that virtually anyone can get into. Along with “sports” like curling, mini golf, and shooting cans off of fence posts, it’s a game of physical skill that requires absolutely no meaningful athletic ability. That makes it a game of the people, if you will. And the best part about this kit is that it’s portable, as the name implies, and extremely fast to set up. Just supply the tabletop. If they could use a little dose of competitive fire, this might do the trick.
The future of food is all about making weird shapes with your dinner. Or at least that’s what the modernist chefs will have you believe. And some of the things you can make with this molecular gastronomy kit are enough to make you feel like you’re eating with the Jetsons. Spheres, foams, and chocolate spaghetti are a few of the strange treasures that await inside this bizarre culinary kit.
You know what they say about so-called cooks who can’t produce real smoke-flavored food: “If he can’t smoke, he must be a joke.” This compact but roomy stainless steel digital smoker lets even the open-air novice produce smoked meats worthy of any barbecue competition, and being a no-fire smoke device, he doesn’t have to worry about burning down the house just to appease the family’s taste buds. And best of all, the digital controls mean there’s no guesswork involved, so it comes out just right every time.
In a world where deadlines are king, why not focus on a finish line that’s really worth celebrating? Retirement! They'll keep their eye on the prize with this optimistic ticker that will drive them to accomplish bigger and better things at work. Imagine the sweet silence of no alarm in the wee hours of the morning. Retirement will feel like it’s always right around the corner.
Don’t just give them one piece of art, build them a gallery. We’re not expecting you to go and build an actual gallery complete with gift shop but we think they’ll be just as impressed with this gift. A digital art museum lets them curate a unique art collection and makes the perfect gift for any art enthusiast. They can even upload their own artistic creations if they’re handy with a paintbrush themselves.
Most people think you have to get dirty in order to make money, but the inventors of money soap want you to know that’s just a cynical myth. In fact, they want you to know that sometimes the fastest and easiest way to make money is to get really clean. For anyone who needs a little encouragement to get in the shower, a nice fat bar of soap with a rolled up treasury note in the middle should do the trick.
If you’re going to do something, do it the right way. That goes for buying a knife too. The last thing you want is to be in a life and death situation and have to say, “If only I had a fine-toothed miniature saw and I knew what time it was.” This pocket knife has you covered on both fronts. The only way we could imagine this knife being more loaded is if they added a miniature cannon or gave it time travel capabilities. The perfect gift for the survivalist who likes that extra layer of security against that “what-ifs”.
A long time ago, in the distant past, kids used to put baseball cards in the spokes of their wheels to turn their bikes into motorcycles. We’ve come a long way since then. Now, we modify our bikes to actually make them self-powered, not just sound like it. The GeoOrbital Wheel is super easy to install - just remove the front wheel of your bike and hook this thing up in its place, and the next thing you know, you’re leaving the other bikes in your dust.
Speed is dangerous, but some kinds are more dangerous than others. This one is mostly just fun. But be careful: once they’ve experienced the feeling of flying around the track, the engine roaring like a wild beast, the smell of smoldering rubber in the air, they may never quite be the same.
Few activities draw as much attention, ridicule, and humor as farting. But until recently, nobody thought to create a taxonomy based on this fundamental behavior. Here is a science-backed tour of the world of bestial flatulence, providing an enlightening context to an activity that we often take for granted, but that never seems to lose its novelty. The project was spearheaded by a trained, certified zoologist, so you can rest assured that this information will never let you down when it comes time to apply it in the wild. This is the definitive guide we’ve all been praying for.
The old-fashioned wooden whiskey barrel has become a symbol of class and refinement. Big change from the old days when having one of these in your basement meant the feds might crash in any day and haul you off to prison for moonshining. There’s nothing like tasting the sweet fruit of your own labors, and these handmade barrels allow the owner to age spirits to their exact specifications. Now, even bottom-shelf bathtub whiskey can be turned into dusky gold in a few weeks time.
With any normal chocolate bar, even the generously-sized original Toblerone, one’s enjoyment is always tarnished by the sad thought that the experience will soon be over. Candy bars simply don’t last long enough. In contrast, candy lovers look upon this giant Toblerone bar the same way that a mountaineer gazes up at a lofty peak. In their mind, they understand that one day the expedition will be over, and the mammoth before them will have been conquered. Yet in the moment they can’t quite believe it.
Mainstream wine snobbery has never taken hold in the New World like it did in Europe, so we use coffee and beer as vehicles to look down on each other in its place. Your grandpa may have been more than happy with a cup of Maxwell House every day for 70 years, but that was a different time. The masses have developed a palate, and there’s no looking back. But with all the thousands of artisan roasters out there, anyone trying to keep up on their own is likely to go insane. Luckily, some already insane person has taken on the job of curating, so the rest of us can pretend we’re experts.
There’s no substitute for hard work and a craftsman-like approach to getting things done. So when you sit down at your desk, it’s great to a have a little reminder that it’s time to roll up your sleeves and have at it. This message comes through loud and clear with a desktop toolbox. It’s also a great way for the hopelessly messy to clean up that atomic catastrophe of a workspace. No organization involved. Just gather all the junk into your arms and toss it into the generous confines of this stylish vessel where no one can see it. Sometimes appearance is everything.
Meetings are inherently stupid. A meeting is where good ideas, ingenuity, and morale go to die. So it would be extra stupid for anyone to put any more effort than necessary into contributing or looking smart. Here is a guidebook for the enlightened.
Heavy drinking and recovery food are the yin and yang of the YOLO life. This book is 128 pages of pure detox alchemy, a journey through a magical culinary landscape where nausea evaporates like the morning dew and headaches turn to, well, less painful headaches. A must-have for the hard liver with a hard liver.
A bad stomach virus will elicit fewer groans than this book. When your sense of humor has calcified into something like petrified wood, it’s time to beat people gently into a stupor with it. This is the perfect instructional guide to doing just that.
The squirrels have been playing tricks on us for years, and most of us don’t even know it. In fact, squirrels often go way over the line. From house fires to divorces, they are responsible for untold misery, suffering, and property loss. It’s time we start giving them a taste of their own medicine. Start small. Start here.
You might be wondering why we need another liquid metal to play with. Well, sometimes people lose their mercury, and then they get bored because they have to play with stuffed animals instead. Just make sure you don’t spill this on your car (see video).
If you’re going to make use of a hideous cliche, you might as well own it. In fact, go ahead and wear it. Better yet, give it to someone else to wear, and see if they have the cojones to pull it off. Sure, the company Christmas party is the safe place to bust this thing out. But do they have the guts to rock this in February? If so, you’ve got a real killer on your hands.
If you want some world class street art in your house, you can wait for someone like Banksy to break in and paint something on your wall, but most likely that’s not going to happen. And if someone does break in and paint your walls, you’re probably not going to like what they do. It’s better to play it safe and go with one of the classics, like one of these wall art decals based on famous Banksy paintings. A much neater, more controllable way to be vandalized.
Get them started on that Bucket List while there’s time and health to finish it, with a tangible, physical bucket. They can pick an adventure whenever life permits. It's a gift that gives them the opportunity to make memories, rather than giving them a reason to make more closet space.
Put away childish things, then seal them up into an air and water tight steel container, dig a hole deep into the ground and bury them under a sidewalk. Put a plaque nearby or something like that, wait a few decades, and then have them return to open an archive of their former self. No big deal.
Having to repeat yourself is such a bore. These comfortable foam sandals leave a clear message behind you, so you can give the command without opening your mouth. Trips to the beach will get a lot cheaper and easier now that your minions know exactly what to do.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
Well, they’ve spent their entire life in this reality, they’ve probably had enough – we didn’t invent a whole new one for no reason. Give them a virtual reality headset and allow them to come face to face with dinosaurs, dance on the moon, meet their idol… you’ll probably never see them in the real world again.
Men of discerning tastes should not suffer the indignity of walking back and forth from the couch to the kitchen for a beer. We put a man on the moon for God’s sake. Hand-made by Amish craftsmen and built to last for generations, this is no flimsy Walmart furniture. Class out the wazoo.
In the land of the drunk, there are two categories: the worldly and the degenerate. Everyone else is sober. This old world globe bar sends a not-so-subtle signal which one they belong to. Help them appear wise and fascinating by appropriating the air of an intrepid explorer, even if they’ve never left the state.
Sure, it will be strange when you have to get that cheek swab from them without them knowing what you’re up to, but it will all make sense when you reveal this custom portrait that showcases their unique DNA. Or you could just give them the DNA collection kit as the gift if that’s easier. Or just swab your dog. They’ll never know the difference.
Roku was an early innovator in streaming devices, offering consumers a way to stream their Netflix account to their TVs way back in the barely-real year of 2008, and it’s still the most popular option because it’s affordable, easy to use, and it offers every channel you could ever need to scroll through before you decide there’s nothing on.
As far as unusable real estate goes, this isn’t a bad deal. Buy swampland in Florida and everyone thinks (actually, knows) you’re a poor, sad, gullible boob who’s open to being taken advantage of. Own some land on the moon, on the other hand, and you’re sort of a lazy pioneer. It’s a long way to go for a vacation, and whoever you give this to probably can’t afford to make the trip, but if they ever figure out how to make this whole space taxi thing work, their great grandkids might just get some use out of it.
For the true art connoisseur, sometimes a poster reproduction of a famous work just isn’t enough. And no, you’re not going to fool them with a “really nice” giclée print off Amazon. These are real, one-of-a-kind, straight from the hand of the artist genuine pieces. Whether it’s a canvas painting, a piece of modernist furniture, or an $18,000 metal balloon dog, there’s something for everyone here (and, believe it or not, for any budget if you’re willing to dig a little).
The idea that your home appliances are now studying and learning your habits might sound a little creepy. But this thing is really only trying to save you money. And no matter what you heard, it can’t read your thoughts. Unless you want it to.
Many days, all you really need to get out of bed is a great cup of coffee. But before you can even make coffee, you have to get out of bed. It’s one of life’s great conundrums. With a coffee machine like this, you can schedule it to have a great cup of joe ready for you as soon as you wake up. So all you have to do is drag your sorry carcass out of the sack and your day is ready to hit overdrive.
A great piece of meat is only good if you cook it right. And unless you’re going to crawl in the oven with it, it’s going to be hard to monitor it second-by-second so that you know the right instant to take it out. The meater uses wireless communication to signal that dinner is ready. Just like your primitive ancestors.
Nobody wants to be forced to act responsibly at a barbecue. That defeats the purpose. Yet the grilltender holds everyone’s happiness hostage to his attention span. After five or six beers that doesn’t work so well. This wireless grill thermometer will send an alert to your phone that the steak you’re ignoring is ready for your mouth.
The Roku Streaming Stick may be the Roku Ultra’s little brother, but it definitely punches above its weight. It features all the same channels, a voice activated remote, and a sleek design that remains hidden out of sight so no one has to look at your dongle while they watch TV.
Some might consider it the ultimate display of human privilege to begin claiming faraway stars just because we have a few extra dollars in our pockets. But once you realize that the universe is far bigger than you think it is, you’ll cool off a little. There’s more than enough to go around for everybody. Several billion times over. So go ahead and give someone a little piece of the cosmic pie. Nothing to get all riled up about.
Watch opposing armies fight for supremacy on the living room wall with this piece of functional art. Grandmasters and novice players alike will appreciate checking their opponents on the most unique game board in their home. Framed like a picture, this chessboard makes a unique present for anyone who loves to play games.
We can’t emphasize this enough: you ride the motorized cooler full of drinks to the party, you drink its contents, and then you WALK it back home. Nobody wants to be the guy on the news who got arrested for drunk driving an empty cooler. So stay safe.
Inside every high achiever is a bored, distracted child just waiting to pop out like a jack-in-the-box as soon as it sees an opportunity. One of the hidden benefits of the corner office is the privacy that allows the occupier of that office to play with whatever they want while the door is closed. A golden slinky carries the right amount of gravitas for a man or woman of power, and it’s far from the most embarrassing thing they could be caught playing with if someone opens the door unexpectedly.
Aggression sometimes gets a bad name, but the truth is that it’s only dangerous if misdirected. Many things in life should be aggressively pursued, such as happiness, growth, meaning, contribution — all of the warm and fuzzy stuff you see on posters. However, some people also feel the impulse to aggressively pursue verbal confrontation, or worse, opportunities to punch other people’s faces. For these folks, alternative avenues of release are really helpful. Here’s an opportunity to bring one of these alternative avenues to the most stressful environment of all: the workplace.
Perhaps in an elaborate joke on us all, Prank-O has managed to create a profitable business selling empty boxes. The boxes aren’t meant to remain empty, however. Prank-O encourages people to “disguise your gift in a stupid box.” So, for example, you have actually bought a very nice gift for a friend, but put it in a box that claims to contain an Earwax Candle Kit, or Bacon Scented Dryer Sheets. Imagine the look on that poor friend’s face when they think you have given them something really ridiculous, stupid and disgusting. And the relief when they realize it’s just a joke.
People who get into studying their family’s genealogy can get really into it. The simple family tree keeps expanding, with every branch having a story to tell, and it can take decades of research to learn about it all. Why not give them the gift of a start on that journey while they are young enough to complete it someday?
Lottery tickets are a great gift you can pick up at your local convenience store, that come with a serious upside. If they win big you may get a piece of the action. Lottery tickets are often things that people won't buy for themselves, believing that they never win anything, but who could help but get their hopes up when you present them with a dozen chances to strike it rich and travel the world in a super yacht?
If m&ms were a person, you would have choked the crap out of them by now because all they do is say the same thing over and over again. Thankfully, we now live in the infinitely customizable iCulture, where you don’t have to put up with that kind of nonsense anymore. Say everything you ever wanted to say, in the sweetest way possible.
Just give it to them. Don’t make a big deal about it, or give them diet books or a lecture or anything like that. They know. They have figured out for themselves that their body is not quite the well-tuned machine that it once was. Just give the Fitbit, and leave the rest to them.
For the musician who hates music, or for the kid whose parents you hate, there is the Otamatone, a “musical” instrument that makes the bagpipes seem reasonable. A touch sensitive bar on the neck changes pitch, while the little mouth at the bottom “sings” when squeezed. It all makes perfect sense (in Japan).
A first impression is a dominant factor in shaping perception. A hilarious doormat begins that process even before eye contact is made. Help them ingratiate themselves with party guests, traveling salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and whoever else happens to stumble upon their threshold. A little personality never hurt anyone.
Houses are great, but they don’t run themselves. There’s a million and one ways to ruin your property value, break important stuff, and blow yourself up. Don’t let someone you care about go blindly into that death trap.
3D printing technology is all the rage these days, but has anyone been able to explain to you what the point of it all really is? Well wonder no more! The point, as is so often the case with hi-tech gadgets, is pancakes. Design and print pancakes in shapes never thought possible before. What a time to be alive and hungry for breakfast.
Hanging a row of pictures straight seems like an easy enough thing to do, but if you’ve ever tried you know it’s easier said than done. Homeowners will have lots of opportunities to use this handy tool that really puts things in their place. The Hang-o-matic marks the exact spot on the wall that the nail needs to go and includes a tape measure and built-in level.
Sure, we lived for hundreds of thousands of years without electricity, but that’s not the point. The next time they’re in the middle of baking a casserole and a squirrel falls in the wires at the power plant, don’t make them resort to eating lettuce and raw cookie dough for dinner. Every house needs one of these.
The first time they filled the basement with batteries was just before the Y2k crisis. Or if they’re old enough, perhaps during the cold war. In both cases, nothing really happened. But maybe three times is a charm. Even if the modern world doesn’t collapse on itself, you’ll be giving them peace of mind knowing that their 84 remote controls will always be well fed.
The internet may have trained you not to trust “listicles”, but that shouldn’t stop you from buying this handy book for a new homeowner in your inner circle. Unlike most listicles, this isn’t clickbait - in fact, being a book, it can’t be clicked at all. They have to read it. And after they do, they’ll be a lot smarter about all things home-related. A home should be a source of happiness, pride, and comfort, not an infernal, bottomless money pit. This is the guide to making sure they come out on the right side.
Few household hobbies have the potential to be as hard on the joints as gardening, unless you like playing “Army Men” and parachuting off the roof with umbrellas, like some of us did as kids. This waterproof nylon stool does double duty as a knee/ankle saver and a tool bag, so the right implement is always within reach.
The fire escape is a staple of the urban landscape. Most people are too scared to use them in an emergency anyway, so they’re really just a decorative addition. At least this one holds your pictures and flower pots. Help someone give their new loft, studio, or suburban mcmansion a gritty, fashion-forward vibe with this unique gift.
Thieves these days can break into any safe, as the movies attest to. The key is in fooling them. Storing valuables inside an innocuous-looking clock is the perfect way to foil any evil plan. When you’re this clever, you don’t even need to lock things up.